|Author: The Sole Survivor||Original Source: SFACG|
|Translator: CatatoPatch||English Source: Re:Library|
“Save… save me… will someone please save me…”
I yelled frantically as I ran across the field like an F-list actor trying to steal the show. Yet I really could not be blamed here; the supposedly villainous bandits who were supposed to be viciously pursuing me seemed even more out of character than me.
“Hey, can’t you guys act any better?!” I finally stopped in my tracks and glared at them. “How are you guys even bandits? Is this how you plan on robbing me? Can you not embarrass your profession any further?”
“But milady… we…”
“What milady? How am I a lady?” I pointed right at the bandit leader’s nose and yelled. “I’m a man. A bonafide, 100% pure man. Got it?”
“But milady…” The bandit leader immediately blurted out without even considering. “No matter how I look at you, you are a lady.”
“Then would you like a new pair of eyes?”
“No, no, no… You are clearly a man, sire… but…” The bandit leader meekly lowered his head in defeat and said, “We’re no longer bandits… and we don’t dare to rob you in the first place…”
“Oh? So you’re saying you would rather die than help me act out this scene?” Having said that, I coldly laughed.
Seeing my mood sour right away, the bandit leader immediately knew what I wanted to say. He promptly barked a response, “I’m willing! I’m willing to do anything!”
“Very good. The two of them are about to arrive so I have no more time for you guys to rehearse. Remember to act fiercer, and I don’t mean the parent scolding a kid kind either.” The bandit leader nodded obediently at my words, earning him a look of approval right away. “Alright. Just remember, act like how you usually do when you’re robbing someone and you will do fine.”
“Like how we usually do…” The bandit leader mumbled to himself before saying, “But… we just started this occupation…”
“What the heck, you’re not fooling anyone at this point. Let me tell you, what I see right now is a complete scumbag of a bandit!” I had to hand it to that bandit leader, even at this stage of the game, he’s still trying to weasel his way out of punishment. As if I was ever going to believe him after that practised show of attempted unsanctioned fornication!
I swear… some people…
Realising that I was displeased again, the bandit leader promptly lowered his head and said no more.
“Fine, if you can’t do the job right, I will just have to finish you off right now.” I deliberately channelled my mana slowly in front of him. “Actually, I’ll just let you suffer a fate worse than death.”
“Sire… I was wrong, I’ll get right to robbing you immediately… I will make sure those louts are properly trained and ready for their roles as bandits!”
“Alright, your lives are in your hands right now, so do your job well.” I patted him one last time on the shoulders before starting to run in the direction of Nicole’s arrival, arms stretched out in the classical running away pose. “Save me… bandits are attacking me… Oh, will someone please save me…”
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“Boss, what should we do?” One of the bandits who had been acting unconscious not too long ago ran up to the bandit leader and asked quietly.
“What do you mean what should we do? Chase him, of course!” The bandit leader slapped the head of that silly bandit then ,under the stunned eyes of his subordinates, yelled. “Girl, you’re not going anywhere! You’re coming home with daddy today! Hahahaha…”
Yet while he might have been shouting at the top of his lungs, his feet weren’t going anywhere at all…
Confused by his actions, one of the bandits asked, “Boss, why aren’t you chasing him?”
“I should ask you lot that question too! Who’s the boss here?! Don’t tell me you expect your leader to lead the charge?” Another swift slap to the head of the bandit, then without giving it more thought, he kicked a few of the bandits. “Go on, be quick about it!”
Finally, the bandits began chasing after me, though they were all still deathly afraid of me.
“Stop running… you had better stop right now or else…” The bandits yelled in a tone that was obviously more bark than bite.
Initially, the bandits had assumed that this bit of shoddy work would be enough to get the job done, but someone else clearly had something to say to that. A cold shiver immediately ran down the spines of the bandits. The bandit leader, being a decent fighter at Four-star, could tell right away where this killing intent was coming from. He turned his head in the direction of the forest and came face to face with a Regine whose face was even scarier than the aura she emanated…
It was at that point that the bandit leader knew this was no time for fooling around. At this rate, someone was really going to die. With that in mind, he turned towards the lackluster actors that were his subordinates and bellowed, “You lot. I want to hear more oomph ub your shouts, show some of that bandit spirit!”
To which the bandits couldn’t help but give their leader a wronged look. Even so, the bandit leader could only sigh before reprimanding them once more, “What’s with that lack of energy?! Are you guys sick of living? Don’t forget that there’s still something crawling in our bellies!”
“…” It was at that point that the bandits finally realised how desperate their current situation was. They finally gathered up their spirits and chased after me in earnest. “Capture that harlot! She’s mine tonight!”
Now that’s more like it! That’s how a bandit should act. But don’t think I’ve forgotten how you guys tried to sabotage me just now. Once I’ve infiltrated Nicole’s little band, you guys are next.
Seeing as the actors were finally all in place, I ran towards the direction of Nicole’s arrival as planned. As I did so, I cried for help just like before.
Slowly trotting ahead on their horses, it didn’t take long before Nicole and Neneth spotted me. Nicole’s expression was as frigid as the rumors would have me believe. In contrast, Neneth was more intrigued by the whole scene and had even stopped to watch while munching on her bread.
“Save me please… there’s some bandits chasing me…” I pretended to plead for Nicole’s aid, doing my best to act like a desperate noble as per the plan.
Even though I was beside myself with excitement right now at having met Nicole after so many years, I knew that she wouldn’t recognise me even if I said anything right now. If I were to reveal my identity as Mo Ke now, she might even treat me as a Devil and just slice me up. Even after all this time, I still hadn’t forgotten that time when the Demon Hunters had me cornered in my own home. The fact that Nicole had become a Demon Hunter must have had something to do with that…
“That blasted wench can really run!” Seeing that I had hid myself behind Nicole’s white horse, the bandit leader finally arrived on the scene, panting along with his other subordinates. They slowly formed a circle around us. “There’s two more pretty girls now. Good, I want them all rounded up. Meat’s back on the menu again, boys!”
“Woooo!!” The bandits cheered rapturously.
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Seeing my last-minute hires pull their weight for once, I was at last relieved… But why are those potatoes just standing there? Go on. Charge at them so they have no time to think!
I winked at the bandit leader from the safety behind Nicole’s horse. Threatened, the bandit leader had no choice but to take the next step.
“Ahem.” The bandit leader cleared his throat in response to my wink, at which point the other bandits promptly shut up. The bandit leader nodded his head in satisfaction then swung his blade in the same manner he did when we first met. “You know what, all I want is that woman hiding behind you two. Stay out of this matter or someone’s going to get hurt!”
Finally, under the threat of the bandit leader, Nicole spoke for the first time ever, her voice cold and mature at the same time. “You want her?”
Ah… I still remember when she used to be a little girl. Now look at her. All grown up and beautiful… my Nicole’s the best!
“That’s right. We only want her. If you know what’s good for you, you will immediately turn around and leave.”
Kukuku. Like my gentle, kind-hearted Nicole would ever abandon me to a bunch of bandits. All I need to do now is wait for her to step forward, defeat the bandits, and save me from those dastardly villains!
Unfortunately, I was soon to be proven disappointed. She did not help me as I had expected. Instead, she turned around to address Neneth who was still munching on her bread, “Neneth, we’re leaving.”
“Ehh? Aren’t we saving her?”
“There’s no need.” She said then got ready to ride without even waiting for Neneth to respond.
Me on the verge of mental collapse: …
The bandits on the verge of mental collapse but for different reasons: …
Wait. What happened to the kind-hearted girl savior I was promised? There’s no way my Nicole would ever be so cold-hearted.
Even the bandits were shocked by this turn of events at this point, let alone Neneth.
I quickly winked at the bandit leader once more, signalling for him to try and rescue this scene. If I couldn’t join their party now, those fools only had one fate waiting for them: death.
Noticing the blame in my eyes, the bandit leader broke out into cold sweat but managed to stammer out a question, “You… aren’t you going to stop us?”
Nicole eyed the man for a second then coldly said, “No.”
“Just because we look all fierce and tough doesn’t mean we’re strong. Actually, we’re really weak…”
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“Look at that girl behind you, she’s so pretty. If we capture her, she’s in for a world of pain… we…” The bandit leader was practically crying at this point under my withering gaze. “If we get our hands on her, we will make her do this… and this… don’t you want to prevent another tragedy from happening in this world?”
“That’s right, sister Nicole. Neneth finds that beautiful sister over there really pitiful as well.” Neneth stopped munching on her bread to unhappily pout in my direction. “Isn’t it a pity for such a beautiful lady to be made to do that… and that…”
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