As soon as Rinka slid open the door to the private room, I froze.

It wasn’t a round table like I expected, but a long picnic-style table that could probably seat eight at most.

The room was barely any larger than the table itself—honestly, the door was practically the same width as the whole room.

There was just a finger’s width of space between the table and the sliding panel. If you wanted to switch seats, you’d have to open the door again.

Still, the spot furthest inside gave a decent view of the pedestrian street through a glass wall, and the black reflective panels on both sides of the booth helped make it feel less cramped.

These bite-sized private rooms are pretty common in Japanese or Korean restaurants, but it was my first time seeing one in a Sichuan place.

Probably a result of this commercial area being so prime—every square foot counts. Having big round-table banquet rooms just wouldn’t be efficient.

But it wasn’t the cramped room that stunned me.

It was who was already inside.

There were four people already seated on the cushioned benches lining either side of the table. I thought it would just be Sis Fei and Xiao Lei, but no—Lei Meow Meow and Sis Xi were here too, and they were wearing the same summer uniform from the girls campus.

Back when my cover hadn’t been blown, Sis Yuanyue had mentioned sending them to Biyang Girls’ Academy to study with me. I didn’t think she’d actually go through with it, but here we were. She was now literally a school idol.

“You’re so late, big a̲s̲s̲h̲o̲l̲e̲!”

That “school idol” tossed her image out the window, scowling from her seat by the door on the right. She had one leg casually crossed over the other, arms spread along the backrest like she owned the place, loud and cocky like the gang boss she used to be.

“The great and mighty divine emissary is actually the musclehead pervert? Tell me, you compulsive liar—how much have you really been hiding from us, huh?”

She curled her lip with a delinquent sneer, full-on Yankee mode activated.

Rinka helped me into the seat beside Meow Meow. As soon as I sat, she moved like she was going to throw an arm around my neck, but halfway in, she changed her mind and shoved me away instead. Her sharp cat-like eyes shot me a look of pure disdain.

“Tch. As if I’d let you get that lucky.”

“…You smell nice. Did you wear perfume?”

“No sniffing! Hold your breath!”

“Now that’s just unreasonable.” What, am I supposed to suffocate?

When I talked back, she reached out and pinched a chunk of skin from my waist, twisting hard. I sucked in a breath in pain.

I mean seriously, what kind of grown man fights like this?

Lei Meow Meow was straying further and further down the path of femininity… At this point, there was barely a trace of the old Lei Laohu left.

Sis Xi was sitting just past Meow Meow, head resting on her hand, eyes blinking at me like she was silently demanding an explanation. No greeting, no yelling—just patient, expectant silence.

“Alright, let’s all calm down. Things might not be exactly what they seem.”

Before Rinka could explain, a head of bright red hair peeked through the door—it was Zhao Zhao, who strolled in like nothing ever happened and plopped down beside me.

There was more space across the table, but with Fei exuding her usual icy aura, even a maniacal pervert like Zhao Zhao didn’t dare sit next to her. Nobody wants to freeze to death over dinner.

Still, with this many beautiful “girls” in one room, the big guy was clearly enjoying himself.

“Wow, Commander, this feels like a mixer!”

Unbelievable. He knows all of these “girls” were actually guys, and he’s still unbothered?

Even Meow Meow looked stunned. She stared at him, wide-eyed. SisXi looked surprised too—the only one who stayed totally poker-faced was Ice Queen Fei. She just nodded politely at Zhao Zhao and went right back to flipping through her book:

《Five Years of College Entrance Exams, Three Years of Mock Tests》

…Of course. Fei never slacks.

“Waiter~ You can bring out the food now~”

After folding up the wheelchair, Rinka waved down the server and finally took her seat next to Fei.

“What?” Meow Meow looked between Xiao Lei and Zhao Zhao in total confusion. “But she literally admitted it just now!”

Admitted it?

My eyes snapped to Xiao Lei, who was sitting in the far corner across from me. She turned her head away, pretending to watch the people outside on the street, trying to dodge my glare. But her hand was still sneaking peanuts from the plate on the table, popping them into her mouth.

Yeah, of course she didn’t dare meet my eyes.

I’d warned her repeatedly not to go out, and what does she do? Sneaks into the girls’ campus, gets caught by Rinka and Lei Meow Meow, and then admits she’s actually Zhao Zhao? The only saving grace is that she didn’t blurt out the whole body double thing. There was still room to salvage this mess.

“So, Kai-chan,” Rinka rested her chin in her hand and smirked, “what story are you going to make up today?”

Wow. She’d already assumed I was lying before I said a single word. That’s how low my trust rating is now, huh?

It wasn’t just Rinka. Meow Meow and Sis Xi probably didn’t believe me either.

Man, being me is tragic. I’m like the boy who cried wolf—except worse. Because this time, I really am going to lie.

“As you all know, Xiao Lei is the divine emissary. But she’s also… Zhao Zhao’s cousin.”

“Yeah, that’s right. My little cousin’s caused you all some trouble,” Zhao Zhao added smoothly.

Even with the extra audience today, our cover story still held.

“Cousin?” Tian Xi looked at Xiao Lei, who nodded enthusiastically.

She might be a little slow, but she wasn’t dumb. She knew what was at stake here.

Then—wham!—Lei Meow Meow slapped the table, making Xiao Lei jump and scatter her peanuts.

“Then why’d you say you were Zhao Zhao earlier?!”

Xiao Lei clearly didn’t have an answer ready. I stepped in quickly, raising my hand.

“That was my idea—”

“Shut it, big a̲s̲s̲h̲o̲l̲e̲!”

Before I could finish, Lei Meow Meow cut me off with a bark, and I wilted back into silence.

It’s common knowledge that peanuts are rich in lysine, and lysine helps with brain function. So now, Xiao Lei could only rely on peanuts to power her improv.

“Well, being the divine emissary is kind of… sensitive. If I told the truth, it would’ve caused trouble. But if I borrowed my cousin’s name, I could ask Sis Rinka for a uniform without outing myself.”

“Huh. Not a bad excuse.”

But Meow Meow wasn’t done. She pulled Zhao Zhao’s iPhone out of her pocket, opened the photo gallery, and dropped it on the table.

“Uwah!”

Sis Xi leaned over for a peek—and immediately let out a surprised squeak.

“And how do you explain this photo?”

Xiao Lei glanced down, panicked, and tried to grab the phone. But Meow Meow held her back with one hand to the face, easily keeping her at bay while the latter flailed.

“Uwaaaa! Don’t let Commander see that!!”

“…What photo?”

I blinked, confused. Zhao Zhao, however, slapped his forehead like he’d just remembered something.

“Ohhh. Looks like Chang Kai here hasn’t seen it yet.”

Meow Meow nudged the phone over to me with a devilish grin.

One look, and my face went through a full Beijing opera mask change—red to black to white in seconds.

The photo showed the plush bed in Rinka’s secret base. Wrapped in a bath towel, Xiao Lei was clinging to me like a sea creature, her face flushed, eyes half-lidded with embarrassment. Her head rested on my chest, like she was listening to my heartbeat.

“Uwaaaa! You idiot! What the hell were you doing?!”

It was from two days ago—when I was bathing using the body double.

“Well, technically you were asleep,” Lei Meow Meow said with a wicked smirk. “But seriously, how deep can you sleep? A girl gets that handsy and you just snore through it? You were totally faking.”

Rinka, on the other hand, looked genuinely offended.

“Kai-chan, are you using my secret base as your personal love hotel? Have you no shame?!”

WHAT?! I’m still a proud virgin, thank you very much!

Then she muttered under her breath, “I haven’t even gotten that far yet… I’m so jealous.”

…Huh?

Zhao Zhao swiftly grabbed the phone, deleted all the offending photos, and tucked it away with a sigh.

“I let you borrow my phone for emergencies—not to take those kinds of pictures.”

A clear save. And a plausible reason why Xiao Lei had his phone in the first place.

“Like you’d understand how I feel, you muscle-brained gorilla. You get to see Commander every day! I only see him once in a blue moon—of course I wanted a keepsake!”

That was Xiao Lei talking, but her face was nowhere in sight.

She was curled up in her seat, hiding under the table out of embarrassment. From where I sat, I couldn’t even see her—just the occasional hand popping up to grab more peanuts.

Right then, the server rolled in with a cart and brought out seven cold dishes at once.

The moment the plates hit the table and the delicious aroma wafted out, Xiao Lei shot out from under the table like a spring.

“Time to eat?!”