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They came, quite suddenly.

“Are you the one they call the miracle-performing Saintess?”

As I was healing people’s injuries as usual, a weirdo appeared, pushing aside those waiting in line

“…I never called myself that, but I guess some people do.”

Normally, someone like that would have been quickly thrown out—but not today. On the contrary, the townspeople actively cleared a path for this weirdo to pass.
The weirdo was accompanied by three burly men in armor and helmets, and as well as a black-haired woman with a sword at her waist who stood beside him.
At first, I thought the henchmen’s intimidating presence had driven people away, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“That’s the lord…”
“Hey, the lord’s here.”
“Who the hell released that hornbag?”
“Mommy, the lord’s here!”
“Shh! Don’t look! He’ll get you pregnant!!”

…Ah, now I roughly understand what kind of person he is.

I recall Zeno-kun had rated him as a womanizer, and judging by the townspeople’s reactions, he must be quite the skirt chaser.
The so-called lord carefully observed me from head to toe. Since it was hot today and I wasn’t wearing my hood, he could look at me thoroughly.
After finishing his appraisal, the lord sighed.

“How beautiful…”
“Uh-huh, thanks. So… you’re… Pervert Mushroom, right?”
“Who’re you calling a pervert mushroom?!”

I had called him that because his hairstyle looked like a mushroom and his gaze was lewd. He glared at me furiously.

“…Would Lecher Toadstool have been better?”
“All you did was change the wording, you know?!”
“““PFFT”””
“What are you laughing at, you fools?!”
“““AHAHAHAHA”””
“You too, stop laughing over there!!”

Ah, okay. That’s a new bit unlocked. I’ll mix it up every now and then.
Setting that aside, the man turned furious for some reason. He was kicking the armored henchmen who burst out laughing, scaring the townspeople who were laughing uproariously. Only I, the lord himself, and the black-haired woman nearby who didn’t crack a smile.

“Geez, you don’t have to be so angry… I’d just address you with your name if you had introduced yourself normally. Why didn’t you do that sooner?”
“Am I to blame for this chaos?! I am Samakah Swarov! The King himself entrusted this town of Alrescha to me, for I am the lord of this town!”
“I see. I’m Argento Vampyr. So, Samakah-san, what brings you to me?”
“Argento, is it… Say, would you like to become my wife?”

…Well, that was straightforward.

Though he framed it as a question, his actions screamed “I won’t take no for an answer.” The armored men naturally positioned themselves around me, and the black-haired woman kept her finger on her sword, leaving me no chance of escape.
Pervert Mushroom, I mean, Samakah-san now advanced with a serious expression, closing the distance until his face was almost brushing my nose.
He seemed very conscious with his breath, I could faintly smell fresh herbs coming from his mouth. Even then, the lukewarm air brushing my skin felt unpleasant, making me instinctively step back. He advanced even further, and then—BAM.

“I will be gentle with you, okay…?”

Wall slam, followed by a chin lift. A shojo manga ultimate combo, executed on yours truly.

…Oh no, I don’t feel even a bit of romantic flutter.

Now I truly understand the annotation “only works with handsome guys” or “only works on people you like.” Indeed, if someone you find unpleasant did this, it would just be irritating.
Honestly, Samakah isn’t exactly ugly. At least, he’s not hideous or unpleasant to look at. The problem is his flair.
His black hair is styled stiffly into a shiny mushroom, topped with an expensive-looking feathered hat, making his face appear tiny. It almost looks like he’s the extension of his hair and hat, and not the other way around.
His outfit seems like light armor, but it’s overloaded with unnecessary decorations that throw off the balance. And somehow, the chest area is fully exposed—does he expect that to defend anything?
The classic “he thinks he looks amazing, but everyone else thinks he’s tacky” type of guy.

“Well, you see—”
“—Arje, what’s wrong?!”

Felnoute-san apparently heard the commotion and rushed out of the house, breasts bouncing boobily as she ran.
Seeing me being slammed to the wall and Samakah slamming me to the wall, she quickly understood the situation. Her gaze, laced with anger, aimed at Samakah.

“Samakah… What do you think you’re doing to her?”
“Oh dear, Felnoute-dono. It’s nothing, I simply proposed to her, is all.”
“You already have thirty-four wives, and it’s still not enough?”
“Thirty-six at the moment.”
“Even worse!!”

Would you look at that, they seem to know each other. Felnoute-san’s tone shows no politeness, just hostility.

…Thirty-six wives—that’s one hell of a harem.

He couldn’t move my heart whatsoever, but I guess there are people who’d like something like this. It’s very possible that he forced some of them to marry him, but to assume that without knowing for sure would be rude.
Samakah doesn’t flinch despite Felnoute-san’s glaring, instead shrugging as if exasperated.

“Dear me… Felnoute-dono. What about you, what are you doing in this back alley?”
“…I’m retired because I lost my sight. You should’ve known that.”
“And I’ve heard your sight is restored. If I recall correctly, His Highness himself ordered your return upon receiving that report… or am I mistaken, former Vice-Captain of the Third Brigade Royal Knight, your ladyship Felnoute-dono?”
“…Urk.”

I’m surprised. To think Felnoute-san used to serve the royalty, and held a relatively high position at that.
It explains why she’s always busy—probably running around bowing to various requests from the king, refusing orders she didn’t want to follow.
Judging by her current attitude, it’s clear to me that she’s not eager to return to her post, though she still feels some guilt over refusing the king.

That said, this situation is tricky. Felnoute-san is clearly about to be overwhelmed.
She’s earnest and takes arguments seriously, which makes her ill-suited for verbal disputes like this..
Samakah, on the other hand, seems very experienced. He’s speaking very calmly. He’s so great at spinning his yarn that the words he said to Felnoute-san sounded more like advice than confrontation.
Zeno-kun mentioned that Alrescha is a crucial port town for the country’s trade. Since Samakah is in charge, he must be competent at verbal skills.
Even if he has poor taste and likes women, he must be capable in politics and economics to be entrusted with such an important location.
Battle-type versus politics-type. They’re experts of completely different fields, and the current fight is on Samakah’s turf. Felnoute-san clearly has no chance.
Going against someone on their own turf… she’s really earnest, isn’t she?

…Geez, what do I do now?

Focusing on my sense of smell, the strongest people present are Felnoute-san and Samakah’s black-haired female attendant. I smelled their blood, and Blood Reading told me the rest.
Seeing Felnoute-san is currently taking my side, she isn’t exactly an obstacle, so escaping from this place isn’t impossible.
But doing so would likely cause trouble. Samakah’s the lord of this town, and Felnoute-san might be held responsible for the mess I’d make.
Furthermore, Samakah is the only one whose blood I can’t smell, so I can’t gauge his true strength.
A sweet smell was coming off his body. It’s probably just perfume, then again, the smell is so strong it’s masking the scent of his blood. He’s definitely put on too much of the stuff.
I might be able to tell his strength if my Enhanced Smell skill was at a higher level. Unfortunately, it stayed at level 1.
Without knowing his true strength, his threat level is uncertain, so acting rashly would be dangerous.

“…Why don’t we all calm down and talk for a bit? You know, like having some tea together.”
“Ah, that’s good! Argento, I will invite you to my mansion. Let’s talk leisurely there and get to know each other.”
“A-, Arje?!”
“It’s fine, Felnoute-san. We’re just going for tea.”

Leaving things as they are would only end badly. Following his invitation is probably the safest option.
Better to deal with this quickly than let it drag on. If there’s business to handle, I’d rather finish it first and take a nap later.

“…You won’t easily be seduced with three meals, naps, and snacks, right?”
“…………”
“Answer that immediately, please?!”

I mean, if he actually tried that, I’d probably waver quite a bit