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“He’s a nobody. He’s one of the sailors who will disappear when we reach Serlio. So, what’s so special about him? Why are you only sensitive about Ed when I also quarrel with Marenzio for example?”

‘…She’s right.’ 

Cesar realised that he’d gone too far with Lil. He began to doubt her affection on a whim, which eventually led him to pay attention to her every move. The whole situation made him anxious, but it wasn’t fair to take it out on her.

“I’m sorry, Liloa.”

Lil nodded her head. After Cesar hugged her, he left the captain’s room. 

‘The fact that I keep getting sensitive isn’t good for me nor Liloa, who is clearly having a hard time dealing with my doubts… At some point, Edgar’s play took a turn for the worst and started doing far more damage than I expected.’

Cesar had no intention of just watching Ed quietly anymore.

***

Ed, who was laying on his bed with his back against the headboard, picked his ear and asked for clarity.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Without skipping a beat, Cesar repeated what he had said before.

“I told you to not deceive Liloa any further. Stop feeding her ******** and stop your hypocrisy.”

“Hypocrisy?”

“I know what you’ve been saying to seduce her.”

Ed folded his arms and laughed into the empty space. 

“Hahaha..!”

“…”

He then shut his mouth and smirked at Cesar.

“Oh please enlighten me, how did I seduce her?”

“Don’t be pathetic, you can drop this courteous charade with me.”

“What is this? Do you see your lover as a fool who falls for some random ********?”

“Anyone can say what Liloa wants to hear. That everyone is the same regardless of social rank, that slaves should be freed or that you can help her do what she wants to do. Isn’t that why you helped her without asking anything in return, to tell her that?”

“Not at all.”

“You’re just taking the easy way out, I could have done the same if I wanted to.”

“She can actually do anything without someone’s help.”

“I told you to stop pretending in front of me.”

“But it’s true.”

Cesar had a disgruntled expression on his face that he couldn’t shake off. Apparently, Cesar really thought that Ed was only pretending in front of Lil. Ed recalled his memories, wondering when his reputation dropped that low. 

‘Do I really look like someone desperate enough to cast aside his beliefs and win someone over with false pretences?..’

“So you’re willingly giving up parts of yourself for a woman?”

“Captain. You’re talking nonsense. Do you think Liloa covets your position?”

“Covet?”

“Do you think she’ll eventually end up stealing your position as a man?”

“…”

Even though Cesar didn’t answer, there was a reluctant look on his face.

“Do you really think women can’t do anything on their own?”

“Liloa is a woman, and men and women are different. Don’t blind her by covering up the obvious.”

“Different you say, can you even define that difference?”

“Liloa is in enough danger as it is. This life has always been unpredictable, so how did you even come up with the idea of ​​dragging an injured woman into the sea?”

“Anyone who hears you would think of her as a glass doll. Diving into the sea is not going to ruin her life, so what’s the point in worrying? She’ll steadily recover day by day.”

“Don’t talk about Liloa recklessly. I don’t treat her like a glass doll, and I don’t think she should be treated like one.”

“But your behaviour contradicts what you’re saying. If you say it’s okay, it should be okay. So, what’s stopping you from walking your talk? It’s not like you’re looking after a child.”

“Because someone has to protect her.”

Ed was beginning to get bored with their conversation. Cesar suddenly came in and delivered a sermon, but there was a limit to accepting such a sermon given Ed’s feelings for Lil. Ed doesn’t want Lil to be unhappy, however part of that happiness was to stay with her current lover for a long time. 

‘How terrible will it be if they think they’re getting along great only to discover that their relationship is deteriorating?’

That’s why Cesar’s actions and words were scrutinised. Ed concluded that Cesar’s conservative attitude was simply the beginning of their misfortune.

“Why do you consider Liloa as weak? From what I’ve seen she clearly isn’t.”

“It’s my duty to protect her.”

“She doesn’t want that kind of protection if the sole reason is because you see her as weak and fragile. Wasn’t that how you treated her during and after the battle with the Marian?”

“It’s only natural for me to worry about her.”

“It’s a problem that you’re worried about her because she’s a woman, instead of seeing her as a person. You aren’t worried about her because she’s made of muscle and bone but because you see her as a weak woman, right?”

As a migraine started to rise, Cesar began to massage his temples. It might have been subtle, but Ed noticed his fatigue. 

‘We’ve been talking about Liloa for a while now, but I don’t sense any connection between the two of them at all.’

Ed tilted his head slightly. 

‘So why is he still on this ship… or better why is she still here?’

“Don’t twist my words.”

Ed suddenly seemed to realise what the biggest conflict between Cesar and Lil was. 

‘Seeing Cesar making such a fuss about Liloa’s injury, there is no way he voluntarily approved the life of piracy. It’s also clear that Cesar isn’t interested in freeing the slaves or working with the Southern League…’

Ed then recalled the time when Lil was drinking and sobbing alone. 

‘…There’s only one ending to this tragedy.’

Ed clasped his palms together.

“First of all, I would like to say that I have respect for you. I feel like I’m witnessing the height of affection.”

“…”

Cesar was trying to figure out what kind of scheme Ed was plotting. It was clear from Cesar’s body language, with his arms crossed and his back against the door, that he paid no attention to Ed’s compliment. Either way, Ed continued to say what he wanted to say. His priority was Lil, and he was willing to help if she was still living in hell.

“It’s incredible that you’ve been enduring this for years on end for Liloa. But don’t think that just because your happiness isn’t here, hers isn’t here either. If she did find her happiness on this ship, then that’s what it is.”

“Did you mislead Liloa with those words?”

“No. How can you or I judge the happiness of others? Only you know your own happiness. Happiness is something that can only bloom in the soil rich of stability. By creating a family or even doing small things. While the happiness of the majority is said to bloom like this, there are flowers that bloom from cliff sides or buds that sprout through the snow.”

“You really don’t know how to value people. Hearing you say this clearly states you don’t care about Liloa at all… Did you just compare her with a mere flower on a cliffside?”

“The forms of caring about someone can vary. Don’t mistake your happiness for hers. Liloa seems to very well know what to do to be happy. She is not a ‘woman’, but ‘Liloa’. Don’t lock her up in the frame of a woman known for only this or that.”

“I have never, nor do I intend to do so. If I thought of Liloa as an ordinary woman, do you think I would have followed her here? Don’t make careless assumptions.”

Ed groaned and laid his body straight on his back. 

‘It’s clear that this discussion will only be running in circles as neither of us has any intention of backing down on our statement… I can’t believe he thinks that her happiness is the least important thing in this arduous relationship.’

Ed, stretched out on the bed, looked somewhere at the ceiling and muttered.

“…If you continue to think like that, you won’t be able to see the blind spot… You and Liloa will suffer terribly…”

“…”

Cesar no longer felt the need to waste more words on this conversation. He sensed a terrible arrogance in Ed’s eagerness to intervene in a relationship between a man and a woman that only the two of them knew. 

‘That and Edgar’s smug attitude as if he knows Liloa well.’

Cesar left the cabin without saying a word.

***

Ed pressed his hat down and went up the stairs to the upper deck. The rain, which could be heard raging from the moment he walked through the artillery deck, had become considerably louder. Due to the rain falling sideways, he had to block the incoming water from his face with his hand, despite wearing a hat. The floor of the upper deck was littered with buckets to collect rainwater and on the bow side of the ship, near the figurehead, was a bathing party in full swing. 

‘The schedule is likely to be delayed for a few days due to the weather and the shelled hull that needs to be repaired. Even if this is the case, it’s not a major setback because we’ll have enough water. Of course, assuming that this rain does not turn into a storm…’

Ed looked up at the sailors tidying up the bow. Seeing them moving cautiously in the rain, it seemed that several people were injured. He then turned towards the captain’s room. As the hull, riding the waves, swayed, several buckets rolled from left to right. Ed’s shin was hit by an incoming bucket, fuelling his already high discontent. 

‘I told her to come find me if the medicine would wear off or if the pain would become too much… So, why am I the one who needs to drag his precious body through this weather if she’s the one who didn’t visit me on time?’ 

Muttering a curse, Ed kicked the bucket that hit him exactly in the shin. 

 – Boom. Thurrr… – 

The bucket that rolled with a dull sound came to a stop against someone’s calf. Ed looked up to that certain ‘someone’ without much thought.

“…Captain?”

“…”

Ed used his forearms to wipe the rainwater from his eyes. After taking a closer look, he confirmed it was indeed Lil and he ran up to her.

“No, with all this rain…… Captain? Captain! What are you doing here?”

“…”

Ed grabbed Lil by the shoulder and shook her. Whenever she shook, rainwater that had accumulated all over her body flowed down. Lil was completely soaked. Her lips were blue and her body temperature was ridiculously low. Ed couldn’t even imagine how long she had been standing there.

“Are you crazy?”

“…It hurts…”

“Where?!”

“…”

Ed soon realised that his question was of no use. 

‘Since she didn’t take the medicine on time, she must have been suffering from the pain for at least a few hours now.’

Lil had wounds on her sides, forehead, hands and arms, along with large and small bruises. And standing in this downpour was only making things worse.

Ed shouted, putting his hat on her.

“Come inside at once!”

“…”

However, Lil didn’t budge. Although she didn’t take a single step nor took off his hat, she couldn’t hold out against the hands that turned her shoulders. Ed grabbed Lil, who seemed to have lost her soul and entered the captain’s room. He removed his raincoat and tossed it on the floor before walking around the room and setting his bag down.

“Where are the towels?”

“…”

As expected, there was no answer. Ed stared at Lil, who was sitting absent-mindedly in a chair next to the door, before opening a chest under the bed which he thought was supposed to be a closet. Fortunately, there were indeed clothes and some towels in it. Taking three or four of them, he approached her.

“Why the hell did you do that?”

“…”

Ed scrubbed her hair with a dry towel. He knew she was completely out of her mind as she didn’t respond to his kindness. When her hair wasn’t soaked anymore, he handed a dry robe to her.

“Go wash up and change your clothes. How can I examine you like this.”

“…”

“Do it now before I undress you myself.”