Interlude 1 – Worship Delicious Food

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Author: Sasaki Ichiro Original Source: Syosetu
Translator: Tony Yon English Source: MadoSpicy TL
Editor(s): Crash

“I want pork.”

In the open storefront, towards my impolite request the ramen shop owner “Tonkotsu the Great” who was one of the lesser demons, looked at me fondly with an understanding expression and nodded solemnly.

“I understand, Princess.”

Then, he walked toward the corner where his employee, a High Orc who watched over the preparation process, was and gave him instructions.

“Hoi, close the shop curtain. Later, hang the closed sign. –You’re still green, but I’ll leave the shop to you.”
“……but, Boss!”

The employee responded with teary eyes.

“—? I only asked for pork, why is it becoming something like a final farewell?” At that time I had a really bad premonition.

Then as if it’s something ‘obvious’ he answered me, “Pork— that would mean you want my (Orc King) life.”

Because that answer was mostly expected, I fell and prostrated on the counter, “How did it become like that! Then what if I said I wanted beef?!”

“Then that would mean I should kill and bring to you a Minotaur, either the owner of the Gyudon shop diagonally opposite from here, or Shiyuu the blacksmith.”

Gaijin answered without a shred of cloud in his eyes. Even the High Orc employee nodded in agreement.

“Then if I said I want vegetables!?”

“Burn down the Yggdrasil forest behind the castle. Oh, as expected, starting a war against plant-type monsters makes me want to go all out.”

Gaijin’s eyes shone. By the way, Yggdrasil is a paid gacha prize. After I planted 5 or 6 of them, before I noticed it had changed into a forest with giant trees that would make your eyes pop out. It became something similar to sacred grounds for plant-type monsters or high elves.

Also, I wonder what happened with the one “Legendary Tree” with unknown origins which I planted there. If it became a place for confessions, I honestly will become angry.

Wait, if you burn that forest down, won’t it become a civil war!? Will this country fall into civil war just because I want to eat vegetables!??

…then, I asked in desperation, “Then, what if I ask for mutton?!”

Gaijin folded his arms with a difficult expression, “Human, huh? Since there’s none in this place, then I must go down to hunt, it’ll take some time…”

“Why does mutton become ‘human’ meat’?!”

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“Eh, you didn’t know? In a certain country humans were called “bipedal sheep.” They called them sheep with two legs and ate them… Well, for me, I prefer the animal one. Since the taste of humans vary greatly depending on their environment, it’s hard to find something to my taste.”

In this situation, “Is there no normal meat?!”, “Don’t talk as if they’re the same!!”, or “Why do you know something that even I don’t know!?”, I wonder which retort I should use.

“Then…what if I ask you to get chicken meat!?”

“Then I will introduce you to the butcher in the main streets.”

“Why is only the answer for chicken meat normal!? Or rather, if there’s a butcher then tell me that from the beginning!!”

Unintentionally, the stress that was building up inside me exploded, I raised the chair overhead and stepped onto the counter. In that instant, Gaijin’s complexion changed,

“This is bad, Princess went berserk again! Help me, hold her down!”

At the same time as he called out to his employees, he activated the skill “Summon Orc” which summoned a dozen Orc soldiers.

“I. A.M. N.O.T—!”
“Blood! Prepare blood!!”
“If it’s only pig blood, we already have five buckets!”
“Then, use that! I will hold her down, you guys pour all of it!”
“Don’t pour it~~~!! Or rather, there are some entrails floating in there!!”

All my screams ended in vain, being surrounded and captured by their joined forces (since the shop is narrow I can’t run, and I also can’t win with my strength), the blood and entrails were poured onto me.

.
.
.

After that, I borrowed the bath and changed my clothes, then explained to Gaijin again from the very beginning. “…As I said, I only want to cook normally, I don’t have any weird intentions. Ah, also I want to borrow a place to cook.”

“Huh… Princess wants to cook?”

Why when I said that I wanted to cook they looked at me as if I announced a dog running in circles chasing its own tail?

I usually cook on my own for all three meals I had (though when I had a part time job I ate at the staff canteen on the second floor of the supermarket I worked at), even in game, I raised my cooking skill meaninglessly until the counter stopped.

“Even if the Princess doesn’t cook, with one order a dragon will grill itself, or you can just eat a raw pixie, or do you want to prepare them all at once? If the Princess really wants to eat, everyone will voluntarily lie on the chopping board.”

Were the inhabitants of this country all like that? A rabbit that will voluntarily fly into fire, something which only appeared in old folk stories.

“That’s not it, I don’t want others to prepare it for me, since I’m visiting someone. I want to cook by myself.”

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“Visiting…?” Gaijin tilted his head with an expression as if he heard some kind of difficult formula. Well, for people from this country that’s something that’s far from their own common sense. They won’t even catch a cold I’d say.1

First, let’s talk to him about what happened a while ago.

◆◇◆◇

“I’m really sorry. I don’t know how I should make up for this…”

Toward my apologies for the Nth time, Joey who sat on the inn’s bed also answered for the Nth time.

“As I said, you don’t have to mind it. At any rate, the one at fault is that beastman b̲a̲s̲t̲a̲r̲d̲ anyway, and I who accepted the escort request, yet was unable to protect you is the one who is most at fault.”

Actually, he was scolded harshly by Gald because of that, Joey smiled wryly as he said it.

“ ‘Protecting’ doesn’t mean you should confront an enemy who you have no chance of victory against. We are the jack of all trades, we must think of the safety of our client as our main priority and use ANY methods—not only fighting, to protect them. You can make use of advantageous terrain to run around, or quickly inform us about it.”

After that, he was told that it might be too early for him to get D-rank, and he became really afraid that he might be demoted. Ah, this is also the second request that I can’t fulfil in the end, he laughed in a carefree manner.

However, how should I put it, despite having a near death experience twice, he has no intention of giving up on being an adventurer. In another sense he might be really talented.

Even so, “Leaving aside the Animaru case, what I did to you after that is completely my fault. If the Beast King didn’t treat you, you certainly would be dead already.”

I shook my head lightly and looked at my feet. The sight of a balloon skirt encased with a rose corsage and the floor entered my eyes.

“Well, that’s something akin to a sickness right? Then you’re not in the wrong.”

I explained roughly about the special characteristic of a vampire princess, but somehow he understood it that way. That innocence on the contrary hurt me even more, and the feeling of guilt in my heart increased…

“…No, despite knowing that possibility yet being unable to provide proper measures is my fault. As I thought, I won’t be satisfied with this. –At least hit me once!”

When I raised my head, Joey’s eyes and mouth opened wide and in a hurry he shook his head diagonally.

“Noway-noway-noway! There’s no way I could do that. Moreover hitting a girl is a bit—”
“You don’t have to mind my gender. You can treat it as if I am your close male friend, or someone you hate—or just thinking that the one in front of you is that Animaru and hit as hard as you can.”
“What kind of logic is that?! Or rather, I absolutely can’t do that!”

Hmmm… certainly my appearance is completely a girl, perhaps it’s difficult to accept something like that.

“…I am troubled.”
“I should be the one troubled here…”

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It seems Joey was muttering something, but since I was in deep thought it passed through one ear and left through the other.

I threw my gaze around the room he’s staying in. It’s different from the cheap inns on the outskirts that he stayed at when he was an F-rank. This place is akin to lower-middle class stuff. The room is bigger, there’s even a desk and chair (where I am sitting right now), and also a wardrobe to keep equipment.

The bed is also fairly nice, there’s a side chest beside it and that’s where my get-well gift was: a bouquet of roses which was put in a vase and decorated this place (the landlady not only lent the vase, she even arranged it for me).

Then, when I saw the tableware with leftover food beside it, I tilted my head in puzzlement.

“You don’t have an appetite? There’s still around half left.”

“Aah—” noticing my gaze Joey smiled wryly. “Even though I’m sick, I still feel tired of eating risotto everyday……that said I only feel a bit dizzy, it’s not like I’m wounded somewhere.”

“That dizziness is caused by lack of blood. That’s because even though your stamina is back the blood is still lost.”

Hmmm, since he lacks blood—then food which can increase his blood is necessary. To make blood you need protein, then that would mean meat. Other things are dairy products, something like cheese. Vegetables are also good for blood vessels, for quick energy recovery then it’s grains or oil, also sugar. Then, that might be good. It’s easy to eat too.

“—then, I will cook an easy to eat food and bring it to you when I visit tomorrow, as an apology.”

At my suggestion, Joey’s expression turned complicated.

“Cooking…. You will?”

“……That’s rude. I don’t care if you’re unable to stand up because of the surprise after eating it!”

◆◇◆◇

“Haa, I see…” Gaijin threw out a random answer with a face as if he’s understanding yet he doesn’t understand, “Then, what do you want to make, Princess?”

“When it comes to meat, cheese, vegetables, and bread, of course that would mean a cheeseburger!”

“Hamburger huh? Then how about we buy it from the rival burger shops on the main road, ‘Death Burger’, ‘Burger in Monster’ or ‘Dung Beetle Burger Shop’?”

What a bunch of scarily named stores.

“…No, if we bought from there then that would mean it’s not handmade.”

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I won’t be able to look him in the face anymore if my get-well gift dealt a coup-de-grace to him.

◆◇◆◇

Then the next day Joey, who ate the cheeseburger Hiyuki made, was impressed by its deliciousness.

“It’s delicious! What is this thing!?”

As she looked at him while he happily ate in surprise, Hiyuki puffed her chest with pride and proclaimed, “How is that, it’s pretty good, isn’t it?”

“This is incredibly delicious! It’ll be great if I can eat this dish every day.”

Joey looked at Hiyuki with a meaningful glance, but Hiyuki who didn’t notice it frowned and tilted her head a little, “If you eat it every day, won’t the calories be bad for your body? Well, if it’s only once in a while it won’t become a problem, so I’ll teach the landlady the recipe later.”

That answer dealt a coup-de-grace to the young boy’s heart.


Later, the hamburgers from this inn became famous and hamburgers were introduced to all nations in the continent. And perhaps there will be new dishes which are inspired from this.



References

  1. TL: Stupid people don’t catch cold

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