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I might just be the kind of person who’s hopelessly devoted. I had been attracted to her for as long as I can remember, and having been together from elementary to high school, I couldn’t make myself walk away anymore.

There’s definitely something to the whole “love makes you weak” idea. Even though I knew there was no way she’d ever return my feelings, I couldn’t stop myself from looking after her, even now that we were adults. If she’d been even a little more capable, maybe I could’ve put some distance between us. But she was the kind of person who seemed like she’d just let herself waste away without me, so I couldn’t exactly cut her off. The thought of confessing and ruining everything, maybe even losing her completely, felt way too risky—like it could actually endanger her. That’s why I’d never taken that step.

The woman I’d fallen for, Yamagami Ibuki, was my childhood friend. We’d been born in the same hospital and grown up together. She’d been a sickly kid, so I’d looked after her way too much, to the point of being overprotective. Because of that, she’d gotten used to relying on me for everything, and now she was basically hopeless when it came to taking care of herself.

Once we graduated college and started working, I got into the habit of going over to her place more than half the week to handle her chores. If I skipped even a couple of days, she’d turn her apartment into a total disaster zone. I had only myself to blame for how she turned out, so I felt like it was my responsibility to keep cleaning up after her.

At some point, I found out Ibuki worked as a ‘weetoober’ or something and made enough money to live in a way nicer place than I did. Her apartment was ridiculously big for one person, which made cleaning a pain, but after spending so much time there, even that started to feel normal.

Most people probably wouldn’t want to spend their lives playing caretaker for a childhood friend, but for me—someone who’d been in love with her forever—just being around her made me happy. Even if nothing ever changed between us, I figured I’d be fine with things staying exactly the same, as long as I could stay by her side.

But the moment that ended up changing everything came out of nowhere, without any warning at all.

“Hey, Yukino.”
“What, Ibuki? If you’re thinking about changing tonight’s dinner, it’s way too late.”
“It’s not about that.”

I was busy prepping dinner in Ibuki’s unnecessarily large kitchen when she leaned over the counter and started talking to me.

“What do you think would happen if I told my stream I had a girlfriend?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never watched your videos, so how would I know what people would say… Wait. Hold on. What did you just say?”
“I asked what would happen if I told them I had a girlfriend.”

It was just another typical Friday night at Ibuki’s place, same as always, but then she dropped that bomb out of nowhere.

“H-Huh?! You have a girlfriend?!”
“Nope.”
“Then why are you even bringing this up?!”
“One of my friends from another agency confessed to me. I was just wondering what it’d be like if I said yes.”

Completely oblivious to my feelings, Ibuki said it like it was nothing, leaving me to deal with the emotional whiplash.

“What it’d be like? Well… I don’t really know much about your work, so I can’t say for sure. But at the very least, you’d have to start handling all your chores on your own.”
“Wait, why would dating someone mean I’d have to do that?”
“Because if you’re calling her your girlfriend, that means she’s a girl, right?”
“Yeah, obviously.”

Ibuki’s complete lack of experience with relationships really showed sometimes. It didn’t even occur to her how this might come across.

“Look, if it were me, and my partner had some childhood friend—a girl, no less—coming over multiple times a week to cook, clean, and sometimes stay the night, I’d feel super uncomfortable. Since I’d never want to put someone else in that position, if you start dating her, you won’t be able to have me around like this anymore.”

Even as I said it, the words felt like a gut punch. I’d always known this day would come eventually, and I’d told myself I was ready for it. But hearing Ibuki talk about dating someone made it so much harder than I’d imagined. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I could really celebrate it if it happened. I’d probably just fake it and disappear to my parents’ place for a while.

“That’s a problem. If I can’t eat your cooking, I’ll die.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Look, someday you’re going to find someone you love, and maybe I’ll get married too. It’s better if you start learning to do things on your own now.”
“That day’s never coming. I’m going to eat your cooking for the rest of my life.”
“…Wait, are you saying…”

Was this one of those “you’ll make me miso soup every morning” kind of proposals?

“If you get married, I’ll just become your daughter. Mama Yukino.”
“I’m not your mom! Ugh, I can’t believe I even let myself hope for a second!”

Why on earth did I fall for someone like Ibuki? Sure, she had a good face—good enough that people kept confessing to her left and right. Every single time, I’d pretend I didn’t care, like I was fine with whatever she did. But inside, I’d be panicking, wondering if someone was finally going to take her away.

Not that Ibuki was ever “mine” to begin with, so calling it “taking her away” didn’t even make sense… but still.

“Maybe it’s time I started looking for someone to make me happy… Should I try speed dating or something?”
“Isn’t it a little early to start freaking out about that?”
“Easy for you to say, Ibuki. You’re cute, probably loaded, and don’t have to worry about this stuff. But me? Just an average girl with an average face and not much going for her. My grandma always said you’ve got to snag a good guy while you’re still young.”

Sure, her thinking was a little outdated, but let’s be honest—she wasn’t entirely wrong. It’s not like I had any amazing qualities to fall back on.

“Yukino, you’re cute, though.”
“Guh.”

No, you’re the cute one! Hearing her say that with such a straight face, tilting her head like that, felt way too genuine to just brush off.

“…Fine. Guess I’ll make one extra side dish for your fridge.”
“Yay! More Yukino food!”

For someone so skinny, Ibuki could seriously pack it away. Even if I prepped a week’s worth of meals, she’d clear it all out in just two or three days. It was a ton of work, but watching her dig in so happily made it impossible to say no. Especially since, well, I was hopelessly in love with her.

“Honestly, you’re such a glutton.”
“Not my fault your cooking’s too good!”
“Yeah, yeah… Oh, by the way, I got invited to a mixer on Sunday. I said no at first, but maybe I’ll go after all. Is it cool if I stop by on Monday instead of Sunday?”
“Eh? No way!”
“You heard me earlier, right? Look, I can’t stay single forever. I need to start putting myself out there.”

And honestly, I needed to get over this ridiculous one-sided crush. I couldn’t stay stuck like this.

“Why do you even want a boyfriend so bad?”
“I mean, come on… I’m a girl too, you know? It’d be nice to have someone who loves me, someone I can hang out with, be affectionate with—”
“Affectionate how?”
“Uh… I don’t know, like hugs?”
“And?”
“Head pats, maybe? Why are you asking me this?”
“Alright, hug incoming.”

Before I could even figure out what was happening, Ibuki was right in front of me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into her chest like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Wha—?! H-Hey!”
“And next, head pats. There, there.”

She held me tighter, one hand stroking my hair while she added a cheek nuzzle for good measure. I couldn’t even think straight—my brain was short-circuiting.

“So? Satisfied now?”
“Satisfied…? Wait, what?”
“Is your whole boyfriend thing sorted out?”
“Uh… Actually, I think it just got worse…”

I thought we were just close friends, and I’d been trying so hard to keep it that way. But this? This kind of sudden, affectionate attack? It made me want so much more.

“What? I already gave you what you wanted! Hmph, now what am I supposed to do?”

Ibuki pouted, puffing out her cheeks in annoyance. Meanwhile, I was in full-on meltdown mode. My face was buried in the soft chest of a girl I liked one-sidedly, her hands were still on my head, and my heart was about ready to explode. Overwhelmed, I just let myself sink into her warmth until my brain shut down entirely.

That night, I’m pretty sure I had the sweetest dream of my entire life.

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