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Chapter 26: Cluck, Cluck, Cluck!

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Mi Dashuai
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A few nimble fingers, and presto! Zombie undressed.

“Wow… I knew you batted for the other team, but isn’t a zombie a bit much? Yuck.” Anna stuck her head out and watched the cat-eared boy fumble, disgust written all over her face.

Lin Feng’s cheeks flared, matching the deep hue of the zombie’s insides. “As if,” he blurted. “Maybe keep your mind above the gutter? I’m simply scrounging for better clothes. Just look at the state of these rags I’m in.” He motioned to his tattered attire, then swiftly assessed the acquired clothes before packing them away. Those were going straight to the wash before any thought of wearing them.

Anna simply shook her head. “More like you need to stop touching that zombie.” Turning on her heel, she moved towards the stairs.

“Whatever,” Lin Feng murmured.

He quickly crammed a patient’s gown into his bag. Sure, there were fresh ones, but they were kinda baggy. For his outdoor escapades, snug fits were the way to go. Besides, the girls might fancy a wardrobe switch-up. And in times like these? Better safe than sorry.

Eyeing some sealed bedding, he stuffed them into his already overstuffed backpack. As he hauled it downstairs, he called out, “Everyone ready and set?”

Liu Tao, with a bag almost exploding with goodies, flashed a grin. “All set to go.” His stash? From bread to juice and, for all one knew, the kitchen sink – he’d packed enough for a mini-fiesta back at base.

Munching on beef jerky, Song Zhe chimed in, “Man, this loot’s top-notch!”

Lin Feng chuckled, “Pace yourself, Song. Let’s get these supplies home on the double. I gotta meet the principal first, so if things get dicey, ditch the loot and make a run for it.”

Song Zhe frowned with concern, “Want some company?”

Lin Feng waved him off, “Thanks, but they’ll need the help with the supplies. The students back there are starving. Just get back to them, before they do anything silly.”

Anna, seeing the dilemma, jumped in, “I’ll come with you.” If she had gone with them, she wouldn’t be much of a help anyway. Perhaps they could have carried one extra pack of supplies. Rather than wasting her talents where they weren’t needed, they would be better if she stayed as combat support.

“Really? You’re diving into this mess? You know I wasn’t kidding when I said flat chests do not live long in zombie movies.” Lin Feng teased.

Anna rolled her eyes, “Hey, I was born and raised in the colds of Russia, remember? And we Russians do not back down from a fight. If you think you’re saving the day without me, think again.” She started striding towards the old broadcast station, calling back, “Coming, lily-girl?”

Sighing softly, Lin Feng said, “Once you’re back, first thing: pull up those curtains. Wait for my knock – three long, one short – before letting down the curtain rope.”

Catching up to Anna as best a limp could, he couldn’t help but add, “Ever think of, I dunno, not always doing your own thing?”

“Warrior spirit, remember? We Russians do what we want!”

He sighed, “Just… try not to get too wild, okay?” Those perky twin ponytails of hers seemed to emphasize her loli spirit more.

Reaching the outskirts of the old campus broadcast room, they ducked behind a tree, eyes scanning the scene. There were zombies everywhere, especially around the generator. Inside, a single candle was alight, probably the principal engrossed in some writing. But what made Lin Feng’s heart race was another shadow – a zombie looming close, way too close.

“We’ve got trouble. Or rather the principal is in trouble,” he whispered to Anna, who tried to get a better look.

“What you meowing on about now? What’s up with the principal?”

Pulling her down so they wouldn’t be spotted, he said, “There’s a zombie behind the principal, we need to save him now.”

She looked skeptical, “You want to waltz into THAT?” pointing at the massive zombie rave happening around the broadcast room.

He nodded, “Exactly. Don’t worry, I’ll make some noise over by the lotus pond. Should get their undead attention long enough to rescue him.”

She raised an eyebrow, “You sure about this?”

“Absolutely. Just… stay here. Be back in a flash.”

Before she could react, he was off, darting into a nearby store. He grabbed some speakers, scissors, tape, and a screwdriver like he was on some kind of mad shopping spree. Next stop, a computer store where he found a laptop that had seen better days. A quick cleanup, a power check, and he was off again, this time to an e-bike store. He snatched a few alarms, then on a whim, grabbed a car stereo system. Stuffing everything into a plastic bag, he looked ready to distract every zombie in a hundred mile radius.

Limping with his spear, Lin Feng made his way towards the lotus pond.

Once he got to the safe spot by the pond, he did a quick 360 to make sure there weren’t any zombies nearby. Setting up the makeshift sound system was pretty straightforward for him, thanks to all those engineering classes. But no amount of classes was going to change the power output of that laptop, and how many speakers it could power.

About a half-hour later, he looked down at his DIY monster of a sound system, quite impressed with himself. After a quick soundcheck, he realized the car speakers were good to go. Now all he needed was to hit play and boom – it’d be loud enough to pull zombies from the nearby power station. Checking the scene, he saw Song Zhe and Liu Tao back on the rooftop, safe and curtain rope tucked in.

He thought to himself, “Man, it’s a good thing the principal didn’t turn on the generator 24/7. Those power generators would be louder than whatever this travesty of a sound system can put out”

Scaling the pavilion, he threw a stone to distract Mr. Zombie on the bridge. Then another. And when it got a little too curious, Lin Feng took the chance to send him off with a quick spear stab. The sound of a zombie going “thud” seemed to invite more of its buddies over.

Wiping off some sweat, Lin Feng patted himself on the back, “Phew, that was a workout.”

Anna, with a sassy tone, said, “Took you long enough!” as she was busy fighting off mosquitoes.

“I was getting things ready! And seriously? Rushing a guy with a limp? Shameless”

Anna, rolling her eyes, responded, “Maybe if you’d spend less time with your zombie crushes, you would actually have a normal girlfriend. Creeps don’t get my sympathy.”

“Enough with the sass,” Lin Feng shot back, dragging Anna up a tree. They were both glued to his phone, waiting for the moment:


And then, out of nowhere, the campus was jamming to:

“Chick, you’re too beautiful!!! Cluck, cluck, cluck!”

(TL: Just a reference to a misheard lyric where the guy (SWIN) sings something along the lines of “Because you’re too beautiful! Baby”, but it ends up sounding like “Chick, you’re too beautiful!” plus some silly onomatopoeia. Honestly, his Chinese is pretty horrible in that song, lol.)


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