Without thinking, I nodded along.

I wanted to say, What kind of joke is this?—but Yarai-san’s eyes were dead serious.

No way I could brush it off with a laugh or some excuse.

“I–Is it really okay!?”

Because I’d said yes, she had totally misunderstood.

Her eyes sparkled, practically shouting how happy she was.

“It’s not okay! It’s definitely not okay!”
“…It’s not?”

Her voice dropped, deflated. Somehow it felt like I was the bad guy here.

But no. I couldn’t let myself get swept up and give in out of pity. What did it even mean, to go out?

There was no reason to break up with Shouya just to start dating Yarai-san.

Even if I didn’t have a boyfriend, dating her wouldn’t exactly be the natural next option.

“Hold on, Yarai-san, just calm down a second. Do you even realize what you’re saying?”
“That you should dump your boyfriend and switch to me.”

So she did know. She knew, and she still said it. Which only made it worse.

“Wait, what? Are you into stealing people away or something?”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Then… do you like me?”
“…I wonder, do I?”

Seriously? Why was she asking me? Like I’d know what was going on in her head.

She started thinking it over with this grim expression, like the question was impossibly difficult. Was it really?

You either like someone, don’t like them, or you’re indifferent. That’s basically it.

Yet there she was, groaning to herself, as if she had a hundred different possible answers lined up.

“…Hey, Kaidou-san, is school fun for you?”
“Huh?”

Where the hell did that come from? Not only was she answering a question with a question, but it was totally out of left field.

“You’ve always got people around you, right? Mostly from our class, but sometimes kids from the class next door too.”
“And what about it?”
“This is just my impression, but… you don’t really look like you’re enjoying yourself.”
“That’s not…”

*True,* I wanted to say. But I couldn’t.

Because yes, there were times when I found all that noise annoying.

But more than that…

Why had Yarai-san been watching me so closely that she could read my feelings like that?

“I know I can’t really read the room, and I’m not good at fitting in with people… But I can kind of tell what someone’s thinking.”
“…Like that time you stopped me from being kissed—was that why?”
“Yeah. You looked like you didn’t want it. Of course, it was just a hunch. If I’d been wrong, it would’ve only caused more trouble.”
“…Okay, but let’s say—hypothetically—I really hadn’t wanted to kiss Shouya back then. What did it matter to you to stop it? I don’t see what benefit you’d get.”
“Benefit? I stopped it before something happened that would’ve hurt you. That’s the benefit.”
“That’s exactly what I mean! You ‘saved’ me, but what’s in it for you? Don’t tell me you get off on helping people. If that’s the case—”

*It’s an unwelcome favor*. God, that’s harsh of me. But once I started talking, I couldn’t stop.

“I just… don’t want you making that face. You know, how you usually look a little older than your age, always kind of bored, but then sometimes you smile and it’s really girly and cute… When I saw that face twist in pain, I couldn’t help but step in.”

My voice died in my throat.

Because if she meant that—if that was really how she felt—

“…Yarai-san, do you actually like me?”

She watched me all the time, tried to protect me from things I hated.

If she didn’t like me after all that, then she really was out of her mind.

“Maybe I do?”
“No, come on, at least be aware of your own feelings.”
“I’ve always thought you were cute.”
“You even complained when I cut my hair.”
“I take it back! You’re cute now too!”
“Smooth talker, aren’t you.”

Well… so that was it.

If she really did like me, that explained a lot of her recent weirdness—or at least it kind of did.

At the very least, it meant she hadn’t kissed me for no reason, and that alone made me feel a little better.

Of course, it raised another question: why me?

“So… what do you think?”
“About what?”
“About going out with me.”
“Oh… wait, no, no, no, absolutely not!”

I waved my hands frantically, exaggerating the motion almost as much as she would.

I mean, come on, seriously?

“I have a boyfriend, you know.”
“But you don’t actually like him, do you?”
“…Wh-why would you say that?”

Goddammit, don’t stutter, me.

“I’d like to say it was just because you hated that kiss, but… honestly, I’d already suspected it. That you don’t really like your boyfriend—or most of the people in that group, for that matter.”

Her perceptiveness was scary. Just how much had she been watching me?

“Oh, but with Konami-san, you really do look close!”

So she’d even seen through the fact that Yui was the only one I truly trusted. With Yarai-san, nothing seemed to be baseless guesswork—everything she said hit too close to home.

“I give up.”

I raised my hands, waving the white flag.

“You’re right. I don’t actually like Shouya all that much, and apart from Yui, I don’t think highly of the others either.”
“Then—”
“But that doesn’t mean I’m going to start dating you, Yarai-san.”

Her eyes widened in shock at my words. Really? That surprising? Did that mean she’d actually thought she had a shot? That was the surprising part.

“Why not? Do you hate me?”
“I wouldn’t say I hate you… but, well, since we’re being honest, I don’t exactly… like being around you either.”
“Isn’t that basically the same as hating me!?”

She burst out laughing. Not hurt, not upset—just laughing. It was unsettling, like her emotions were all over the place.

“So what is it about me you can’t handle?”
“Uh… seriously?”

Why did I have to list her faults right to her face? I wasn’t built like her; my nerves couldn’t handle that.

But she just waited, eyes shining, like she was eager for my answer. Definitely not the look of someone about to hear their own flaws.

“W-Well… for one thing, you’re really loud…”
“Mm-hm, you told me that at the station too.”
“And you can’t read the room, and yet you always seem perfectly fine with it.”

As soon as I said it, I realized—it wasn’t really dislike. It was jealousy.

I envied how she could drift through life without bending to those around her, always true to herself. I didn’t have that. She had what I lacked. And that annoyed me.

“I’m not really… fine with it, you know? I want friends too.”

But she denied it.

Even so, to me, it still looked dazzling. Because for someone like me—someone who truly wasn’t fine—I had to fake it just to get by. Yarai-san didn’t.

Maybe she struggled in her own way. But to me, she still looked undeniably cool.

“Oh, and another thing.”
“Hm? There’s more?”
“Your face is way too good-looking. It pisses me off.”
“Huh. My face, huh.”

Yarai-san ran her hands over her cheeks as if checking them.

It was such a silly gesture, and yet, with her, even that didn’t come across as clumsy—her features were just too well put together.

“So should I become ugly instead?”
“Can you even do that?”
“Like this?”

She pulled at the skin on her cheeks with her fingers, forcing a crooked smile into a ridiculous face.

“Even then you’re still cute, and that just makes it even more irritating.”
“What am I supposed to do!?”
“That one’s just me taking it out on you.”
“Oh, so it’s just venting. Good. But, you know, you’re cute too, Kaidou-san.”
“…Yeah, thanks.”

If anyone else had said that, it would have sounded like sarcasm. But coming from Yarai-san, it felt genuine.

And she probably really did think I was cute. Not that I didn’t know I had decent looks myself—but when classmates praised me, I could never take it at face value. I always sensed a tinge of envy behind it.

“So basically, if I fix being loud, clueless, and good-looking, you won’t dislike me anymore, right?”
“That’s about right. Good luck with that.”
“That’s basically impossible!”
“Exactly.”
“That’s so mean!”

So stop yelling like that already.