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Chapter 5-87: My Honorable Bum

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Author: We Ain’t Fish Original Source: SFACG
Translator: Myuu English Source: Re:Library
Editor(s): Deximus_Maximus

Q: How should a skilled mage approach an enemy?
A: Keep a safe distance from the enemy, prioritize self-protection, perform quick incantation, and then unleash devastating attacks.

An old mage, who seemed to have honed his skills in rank nine for an undisclosed number of years, stroked his graying beard and calmly remarked, “In my humble opinion, Prince Yaeger made at least three crucial mistakes.”

The young girl curiously asked, “Oh? What were those mistakes?”

“Firstly, he failed to keep a safe distance from the enemy and instead chose to confront it head-on. You see, for a mage, an initial strike is often paramount. Regardless of the speed at which a spell is cast, waiting time is always required. Even without the need of incantations, one must first gather their magical power.”

“The opportunity for an initial strike lies in the distance between the mage and the enemy. In my many years of experience, the mage is at a disadvantage within a range of fifty paces when facing a martial warrior of equal strength. Beyond that, the mage holds the upper hand.”

“Secondly, Prince Yaeger casts spells in an excessively fancy way. A mage’s lifelong pursuit is to cast magic with precision and efficiency. While waving one’s wand around may appear impressive, it can actually interfere with the flow of magical energy and reduce the accuracy of the spell.”

“Oh… I see…”

As expected of a veteran who had spent several decades in rank nine, his expertise in this regard was highly accurate. Even the other mages were listening attentively, realizing that they had learned a lot from the wisdom of this old mage.

“As for the third mistake… well, I hesitate to even call it a mistake,” the old mage continued with a smile.

“What do you mean by that?” the crowd inquired, their brows furrowed in confusion.

“Prince Yaeger… was too straightforward…”

The old mage sighed, shaking his head. “While courage is certainly essential for us cultivators to reach great heights, it must be tempered when facing enemies as a mage. Take Prince Yaeger, for example. His approach was bold and impressive, but he lacked adaptability. He was like a hapless victim, waiting to be bitten to death by a vicious dog. Quite pitiful, I must say.”

“After all, adaptability is the essence of being a mage…” the old mage concluded.

“Bravo!” exclaimed a fellow mage, unable to contain his admiration. “Listening to the wisdom of an experienced individual is more enlightening than reading books for ten years. May I inquire about your esteemed name, sir?”
“Hoho. I am Gurr Reismancher, a wandering mage, and a nobody.”
“It’s truly an honor to meet you…”
“Haha, you flatter me…”

For a moment, the hall was filled with a positive energy.

“Hey, you guys! Don’t you have anything better to do than just standing around and criticizing me? Why don’t you hurry up and come help me? My honorable a̲s̲s̲ is about to get destroyed!”

Yaeger was on his knees with his hands on the ground. For some unknown reason, he had tears streaming down his face.

Oh gosh! What the hell is wrong with this strange monster?

Monsters or magical beasts would typically attack the more vulnerable areas of their target’s body, such as the neck.

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As a wise member of the royal family, Yaeger crushed the protective amulet crafted by a powerful saint-level expert as soon as he discovered that magic was ineffective. However, the effectiveness of the saint-level amulet was significantly diminished due to the presence of the anti-magic array, only offering protection to a specific part of the body.

Even so, none of that mattered as Yaeger had plenty of such amulets, both protective and destructive. As long as he could successfully block the monster’s initial attack, he could effortlessly vanquish this dog with a disposable sacred artifact.

Without wasting any time, Yaeger swiftly utilized the activated protective amulet to safeguard his vital areas.

However, the monster unexpectedly changed direction and executed a graceful sidestep, swiftly positioning itself behind Yaeger. And then…

It bit his honorable a̲s̲s̲ and refused to let go!

What kind of monster specialized in attacking the lower part of the human body?! Where was its dignity as a monster? Did a dog eat it?

“If you all refuse to help me and my a̲s̲s̲ really get destroyed, I’ll make sure to put all of you in the grave!”

The crowd was dumbfounded. Everyone started looking around until their eyes landed on Gurr Reismancher.

Gurr shuddered and then glared back at them. “I’m just a mage. What can I do when magic is forbidden here? Shove my wand in that monster’s a̲s̲s̲h̲o̲l̲e̲? Or run over and kick the monster in the balls? Stop it with all those filthy thoughts!”

“We haven’t even said anything yet…” everyone secretly thought to themselves.

The crowd then turned their attention to the young girl who was the first to request an autograph, claiming to be a loyal fan of Yaeger.

The young girl, who had her nose buried in the notebook she was writing in, suddenly looked up in confusion.

Upon realizing the situation, she hastily said, “I-I… can’t, I must survive. If I don’t, who will complete this book titled ‘The Incident of the Eighth Prince and the Evil Dog’, and preserve its legacy?”

“Hey, it seems like you’re writing something important! I don’t recall ever giving my consent for that!”

“Besides… despite being a martial warrior, I’m not able to utilize my battle qi here!” Tears of anxiety welled up in the young girl’s eyes.

Many martial warriors who cultivated their battle qi usually avoided excessive physical training, as the human body has its limits. Individuals who pushed themselves to the extreme in physical training like Elder White were extremely rare. Putting too much strain on the body could lead to numerous health issues, and the suffering could become unbearable in old age. Even after losing their battle qi, these individuals were much stronger than ordinary people.

The crowd fell into silence once again, as nobody wanted to put their neck on the line. After all, getting bitten in the a̲s̲s̲ publicly would bring lifelong disgrace.

At least twenty people had secretly captured this astonishing footage of Yaeger’s current predicament in their spectrum stones, and it was likely to make headlines in Jeorgetown City tomorrow.

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“Bah! Bunch of fake fans!” Yaeger could sense the deceitful thoughts of these people. They claimed to be his fans, but in reality, they were only interested in his appearance!

“Wengie, what are you standing there for? Go get Seventh Granduncle here! Ask him to save me!”

“A-Alright!” Wengie had actually wanted to remind Yaeger earlier that magic was prohibited here, but he would not listen, so there was nothing she could do. In any case, her role was merely that of a flower vase, meant to look beautiful while doing nothing. She could not possibly just rush up to that monster and beat it to a pulp.

If Wengie were to truly do that, Yaeger would eventually develop a fear of her and start distancing himself from Wengie, treating her as nothing more than a tool. By then, how could Wengie realize her ambition of becoming the Eighth Prince’s Consort?

Wengie hurried toward the exit of the hall. The monster had sunk its teeth into Yaeger’s a̲s̲s̲ for several minutes now. At this rate, Yaeger would not only face a social death tomorrow but also bleed to death today!

As Wengie was about to leave the hall, she noticed a young girl standing in the doorway.

The young girl was dressed in a stunning gothic dress, her skin as pale as moonlight. Her eyes were clear like sapphires, and her shiny blonde hair cascaded down her back like a waterfall.

Just her presence alone was enough to make Wengie feel ashamed and inferior.

For some reason, the young girl covered her face with a black veil, even in broad daylight.

“Ummm… Excuse me, I’m in a hurry.”

The young girl… also known as Lilith, stared at Wengie in silence, then withdrew her gaze and walked towards the center of the hall.

Everyone was watching the strange girl, even Yaeger’s loud wailing momentarily subsided. The only sound that could be heard was the crisp rhythmic tapping of leather shoes against the smooth marble floor.

Lilith walked over to Yaeger. To everyone’s astonishment, she kicked the creature in the a̲s̲s̲ in a highly unladylike manner and yelled, “You useless thing! Did I release you for you to behave this way?”

Obviously, her intention in releasing the dog was to create chaos and injure the other participants. It would be ideal if hundreds of people could end up not being able to take part in the tournament.

When the effect of the dragon blood wore off, the dog would return to its original form and no one would have the evidence to accuse her.

Lilith was certain that no one would be able to produce any drugs that could turn an ordinary dog into a monster.

Unfortunately, this embarrassing creature rushed into the hall, bit someone in the a̲s̲s̲, and refused to let go. She had been watching outside for a long time. Instead of chaos, the entire situation turned into an exotic pet show.

She almost felt like she was a tour guide wearing a red hat, holding a megaphone as she introduced to everyone, “Look, this is the legendary a̲s̲s̲-biting dog. The victim is the famous eighth prince of our empire!” Everyone would start snapping away, then they would have a pleasant chat before happily calling it a day.

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Most people were shocked to witness the young girl’s fearlessness as she boldly approached the monster and delivered a swift kick. Their concern grew as they feared the monster would retaliate and bite her a̲s̲s̲ instead.

They did not really care if it was Yaeger since he was a strong man, but the thought of a delicate girl being bitten by a dog in the a̲s̲s̲ was…. too thrilling!

Contrary to their expectations, the once ferocious monster immediately recoiled in response to the girl’s kick. It not only released Yaeger, but also lowered its head to nuzzle against the girl’s leather shoes while growling in satisfaction.

The young girl showed no appreciation toward its display of affection and swiftly kicked the monster away, sending it flying several meters away. After rolling on the ground and getting back up on its feet, the monster dared not approach the girl again. Even so, it continued wagging its tail with immense joy. Surprisingly, the onlookers could discern a submissive expression on its monstrous face.

“Oh, so you’re responsible for this!”

Realization finally dawned upon Yaeger. He covered the bleeding wound on his a̲s̲s̲ with his hand while pointing at the girl in front of him. With grief and indignation, he angrily asked, “Are you the one who released this dog?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

Yaeger was surprised that Lilith would admit it so easily.

“What are you going to do about it?”

What are you going to do about it?
Are you going to do about it?
You going to do about it?
To do about it?
About it?

Yaeger felt a moment of dizziness, unsure if it was due to anger or the loss of blood.

Are people truly so arrogant that they allow their dogs to bite others? Attacking the eighth prince of the Holy Dragon Empire with their dog in broad daylight! Did they think this is a lawless land?!

“Y-Y-Y-YOU! You’re dead meat! An assassination attempt on a royalty! I’ll make sure you lose your head for this!”

Yaeger could not care so much. He immediately declared this as an assassination attempt on a royalty.

Lilith did not even bother to lift her gaze. Instead, she smiled and asked, “Assassination attempt on the royalty? Do you have any evidence?”

“Evidence? There are so many witnesses around!”

“They can only prove your involvement in a public brawl with another participant, which does not substantiate my alleged assassination attempt on a royalty.”

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“Nonsense!” Yaeger laughed in anger. “After all this, you’re still trying to fight your way out?”

“I’m not…”

“That’s right, my sworn sister isn’t trying to fight her way out,” someone suddenly interrupted.

Yaeger became even more furious. He could not believe that these commoners were trying to walk all over him.

“And who are you?” he asked viciously.


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