“Master, say ah~”

“Ah~ nom~”

…In the end, I fed him. I mean, the owner did put it on the menu with a price tag, and it was just feeding, so I figured, no harm done—yeah right! What about my pride as a man?! It’s been shattered so thoroughly, even the saliva-soaked pieces won’t stick back together!

“I’ll take one! MoeMoe Maid LoveLove Omurice!”

“Same here!”

“I want the maid omurice too—plus feeding service!”

“I saw it on the café’s official account. Heard the maids here make the omurice themselves? And even offer to feed you?!”

What?! What the heck?! Does money grow from trees for these people?!

Somehow, I suddenly got super busy—running back and forth between the kitchen and the café floor, doing feeding plays for rich masters left and right. Finally starting to feel what it’s like to earn that hundred-yuan hourly wage… But I’m so tired I could die! I need a break! I’m starving too!

“Owner! What’s that about the official account?!”

He pulled a laptop out from under the bar and opened a Weibo page with over forty thousand followers. The account was also called Kamehameha, and the profile pic… was literally the top of his bald head.

He rubbed his shiny dome and said, “I just updated it a bit. Response has been good.”

So he’s the one maintaining the account? Seriously?! An old guy like him, actually keeping up with social media and pulling off digital marketing?

The fat guy who introduced himself as Flash—was apparently a professional photographer. Once the owner gave him the green light, he started tailing me with his DSLR. I flip a pan, and he clicks like ten times.

This omurice craze somehow lasted all the way till around 3PM.

I flipped pans until I couldn’t even hold the handle straight. My hand shook so much while feeding customers that I accidentally flung rice everywhere, then jabbed a spoon right into one master’s nose… and yet he still chuckled creepily, all satisfied.

“Saki-chan is an angel~!”

Getting praised like that… yeah, it’s kind of going to my head. I think I’m starting to understand what they mean by “maids are idols too.”

Around 5PM, a group of guys who clearly didn’t belong showed up. A dozen or so, all sketchy-looking with their piercings and punk vibes—total delinquents, not customers. Not here to eat.

The Tianping Commercial District is a mess. No shortage of these alley rats—you kick one batch out, another crawls in. Like weeds or mobs in an RPG—they just keep respawning.

“What’s your business here?” I stepped up, as a maid and staff member, to ask anyway.

The guy in front, wearing a nose ring, gave me this sleazy grin. “Hey, aren’t you a maid? Shouldn’t you be calling me Master, huh?”

Some of the customers stood up. I actually got more worried they’d get into a fight, so I frowned and said, “Sorry, we’re at capacity today. Please come again some other time.”

“Cut the crap,” Nose Ring sneered, pulling out a baseball bat covered in rusted nails. He pointed it around the café. “If you don’t wanna get hurt, scram!”

Maybe it was fear, maybe they wanted to stand their ground—aside from a few who bailed, most customers stayed where they were.

That nail-covered bat was bad news. Not just for blunt trauma—the rusted nails could cause tetanus. If he started swinging that around, things could get ugly real fast.

I turned to look at owner Yuwen for help—he was calmly polishing glasses behind the bar. But somehow… his presence felt completely different.

“You’re new around here? Trying to make a name for yourselves in the underground shopping street?” He narrowed his eyes, speaking with a weight that commanded respect. “This shop’s not one your third-rate gang of punks should be messing with. Turn around now, and I might just spare your pathetic lives.”

A weird sense of calm washed over me. For some reason, the owner seemed really reliable.

“Leave? Sure thing. Just hand over half today’s earnings first.” Nose Ring kept running his mouth. “What are you gonna do—just you, an old man and some maid? Or are you betting on these customers to back you up?”

I’d already stepped behind the counter. The thugs had completely flooded the store, bats and all—very coordinated, I’ll give them that.

Feeling bold, one of the grunts reached for the register.

“Idiots,” the owner muttered. With two fingers, he hooked the guy across the bridge of his nose. The dude dropped like a sack of bricks—didn’t even have time to grunt.

“I’ll say it again. Leave now while you still can.”

The owner was still holding back, but the thugs weren’t listening. They moved in, surrounding the counter, trying to intimidate the guests too.

“Heh. Still stalling, old man? No one’s calling the cops—our guys already blocked off both ends of the hall. No one’s getting in.”

My heart sank. You mean there are more of them outside?!

“If that’s how you want it… Saki, get ready to call an ambulance.”

“Huh?! Boss?!”

“For them, of course.”

The owner, who had to be in his sixties or seventies, peeled off his Hawaiian shirt—revealing muscles that’d put most gym rats to shame. As he stepped out from behind the bar, the nearest thugs instinctively backed off.

Bald guys really are built different.

“What’re you staring at? Just some buff old man—he can’t take all of us—”

Nose Ring didn’t even finish his sentence before the owner dashed forward, wrapped an arm around his neck, and slammed him straight down. His head hit the floor with a sickening thud. Out cold.

After that, every thug who tried to step in—whether to attack or defend—got sent flying.

People say “a pair of fists can’t beat four hands,” but that’s only when the skill level is equal. These punks weren’t even in the same league.

“I spent seven years in a foreign mercenary team. Everything I learned was to kill.”

Two of the thugs bolted for the exit—only to get thrown back inside a few seconds later with loud thuds.

“Boss?! What just happened out there?!”

It was my older sister, just clocking in—maid alias, Xiao Jiu. She flipped her long ponytail and swung a thug’s bat like a club, knocking out another one who was still conscious. As a member of the girls' campus’s security force, she’s not someone to mess with.

By the way, she’s three years older than me. But she insists on telling the owner she’s still a high schooler from Biyang Girls’ Academy… trying a little too hard to play the “JK” role.

“I cleared out the ones outside. What were these guys even trying to pull?”

“Said they were here to collect protection money. But I doubt it’s that simple. No veteran gang would dare target this café unless it was some newbies who got cocky.” The owner didn’t even bat an eye at her strength. Pulling his Hawaiian shirt back on, he frowned at the pile of bodies on the floor. “Any of them still conscious outside? Go ask.”

“They all ran off,” Xiao Jiu said, crossing her arms. Then she spotted me and pounced, checking me head to toe. “Aww, my cute little sibling¹, you’re not hurt, are you? Were you scared?”

“S-Sibling?”

“I’m fine. The owner kept things under control—really reassuring.”

“That’s good to hear~”

She hooked her arm around my neck affectionately. Her scent and the feel of certain softnesses were very distracting…

“I heard all about it, you know~? You were a huge hit today! I’m kind of jealous.”

The police showed up and asked a few routine questions before carting off the thugs. Looks like this kind of thing happens often in Tianping—even the cops seemed used to it.

They looked more annoyed than anything. Several of the punks had broken bones thanks to the owner, and the walk to the underground parking area was long.

Thanks to the owner’s badassery, the crisis was averted. But business definitely took a hit.

…That said, footage of owner Yuwen soloing a thug squad did go viral online afterward, and new customers started flocking in. But that’s a story for another day.

“Let’s call it early today. Those b̲a̲s̲t̲a̲r̲d̲s̲ might come back for revenge,” the owner said. “Xiao Jiu, escort Saki home properly. Don’t worry—you’ll still get full pay for today.”

With the shop mostly empty, he told us we could leave early…

…Wait, hold on. He wants my sis to take me home?!

Are you kidding me?!