| Translator: | Author: | Original Source: |
| MJCross | Cat’s Glasses | SFACG |
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Shock? Surprise? Words alone couldn’t quite capture what I was feeling at this moment.
Lei Laohu—the brute who could punch through concrete walls—was planning to debut as an idol? And even holding a concert in this bar? Are you kidding me?!
I guessed—rather maliciously—that maybe she had burned through all the money she took from his mom and was now making ends meet by singing for the bar owner.
But if she were just a warm-up act, there wouldn’t be posters advertising it as a solo concert. The bar owner even went out of his way to promote it. Could it be that they actually saw potential in her as a future star?
That was just my speculation, though. To confirm it, I decided to play dumb and casually asked Tian Xi, “Whose concert is it? Don’t tell me it’s your big bro, Lei Laohu?”
Munching on another crispy fried squid ring, she hesitated. “Even if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it.”
“Well, how would you know unless you actually tell me?”
She closed her eyes, chewing on a piece of fried fish, her brows furrowed in an inner struggle. In the end, she just shook her head. “No, I can’t. It’s too hard to say.”
Thinking from her perspective, I could understand. It wasn’t exactly an easy topic to bring up.
Imagine waking up one day as a woman and having to admit to someone you barely know—someone who might even be considered an enemy—“Hey, so just two days ago, I was a dude.” Any normal person would either think you’d lost your mind or discreetly dial the nearest psych ward.
“Then what about my companion? Where is she? Can I see her?”
Lei Laohu might have turned into a woman, but his underlings were still a gang of rough, hot-blooded men. I was genuinely worried about what they might do to Xiao Lei.
Tian Xi waved a hand dismissively. “Didn’t I just say she’s with my big bro? Don’t worry about her. We under Lei Laohu’s proper guidance strictly adhere to the principle of never laying a hand on a woman.”
Oh? Then what was that full-body lock you pulled on me in the women’s restroom just now?!
She must’ve caught onto my skeptical expression because she flexed her fingers with a smirk. “Well, I’m an exception… since I’m a woman too.”
She crossed her arms, her forearms lifting her considerable assets. Maybe she was just trying to relieve some shoulder strain, but from where I was sitting, the only thing I felt was pressure.
“Ah, that principle again.” I recalled how Lei Laohu had seemed genuinely lost after punching me under the assumption I was a girl.
And honestly, after witnessing Tian Xi’s current proportions, I highly doubted those thugs would be interested in Xiao Lei’s humble figure.
Noticing my gaze, Tian Xi smirked knowingly. She deliberately squeezed her arms inward, making her chest surge like ocean waves.
“You know, Lingmeng-chan, you’re really flat-chested, huh? Is that why you wear men’s clothes all the time? No confidence in your figure? That won’t do—you gotta drink more milk and grow up fast! At least get to half of what I’ve got!”
ぶよ~ぶよ~
Excuse me?! Lingmeng-chan? Wasn’t she calling me a b̲i̲t̲c̲h̲ just a while ago?! Where did this sudden familiarity come from? And what’s with that teasing tone?!
Speaking of which, she still thinks that I’m a girl, is she flexing on me? Look, I wear men’s clothes because I’m a dude, okay?! And those huge assets of yours? Not the result of drinking milk, I guarantee you!
In fact, Dream-Limited Girl Chang Kaizi’s legendary chest could completely overshadow yours! Don’t get cocky, cow!
Breasts are just relics of primitive human evolution—nothing more than missile racks!
I could feel a vein popping on my forehead.
But if I revealed my true gender now, I might be facing more than just a beating. No matter how much turmoil was brewing inside me, I had to maintain the act and respond with a smiling face.
“Ahaha, Sis Xi, your figure is really something to envy! Any secret techniques you could teach me?”
What envy?! I have nothing to envy!
“Huh? Secret techniques?” My question caught her off guard. Having only been a woman for two days, she obviously had zero expertise to share. “Well… I mostly just, you know, grew naturally. But if I had to say something… maybe drinking cola?”
Screw your fizzy sugar water! That’s definitely your secret technique for turning into a Mohawk Fatso!
Having stuffed herself with fried food while chatting, her gaze eventually wandered over to the two untouched cocktails on the table.
My Blue Margarita was already half-finished, but Xiao Lei’s St. Valentine had barely been touched—she had only taken a tiny taste earlier, likely leaving behind some traces of saliva.
“Is this… juice?”
“It’s a cocktail.” I shrugged. “Originally meant for my companion, but she won’t be drinking it now. If you want it, go ahead.”
Hah! Drink Xiao Lei’s backwash, you cow!
“Hmm, smells sweet. Probably low in alcohol, right?”
Don’t let the scent fool you! The alcohol might be masked, but cocktails pack a punch—that’s why the glasses are so small. Even the so-called “low-alcohol” ones Haitang mentioned were only “low” compared to other cocktails.
“Cocktails still have some kick to them, but one this small shouldn’t get you drunk.”
I had assumed that someone like Tian Xi, a rough-and-tumble street punk, would have plenty of drinking experience. But to my surprise, after hearing my words, she actually hesitated.
Instead of grabbing the glass, she leaned in and examined the pink St. Valentine cocktail as if she wanted to try it but was unsure.
…Could it be? Is she actually terrible at handling alcohol?
“Just a tiny sip!” She was talking to herself, psyching herself up.
To avoid getting her hair in the drink, she tucked a few strands of her dark locks behind her ear, revealing the pale curve of her neck. Then, she leaned in, pressing her soft, rosy lips against the rim of the glass and carefully took the smallest sip—so small, in fact, that the liquid level in the glass barely moved.
“Huh? This tastes really good! Way better than beer!”
No kidding! Of course, cocktails taste better than beer! Go say that in front of the bartender and watch as she cracks your skull open, shakes your brains in a cocktail mixer, and serves it as a “special blend.”
But wow—her alcohol tolerance was tragic. Just that tiny sip, and she was already flushing red. How was that even possible?
“If you can’t handle alcohol, why not just order a non-alcoholic drink?” I suggested.
“This much is fine! Look at me, I’m not even drunk!”
Ah, classic. The number one thing drunk people always say.
She took another sip—this time a little bigger than the last.
“I never knew alcohol could taste this good! Too bad I can’t drink much…”
“Then stop drinking before you get drunk! If you do, I’m gonna bolt.”
It was just an offhand remark, but upon further reflection, maybe that was actually a solid escape plan?
“Lingmeng-chan, you really don’t get it! This is a bar! What’s the point of coming here if you don’t drink?!”
Her eyes were hazy with warmth, her cheeks a rosy pink from the alcohol, and with the way she swayed slightly, she exuded a peculiar kind of allure.
Oh no. She’s already drunk. After two tiny sips of a cocktail. Is this some kind of joke?
“Ahh, it’s so hot~ Lingmeng-chan, aren’t you hot too?” she murmured, unbuttoning the top two buttons of her white blouse—revealing a deep, bottomless canyon of cleavage.
I suddenly felt a little thirsty… Wait, is this the infamous “drunk and disorderly” mode?!
Then, to make things worse, she stumbled over and sat next to me, clutching my right arm.
It’s a black hole! My arm is about to get sucked into the abyss!
“Sis Xi! You need to have some decency! Why are you sitting so close?!”
“So you don’t run away, duh! Aww, Lingmeng-chan, your face is red too~ How cute! We’re both girls here, what’s there to be shy about~?”
Strictly speaking— there is NOT EVEN ONE GIRL HERE!
“Mmm, this one tastes good too.”
As she spoke, she reached over and took a sip of my Blue Margarita. Stop drinking! If you keep going, I’m in all sorts of danger!
“I swear, I’m not running anywhere! Just let go of me…”
Though it looks deceiving, I’m still a guy! If this continues, Little Chang Kai is going to enter Super Charged Mode—no, it’s already in Super Charged Mode!
“Aww, why do you sound just like a boy? Wanna do something fun with big sis~?”
As she spoke, her fingertips had already reached the third button of her blouse.
Panic mode: activated.
I grabbed her wrist before she could go any further. “Sis Xi, this isn’t appropriate! Even if this is a bar, it’s still a public place!”
She shook me off and burst into laughter, patting me on the back—with her greasy hands.
She was just eating all that fried food! Now my back is covered in oil!
“What are you getting all flustered for? I was just messing with you! I’m not that kind of woman… er… woman?”
Mid-sentence, she froze. The drunken haze in her eyes turned glassy, and suddenly, tears welled up.
Oh crap, why does she look like she’s about to cry?!
“No… that’s not right… I’m not a woman… Lingmeng-chan, do you believe in fate? Or curses?”
Her voice trembled slightly.
“What if I told you… just two days ago, I was still a man? Would you believe me?”





















































































