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Chapter 21 – My companions are a dog and a loser. What do I do?

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Author: Rina Shito Original Source: Syosetu
Translator: Estelion English Source: Oniichanyamete
Editor(s): Silva, Liomad

The Demonic Evil Three attack!

Pervert (Nielsen)’s friend, Belnandes, suddenly came with an emergency report. For some reason this guy gives the same scent as Pervert (Nielsen). Birds of a feather flock together, huh.

“Good work, Bel. And so, when will the gangsters be arriving?”
“Milady. I believe they will arrive at the Beruga plains within a few hours.”
“Got it. Timu, wait here, okay? Niel and I will ambush the gangsters.”
“Please wait, elder sister. Meager though my power may be, I will head to the frontlines as well.”
“No, Timu. It’s too dangerous to get close to the gangsters!”
“I understand that it is dangerous. However, I want to help you if only a little, elder sister.”

Timu, what cute things you say! You’re going to pull my heartstrings!

But it really is dangerous. No matter how good Timu is with magic, she’s still just a fourteen year old child. If those gangsters spot a pretty girl like Timu, they’ll definitely make a pass at her. Unmistakably.

Well, having said that, I’m a pretty girl as well, so they’ll probably aim for me too. But I’m prepared. I’ll turn the tables on them. The plan is set. It’s dangerous, so I need to have Timu hide at the shop.

“Timu, I’m happy for your feelings. I know that you’re strong as well. But you know, it might sound harsh, but the gangsters are too much for you.”
“I understand your worries, Lady Tilea. We deeply understand their danger. However, I believe that makes Lady Camilla’s help all the more necessary.”

When I warned Timu, Pervert (Nielsen) cut in from the side.

Mm~mn, it’s true that Pervert (Nielsen) has a point as well. Pervert (Nielsen) and I are close combat types. It would help a lot to have a backline support type. Maybe I really should have Timu support us with long-range magic after all.

If Pervert (Nielsen) and I get done in, in the end Timu will have to face off with the gangster anyway, right?

…Okay. Let’s go with that. I’ve decided!

Whether she fights with the gangster, or runs away from the gangsters, the difference between whether or not we have backline support is huge. Timu runs fast, and if it comes to it, I can just tell her to escape. And if by some chance they go for Timu first, I’ll just bet my life to stop them. After that, I’ll just have Timu attack them with her elementary magic, but…

I wonder how that’ll go.

I’ve taken one of Timu’s magic bullets before. It hurt quite a bit. I think it’ll work pretty well on the gangsters as well, but…

If I remember correctly, Pervert (Nielsen) knows the gangsters, so maybe I’ll ask him.

“Niel, would Timu’s magic work on the gangsters?”
“Lady Camilla can use the strongest magic from ancient times. Were the enemy simply any strong warrior, there would be no problem. However, the enemy this time are the heaven-sent children of destruction, the Demonic Evil Three. My deepest apologies. I am unable to make a judgment.”

“Elder sister, please do not worry. I have powered up since last time. I will certainly not do something as foolish as holding you back, elder sister.”

Timu ardently appealed to me. Right. If we sisters combine our power, we’ll make short work of them. Timu, I’ll be borrowing your strength.

“Thanks, Timu. I’m reluctant to do so, but I’ll be having you help out, okay? But if it gets dangerous, drop everything and run.”
“I will not do something such as deserting my elder sister and fleeing.”
“No. It’s an order. If you feel any danger, run away immediately. You’re more important to me than anything else, after all.”
“E-, elder sister. S-, Such words are too good for me! To think that you thought so much of me… I, I… I am deeply moved.”

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Timu became teary-eyed, and trembled with emotion. Geez, Timu. That much is obvious, isn’t it. I’m your older sister, after all.

“Niel, if the time comes, take Timu and escape. When push comes to shove, I’ll get the job done somehow.”
“Milady. However…”
“Niel, aren’t you Timu’s loyal servant! Follow my order. Or could it be that you don’t trust in me?”
“I would not think of such a thing.”
“Then I’ll be leaving it to you, okay?”
“Yes milady. I shall comply with certainty. Please leave Lady Camilla to me. I shall risk my life to protect her. Please wield your power as much as you desire, Lady Tilea.”
“Mn, leave it to me. I’ve got a plan after all.”

If it comes down to it, while I buy time, I’ll have Pervert (Nielsen) take Timu away. At the time, they can just call the rest of the townspeople. The people in this town are usually gentle, but when it comes down to it, there are plenty of them that are strong in fights. And there are all the people of Timu’s praetorian guard too, after all. We have quite the force in numbers.

Hu hu, we’ll gang up on them in huge numbers and beat the crap out of them! Damned gangsters, I won’t let you call it cowardly!

Well, that’s a last resort. As you’d expect, lynching them in huge numbers would make us the bad guys. First I’ll show them our power, and have a talk with them.
We are technically going to try talking it out first, and if we came in massive numbers, it would just spur them on. I’ll have everyone in the praetorian guard on standby near the shop.

“Niel, tell the praetorian guard to stand by near the shop.”
“Understood. Adding half-baked war potential would simply put the troops in danger, and is not a good idea. I approve of your plan on going with just an elite few, Lady Tilea.”

Mmn, that’s not actually what it is. You’re just here to make up the numbers you know. But well, I have no intention of telling Pervert (Nielsen) the truth and demotivating him.

“Well then, I have a little somewhere to visit, so I’ll be taking my leave. You two gather at the Beruga Plains.”
“Yes, Milady!”

Alright. Next is to put Plan Number 2 into motion.

I headed to the guard station to call Loser (Bizef). He should be on duty today, so he should be in…

Arriving at the guard station, I searched for him.

“Excuuuse me. Is Bizef in?”
“Hey, Tilea. What’s wrong?”
“Bizef, it’s what I mentioned the other day. The delinquents have come. Please help us.”
“Got it. Leave it to me. Mind showing me where they are?”

Hearing my words, Loser (Bizef) cracked his knuckles. Looks like he’s pumped to give the delinquents a beating. I’m happy that he’s enthusiastic, but is he planning on going with just those clothes? He’ll be done in.

“Wait, wait! Bizef, let’s go grab the armor from last time!”
“Ah-, r-, right. But I don’t think the armor will be necessary. Isn’t it fine to go without?”
“Bizef, you did promise to lend me armor, didn’t you?”
“G-, Got it. I got it. Guess it can’t be helped. Well then, follow me.”

Loser (Bizef) wasn’t eager to lend me the armor. While he was guiding me there, he mumbled in complaint.

It was probably the pride of having to put on armor just for a few delinquents, and more important than anything was that he didn’t want me to dirty his rare gear by wearing it.

After all, the things in Loser (Bizef)’s armor room were all sparkling clean. This is why I hate collectors. If you’re going to be like this, then buy three for “preserving,” “using” and “lending”!

Aah~ but I guess when it comes to rare items, it really would be difficult to have three of them.

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When we got to Loser (Bizef)’s house, I immediately borrowed the bracers and chainmail and equipped them.

Ooh~ I feel kind of like an adventurer now. I gave kicking, and waving my arm a try.

Haha, Evil God Dark Matter has arrived!

Feeling like my old self again, I started running about.

“Tilea, Tilea, don’t move around so much. You’ll scratch them. Aah~ you scraped the bracers against the wall. Stop! Stop!”

Loser (Bizef)’s expression changed, and he stopped me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I get how you feel, but these are supposed to be rare!

If it gets scratched from just this kind of movement, they’re fakes, you know. To begin with, are you trying to tell me not to move at all? No way. I’m going to run about as much as I want. I’ll go wild.

“Bizef, if I’m paying attention to the armor, I won’t be able to move.”
“Right. Then maybe just take off the armor already? Hey, hey, I’ll help you take it off.”

Saying that, Loser (Bizef) tried to take off my clothes. His hands approached my chest. Oi, oi, are you intending on touching my breasts?

“…If you don’t cut it out, I’ll get angry, you know.”
“A, haha. I-, I was just kidding, Tilea. Anyway, shall we go!?”

Honestly, this damned Loser (Bizef). When it comes to weapons, the look on his face changes. He very nearly ended up sexually harassing me.

Pulling myself back together, I headed to the Beruga Plains with Loser (Bizef).

I wonder if Pervert (Nielsen) and Timu are already there.

Arriving at Beruga Plains, I looked about.

Oh! Pervert (Nielsen) was there.

Pervert (Nielsen) was standing on the plains, looking needlessly cool. Even though he’d make a fantastic picture with his dandyism if he would just keep his mouth shut like that…

“You’ve come, Niel. Where’s Timu?”
“Why if it isn’t Lady Tilea. Lady Camilla is already on standby in the thicket behind us.”
“Just as planned, huh?”
“Yes. All that remains is to wait for them to come.”

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Alright, well then, the frontline and backline are both in position. If it devolves into a fight with the gangsters, I’ll have Timu fire magic bullets from the back.

“If I remember right, this person was… the new worker at your shop, right, Tilea? Nice to meet you. I’m Bizef, a guard in this town.”

Saying that, Loser (Bizef) started a conversation with Pervert (Nielsen).

Aah, speaking of which, this is their first meeting isn’t it. Maybe I should introduce them to each other.

“Human, do not speak so familiarly with me. And what’s more, what a tone to use with Lady Tilea. There should be limits to your disrespect. Before the battle, shall I offer you as a sacrifice to the War God!”
“W-, What the hell! The one who suddenly got rude was you!”

Oi, oi, oi, don’t just suddenly start a fight. Loser (Bizef) and Pervert (Nielsen) were just about to explode. What the heck are you doing by suddenly causing a falling out? Even though our war potential was doubtful to begin with…

Honestly, why did Pervert (Nielsen) do something like― wait, hang on, that’s right. Pervert (Nielsen) was a chuunibyou who paid no attention to the time or place, and bit at everyone without care. He’s been behaving recently so I forgot, but Pervert (Nielsen) was a hardcore chuunibyou who suddenly attacked me on our first meeting. Leaving that chuunibyou incident aside for now, I’d better stop the fight, huh.

“Hang on, you two. Stop fighting.”
“Lady Tilea, why do you cover for this garbage?”

Nah, I mean, it’s true that this guy is a loser, but you don’t need to go as far as calling him garbage.

“Garbage, you say! Even if I look like this, I’m still the Guard Captain of this town. Back when I was an adventurer, I was even knighted you know. Do you want me to throw you in jail for disrespect!”

Aaah~ Now Loser (Bizef) is getting heated up.

“Bizef, I’ll be troubled if you throw one of our staff in jail. I’ll apologize in his stead, so won’t you forgive him?”
“Tsk. I was a bit immature as well, huh. You. I’ll forgive you this once in deference to Tilea. Watch how you speak next time!”
“Hu hu, it would affect my honor as the Camilla Unit’s Household Guard Captain if I allowed myself to be made this much of a fool by some garbage. Lady Tilea, may I have permission to clean up?”
“Still saying that, b̲a̲s̲t̲a̲r̲d̲!”

Loser (Bizef) was indignant and tried to grab Pervert (Nielsen).

“Dahhhhhh! Niel, stop that already! Bizef, please wait a moment.”

I stopped it just as it very nearly turned into a fight, and called for Pervert (Nielsen) a little distance away from Loser (Bizef).

“Niel, come here.”
“I’m not going to ask why you said that kind of thing. I already know your personality quite well, after all. But you know, it’ll trouble me if you get in the way of my strategy.”

Plan Number 2. The plan to borrow Loser (Bizef)’s authority as a guard would be ruined.

“O-, Of all things I was obstructing your strategies… M-, My deepest apologies. I had not even considered that that garbage could have been related to your battle plans.”
“It’s fine as long as you understand. Be careful next time, okay?”
“Yes milady! I shall not err a second time. And so, would it be permissible to hear the contents of the strategy so as to not obstruct you again?”
“Well, it’s just a little test. I wanted to see whether or not the Guard Captain’s strength would work on the gangsters.”
“I see. Measuring the war potential of humans, is it? As expected of Lady Tilea. To think that you have already begun planning for the war with the humans.”

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Huu~ Chuuni-esque as usual. It’s already getting tiresome to translate. For now, I’m fine as long as he doesn’t get in the way of the plan. I’ll just give him any old response.

“Well, basically.”
“However, I wonder if that garbage will be of any use. From what I can see, he does not appear strong enough to even face the Demonic Evil Three.”

Mu!? Pervert (Nielsen) hit where it hurt. That’s true. When it comes to Loser (Bizef), there’s plenty enough probability that the gangsters will scare him.

“Niel, I’ve suspected that as well. I thought of this as trying it out just in case it really did work.”
“So that is how it was. I shall abide by your will, Lady Tilea.”
“Tilea, are you done talking?”

Timing it so that it was just when I was done talking with Pervert (Nielsen), Loser (Bizef) called out to me.

“Oi, garbage! Be as useful to Lady Tilea as garbage can be, before you die!”
“W-, What was that!”

Aah~ Damn Pervert (Nielsen) at it again. Picking a fight already. He didn’t understand what I told him at all. Can’t be helped. I’ll persuade Loser (Bizef) instead.

“Bizef, Bizef, please come here for a moment.”

This time I called out to Loser (Bizef).

“That man-! I endured because I was in front of you, Tilea, but I can’t forgive him anymore!”
“Bizef, I’ll say it as many times as you want, so please forgive him.”
“But you know, Tilea…”
“Please listen, Bizef. That man is a very disappointing one. Truly, truly, disappointing… As an adult, please deal with him magnanimously.”

I told Loser (Bizef) about just what a disappointing and chuuni NEET he was. About how despite having no ability, he would bite at anybody without care like a mad dog.

“A-, A man like that actually exists?”
“He does. And even though he’s almost 60, he’s never worked a day in his life. You can understand the hardship and pain, right?”

It seems that even Loser (Bizef) was astounded. Obviously. But in my eyes, you’re quite a match for him.

“G-, Got it. There’s no way a guy like that knows how to behave as an adult. You’ve got your troubles too, huh, Tilea.”

It seems that I somehow got him to understand. Honestly, I’m already exhausted before the fight with the gangsters. This is why chuunibyou are problems without end.

“Lady Tilea, have you finished speaking?”
“Yes, we came to an understanding.”
“By the way, there is something I would like to ask you, Lady Tilea.”
“Milady. Why are you wearing such shabby equipment? Is this also part of the strategy?”
“What? You just said something I can’t overlook!”

This is bad. It’s a topic that touches Loser (Bizef)’s heartstrings. It feels like he’s going to fly into a rage again because somebody spoke badly of his collection.

“Garbage. Do not interrupt my conversation with Lady Tilea.”
“Hmph. Ignorance really is terrifying. I was a former adventurer, you know. What’s more, I was one of the ten youngest in history to be conferred a knighthood. You get it now? You don’t, do you. After all, I heard from Tilea that you were incurably stupid. But if you get too ahead of yourself, I don’t mind teaching you.”
“Garbage, do not speak any further. Lady Tilea, may I have permission to learn the details of the strategy?”
“You seriously have no idea about the value of things, so I’ll teach you. The equipment that Tilea is wearing right now are all rare items. Even with a hundred gold coins, you wouldn’t be able to buy them, you know.”

Loser (Bizef) really hates people finding fault with his collection, huh. He’s insistently arguing with Pervert (Nielsen). It seems that Pervert (Nielsen) is completely set on ignoring him. At this rate, they’ll start fighting again.

“Niel, don’t ignore him and answer.”
“Yes, milady.”

Pervert (Nielsen) turned to Loser (Bizef).

It seems that he’ll listen to me. I wish Loser (Bizef) would learn his obedience.

“Garbage, what ‘rare’. Third-rate scrap like this wouldn’t be worn even by the lowest ranking soldiers in our unit.”
“Y-, You’ve sure said it now. Then what’s ‘rare’ to you, huh?”
“The Spear of Rogo Logi, Demonic Sword Exzaibur, The Shield of Raigius for example, all splendid weapons. I have seen them only once, in the treasury in the Demon Capital.”
“Pfft-, HAH HAH HAH! I was wondering what you were going to say, but it was just ridiculous. Aren’t they all legendary mythical weapons? Listing nothing but things we aren’t even sure exist. You have head issues!”

Whoa, whoa, Loser (Bizef). That’s quite right, but you’re being too blunt. Be a little more indirect about it. And you went too far. Even if he looks like this, Pervert (Nielsen) has things he’s completely earnest about too. He kept Timu company in her games quite a bit, after all.

“Bizef, you said too much. Please don’t make fun of my employees too much.”
“Haha, sorry, sorry. When it comes to weapons, I just get a bit too passionate…”

Was Loser (Bizef) also taken about by Pervert (Nielsen)’s crazy words? The anger from just now settled down. Haah~ I wonder if they’ve made up for now.


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