“WAAAH—what the hell are you doing?!”

Saturday morning. First thing I see when I open my eyes is a red-haired gorilla silently sitting next to my bed. Scared me so bad I almost passed out again.

The culprit, Zhao Zhao, let out a dumb laugh that sounded like a barbell hitting the floor.

“Your dad let me in. You were still sleeping, so I didn’t want to wake you.”

I sat up and scooted toward the corner of the bed. “So you just sat next to me and stared? Are you seriously turning into a perv for men too now?”

At this point, I was seriously starting to suspect Xiao Lei’s personality had calcified in his brain.

“You wound me,” he said with exaggerated hurt.

He shifted to the side, and a narrow beam of sunlight slipped in through the gap in the curtains—right onto my pillow.

“I was blocking the sun for you. Though… gotta say, you do look kinda nice when you sleep.”

There’s this stupid little gap up top in my curtain, and every morning, if the sun’s at just the right angle, it shines right on my face—more effective than any alarm clock.

I pulled out my phone. Almost 9:30.

And as soon as I moved, I realized my nose was stuffy and my throat felt sore. Yup…

“Zhao Zhao, you piece of crap! You got me sick!”

“Heh. I’m already feeling better, though.”

“Because you gave it to me! Cough cough cough!”

“C’mon, it’s not like a cold’s a basketball you can just pass to someone. Anyway, since you’re just resting at home, go back to sleep~”

“Sleep your a̲s̲s̲! You scared it right out of me!”

And besides, this cold sucks. I can only breathe through my mouth, and my throat’s like sandpaper. All I want to do is cough. How the hell am I supposed to sleep like that?

I rubbed my eyes and rolled out of bed, dragging myself to the bathroom. “So what’d you come here for, anyway?”

“I… well, Xiao Lei wants to go observe the café today. Learn how the maid routine works.”

“Huh? I thought you … she was already super pro. Why does she need training?”

“She’s got the theory down, but she’s never actually done it.”

No kidding. If she had, I’d be way more concerned.

Just imagine—a 1.9m, 85-kilo muscle-maid charging at you with a “Goshujin-samaaa~”… Who could survive that kind of scene?

“So it’s all textbook for now, huh.”

I’d just finished squeezing out toothpaste when my phone—still on the nightstand—started ringing. Since my legs were still busted, Zhao Zhao helpfully brought it over.

“It’s senior Li Jianlian.”

I nodded and took the call.

“Chang Kai?”

“Yeah, what’s up, senior?”

My voice was kinda muffled from the cold.

“Oh—sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I’m up. You headed to work?”

“Yeah, I’ve got a shift today too.”

“You at the… ‘changing room’ already?”

“I’m already at the ‘changing room.’ Mind contacting Xiao Lei for me?”

“Sure, I’ll hang up and call her now.”

I waited till after brushing and washing up, then only scribbled his name down in the notebook.

Downstairs, Dad was on the couch reading the paper. No overtime today, and Wu Qinglan hadn’t shown up either—rare and peaceful.

He glanced over at Zhao Zhao and asked, “You two going out today?”

“Nope, I caught a cold. Just came down for breakfast.”

I sipped my millet porridge and turned back to Zhao Zhao. “Senior’s already at the café. You heading over once you finish?”

He rubbed his hands together sheepishly. “Commander, mind if I borrow your bookmark again today?”

“…I still need it myself, y’know?”

I mean, I’ve got a cold and a busted leg. What use is this pitiful body right now, anyway?

“I’ve been helping out another school’s basketball team lately, remember? Got a match today.”

I don’t really get basketball. A bunch of sweaty dudes ramming into each other over a ball feels… kinda gay.

“So go play your match, then head to the café? Doesn’t take that long, right?”

“Yeah, but going after the game is exhausting, y’know?”

“Don’t even start. The two bodies are functionally independent—we’ve already tested that, haven’t we?” I hesitated, then raised an eyebrow.

“Want me to come watch the game?”

He froze for a second, then started nodding like a bobblehead. Of course he’d be happy—a pretty girl cheering him on at a basketball game? Talk about social status boost.

Zhao Zhao made up some excuse to distract my dad, while I switched to my other body and dashed for the front door.

The match was at a public sports center—just a friendly scrimmage between nearby high schools. Though honestly, there’s nothing friendly about these so-called “friendlies.” It’s all just for bragging rights.

This version of me wasn’t sick, but I still wore a mask. I had on a soft wheat-colored chiffon blouse and a dark red pleated skirt—both of which Zhao Zhao had already mocked.

“You’ve got more girl clothes than Xiao Lei! And they’re all expensive-looking!”

The match didn’t start until 1PM, but we left around 10AM and grabbed lunch nearby. Even so, we ended up arriving way too early. His teammates and opponents hadn’t shown yet, so we sat on the sidelines, bored out of our minds.

Zhao Zhao was already in uniform—a bright red jersey, showing off his solid arms. Out of boredom, I gave one a little squeeze.

“Waaah, it’s so firm~”

GULP. The gorilla swallowed hard and blushed.

This guy… He refuses to join our school team but goes and plays ringer for other schools. Absolute traitor behavior. Though, to be fair, our school didn’t even participate in this round of friendlies.

“Lemme guess—your payment for helping out is probably… JK photos, right?”

He gave me a dead-serious look. “Come on. I’m not that kind of guy. I’m helping out a friend from middle school.”

“A friend? From middle school? Do I know them?”

“Lu Fenglai. You should. Look, here he comes.”

I couldn’t immediately recall the name, so I followed Zhao Zhao’s finger toward the gym entrance.

A group of guys in matching jerseys walked in. Leading the pack was a tall, dark-skinned dude with dreadlocks, towering over even Zhao Zhao.

“…Wait. Is he African?!”

Did we have exchange students in middle school?

“Nah, just tanned. Here, I’ll show you his old photo.”

Zhao Zhao still had pictures from back then? Didn’t think he would keep any.

The photo showed a pale, skinny kid with glasses—totally different vibe. Looked vaguely familiar—probably someone in a different class. But he did not look like the athletic type.

Compare that to this… borderline bodybuilder?

“Hold up. That can’t be the same person!”

“Hey, people change~”

“He changed ethnicities!”

Seriously, what the hell did he go through?!

While I was still processing, the team had already reached us. Lu Fenglai greeted Zhao Zhao with a bear hug while the rest of them curiously eyed me.

Then the ‘African’ turned to me and said—in raspy but not unpleasant Chinese—“Zhao-ge~ Thanks again for helping today!”

“Don’t worry about it. Just play along and we won’t lose.”

He sure knows how to inspire confidence. He’s always been super cocky about his basketball skills…

Lu Fenglai chatted a bit with Zhao Zhao before turning to me.

“This must be your girlfriend?”

“Huh?!” I practically choked. “No no no! Just a friend. Came to watch the game, that’s all.”

He nodded, totally missing the point. “No need to be shy, sis-in-law. You came all the way out here just to see him play—that’s not just a ‘friend’~ I get it. Such a great guy like Zhao-ge, of course you fell for him.”

Excuse me, what?! He clearly doesn’t know what kind of legend Zhao Zhao is back at our school.

We’re talking about the dude who’s basically an urban myth: “Speak his name, and you’ll get pregnant.” A literal walking mass of perversion. What part of that says “boyfriend material”?!

I shot a glare at Zhao Zhao, begging for help—and that b̲a̲s̲t̲a̲r̲d̲ just whistled and looked away… He agreed?! And looked pleased about it?!

Of all the people I could be mistaken for, Zhao Zhao’s girlfriend? That’s the worst.

Whether they were actually dumb or just playing dumb, I couldn’t manage to clear things up before the match started.

…Lu Fenglai from Yanyuan High, huh?

Yeah. I’m definitely gonna mess with him later.