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I open my magic storage inside my bag and take out the money for the shopkeeper.

“Sure thing.”
“You’re still gonna buy it?”
“I never said I wouldn’t.”

I take the ring from the shopkeeper, who’s smirking a bit weirdly, and we continue walking.

We just wander around the market, without a clear goal, and eventually sit down on a bench to rest.

“Anyway, I’ve just been talking about myself all this time. How are things on your side?”

I guess Danny is curious about my life after leaving Bamel. There’s no reason for me to keep it secret.

“I’ve just been taking care of the Young Lady in Ingralowe. I basically spend my days practicing alchemy, making magic devices, and writing a magic study book.”
“I get the alchemy part, but what’s this book thing about?”
“Ah, you see…”

I tell Danny about the Magic Academy’s textbook, and how it has some issues and how I was making it better.

The current textbook is basically an endless list of plain descriptions. That makes it hard to figure out the important bits, and it’s really only useful for those with good reading comprehension and memorization skills. Having a teacher explain everything made it easier, but there was more to studying than being in a classroom, proven by how some students would do better than others.

Everyone is different, some learn faster or slower than others. My book was meant to bridge those differences a little.

“You sound busy.”
“I only started that in an attempt to help the Young Lady though.”

While now I’m an author selling books, it all started with me trying to help Olivia study better.

“Other than that, I sometimes go to the forest and practice fighting monsters.”
“I feel bad for the monsters.”
“I don’t want to hear that from an adventurer.”

That brings back the memories of the ogres I fought that day.

Somehow I had tried to make a magic blade from my foot. I feel like I never did that before, but in my memories I know I did it when fighting the golem.

Danny was there when the golem attacked, so maybe he has an idea why my memories and experiences seem so disconnected.

“Danny, there’s actually something I’d like to ask.”
“What is it?”
“Do you remember that time we fought the golem with Mir and Jane?”
“Yeah?”
“I remember being hit by the golem and losing consciousness, then the next thing I remember is me being home while my Mistress fixed me.”

Ophelia had said that the golem had been destroyed. I always assumed that meant Ophelia had defeated it herself.

But when I was fighting the ogres I started trying to use my magic storage to reload faster, or making magic blades on my feet, and new memories started flooding in with that.

They revealed a truth I was not aware of.

“The golem…I defeated it, didn’t I?”
“…Yeah, it was you.”

Danny hesitates for a moment, but then nods firmly.

“Jane said that’s what magic automatons usually look like.”
“I see.”

I had a hunch about that. My body had moved while I was unconscious.

As far as I know, the fight with the golem is the only time I did something without being able to remember it. But maybe there are other times I just don’t recall.

This is the first time I felt a rift between ‘me’ and the ‘Natalia’ body I inhabit. I always thought we were one and the same, but maybe I needed to think it through more.

Ophelia told me she built the magic automaton Natalia to serve Olivia. So maybe there was a different soul meant for this body before I appeared here?

And that soul is still residing somewhere in this body… Which means I’m…

“You know…thinking that you might stop being you is uhh…scary, I guess.”

As Danny struggles to find the right words, I finally notice. Yeah, he’s right. I’m scared. I don’t want to stop being me. I already died once, reincarnated, and I’m willing to die again for Ophelia and Olivia, since they gave me the possibility of living again. I’ve always felt that way.

But I’m scared of eventually stopping being me, of my consciousness vanishing somewhere.

I’m willing to die, but I don’t want to die. It’s just…if I’m going to die, I want to pass away being ‘me’.

Is that even possible though? No matter what I do or try, I’ll never stop being a magic automaton.

I’m not human, but a monster, or just an object if I’m being blunt. Can something like me even pray or have wishes?

Tap!

I feel a hand placed on my head.

“I don’t really know how to say this, but don’t look so gloomy. You look way better when you’re smiling.”

I look at Danny and notice he looks pretty worried, and is trying to force a smile. That’s no advice at all, man. Is that really your best attempt at comforting someone?

“I’d rather hear that from anyone else but you.”

I don’t even appreciate the fact he’s patting my head.

Though well, I guess he has a point. I usually don’t trouble myself so much with things. And I doubt worrying about this will be of any help.

Ophelia never told me about it. I guess she didn’t think it was necessary for me to know.

It’s scary, and frustrating. But I’ll trust Ophelia, she created me, and I’ll continue living the way she made me.

“Oh, there you go. That’s better.”
“It ain’t thanks to you.”

Also, get your hand away from my head already. I brush his hand away, and he looks at me with his eyes open wide.

“I didn’t know you spoke like that.”

Ah, dammit. I spoke on instinct.

“Hey, it’s alright. Somehow I like that a bit more.”

I look away and cover my face, embarrassed by my stupid mistake. I’m such an idiot…

“No, seriously, it fits you better I think.”

This isn’t funny at all!!!

“Naaaaaaaaa-”

Ahh, this is the worst.

“Taaaaaaaaaa-”

I had managed to keep it secret from everyone but Ophelia.

“Liiiiiiiiiiiii-”

And I had to blurt my real personality in front of this guy.

“Aaaaaaaaa!”

Hm?
Did someone call my name?