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Four days before the commercial shoot, it was a rare spring weekend, and our family went out for a picnic.

We laid out a mat in a park near our house and lay down, looking up at the sky.

As I watched the drifting clouds, all idle thoughts disappeared.
When I quietly stare at the clouds, I am reminded of my past life.
In my past life, when I was young, there were no smartphones, and our house didn’t have a computer.
So, when I was alone at home, I spent time daydreaming or playing with toys.
Eventually, when I got tired of it, I would go out to the window, spread a blanket on the sunlit floor, lie down on it, and watch the passing clouds until I fell asleep.

But as I got older and life became busier, I hadn’t looked at the sky for a long time.
Now, after living a new life and having a youthful body, the sky I look up at is azure and clear.

Mom and Dad are sitting next to me, chatting.

With a fresh look in her eyes, Mom brushed her hair back in the spring breeze and said,

“What a nice day. I used to go on dates with your dad in spring like this.”

“Yeah, Dohee didn’t like going outside, so we didn’t go out often, but now that we’re out, isn’t it nice, Dohee?”

“Yeah, it’s not bad.”

Dad smiled and said,

“Dohee, come here and stand in front of the forsythia. I’ll take a picture.”

“Sure.”

“Dear, come here and stand with her.”

“Okay~”

Mom answered cheerfully and stood by my side.
Looking at Mom, I thought she must have grown up being loved all her life without a wrinkle in her life.

Although they are my father and mother in this life, deep in my heart, there is a lingering envy from my past life towards those who were loved.

“Dohee, how does your mom look?”

Mom picked a nearby azalea, tucked it behind her ear, and smiled warmly as she asked me.

“Beautiful, just like a real spring maiden~”

“Hahaha, where did you learn to say that?”

Mom laughed heartily and put a flower behind my ear too.

“Haha, doesn’t my daughter look like a spring maiden too?”

“Isn’t that because I take after you, Mom~”

While I was chatting affectionately with my lovely mom, my dad interjected.

“Wow, my daughter and wife are so beautiful aren’t they? I can’t tell the flowers apart~”

“Eww, that line is so cheesy.”

I pretended to gag at Dad’s comment.

“Aww, you’re making me blush. I really am like a flower now, right?”

Mom, on the other hand, enjoyed his comment and made a flower cup gesture with her hands.[1]

Usually, after having a child, the parents are too busy taking care of the baby to show much affection to each other, so their acts of affection decrease, but I guess I made things too comfortable for them.

‘Because I made it easy for them, their marriage feels like they’re dating, huh?’

I need a younger sibling soon to let them taste the hell of parenting.

Leaving my parents’ affection behind, I went back to the mat.

‘I should just eat the lunchbox…’

However, even for a moment, when I was alone minding my business, Mom and Dad came over and hugged me.

“Why are you eating alone, my dear~”

“Yeah, come and eat together with Dad~”

Their loving attention made me smile, but receiving too much of it was tiring… When will my sibling be born…

On the way home after the picnic
I was forced to walk with one hand held by my mom and the other with my dad.
Even the way home was tiring.

Mom asked me with a grin,

“Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah. But let go of my hands.”

Ignoring me, Mom continued,

“Okay, let’s go out often from now on. When I was pregnant with you, I often went for walks in the park with your dad like this.”

“Mhm, okay, now let go, my arms hurt.”

“Hey, come to think of it, I’m late for my period, but it’s not coming?”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, I’ve been so busy thinking about Dohee’s commercial shoot that I forgot about it.”

Wow, my baby sibling, you finally came.
Considering how noisy it is at night, if it doesn’t happen now, there must be a problem with Dad’s seeds.

With an excited expression, Mom looked at Dad and said,

“We need to go home and test it right away.”

Dad hugged Mom with a big smile.
But why won’t they let go of my hands while hugging.

I was stuck between Mom and Dad.

“Ugh, I’m dying from drowsiness, let go of me quickly.”

“I really love you, honey.”

“It’s not confirmed yet. Hehe…”

“I get it, now let go of my hands. Hrrk.”

Even after their hug ended, I was dragged home without them letting go of my hands.

As soon as we got home, Mom took a pregnancy test, and it showed two lines.

When two lines appeared, Mom and Dad were busy hugging each other, and I, annoyed by the sight, closed the door and went to my room.

Today, my side feels unusually cold.
I miss my piano teacher’s bosom today.

I decided to crawl under my bed and watch YouTube to forget my loneliness.
The space under the bed, where I used to avoid Mom and Dad, has now become my hiding place.

Haa, who in the world should I date in this life?
My mind is male, but my body is female, making my identity ambiguous.

One of my goals in my past life was to have a child who resembled me.
I wanted to love my child more than the love I didn’t receive.
To achieve that now, I have to get pregnant, damn it.

Welp, never mind, I have plenty of time to worry about it.
For now, my immediate goal is to become a perfect girl.

To clear my mind, I crawled out from under the bed, finished my daily routine, and went to sleep.

On the day of the commercial shoot,

Mom and I arrived at the commercial filming set.
The man who had met and contracted with us before greeted us as soon as we arrived.

“Oh, you’re here.”

“Ah, hello~”

“Have you been well, Dohee?”

“Yeah.”

My pleasant excitement was dismissed with a single word as my mother looked upon disapprovingly at my cheerful greeting.

“Tsk, Lee Dohee, greet him properly again. Do you want me to tell your father?”

Oh, that won’t do.

“Ma’am, please calm down. The little girl only made a mistake.”

I bowed politely at 90 degrees.

“Hello, sir~”

“Hahaha, alright, Dohee, let’s have a good shoot today? Come here, I’ll introduce you to the director.”

Following the man, Mom and I went to greet the director.

“This is Director Kwon Donghyun, who will be in charge of today’s shoot. Director, this is Dohee and her mother, who we’ll be filming today.”

“Oh, yes, hello.”

“Hello, Director. Dohee is shooting for the first time, so please be patient with her even if she is not up to par.”

Following Mom, I immediately greeted the director politely.
I have to make a good impression on the director.

Seeing Mom more nervous than me, the man from the advertising company eased her tension.

“Don’t worry about the shoot. Our director is a veteran, so he’s good at filming with kids.”

“Oh, yes, you don’t have to worry. First, let’s get ready for the shoot. Please follow the staff over there.”

The director seemed quite stern.
Is he really good at filming with kids?

“Yes, please follow me.”

“Oh, I understand. Dohee, let’s go.”

“Okay.”

Mom and I followed the staff to the dressing room.

“Eunseo, this is the kid for today’s shoot, so just follow the concept I told you.”

“Okay, got it.”

The staff gave instructions and left the dressing room.

The makeup artist, who was called Eunseo, came up to me and greeted me.

“Hello~ I’m Seo Eunseo. What’s your name, princess?”

“I’m Dohee.”

Calling me a princess right away is embarrassing.

“Hahaha, really? Dohee seems to be very shy?”

“Yes.”

“Hahaha… Alright, Dohee, why don’t you come here and let me do your makeup and get you dressed?”

“I’m sorry. My daughter is not being polite today. I’ll scold her at home.”

“I’m sorry, Mother. Hello, miss, please take care of me!”

“Pfft, alright, Dohee, come here and sit down.”

“Yes.”

I sat at the makeup table and started getting touched up by the expert.
I don’t know why they apply so much makeup to a 5-year-old.

When the makeup was done, my skin looked smoother, and my already fair baby skin appeared even clearer and more transparent.

“Kyaah, she’s a complete doll. How can she look so pretty with just applying the basics?”

Looking at myself in the mirror, I look pretty good.

“Well then~, shall I come over and get you dressed?”

“I can put on the clothes by myself.”

I don’t want to show my bare skin to strangers.

“It’s because I need to style you and see how it looks. Will you let unnie dress you?”

“I can do it by myself.”

“Oh, Lee Dohee, shouldn’t you listen to what the makeup artist says?”

My purity… I wanted to give it to the piano teacher.

After showing my pure body extensively to a strange woman,
the fully dressed me in the reflection I see in the mirror surprises even me.

“Huh…? Is this… me?”

‘Maybe… a bit… adorable?’

Dressed up prettily and with makeup on,
this body has now descended…
There’s no need to worry about finding a future partner anymore.
The answer was right in front of me.
I will love myself.
I will become a crazy narcissist.

Oh my Lee Dohee, take me, I’m yours and you’re mine.’

“Whoa, really, you’re the cutest baby I’ve ever seen~”

Ah, I agree.
This girl certainly has keen eyes.

“Well, if she weren’t cute, I’d have hit her several times already.”

I glared at Mom.
There is no place to hit on this delicate body.

“Now that everything is ready, you can go out and wait.”

“Yeah!!”

“Ahem, Dohee, you’re being rude again.”

“Yes.”

Once outside and sitting in a chair, a staff member came over and handed me the script.

“You just need to memorize this.”

“Okay~”

As I sat in the chair reading the script, Mom came over to look at it with me.

“Oh~ So this is what the script looks like. Can my little princess do well?”

“Of course, just drink a glass, make a pretty face, and say one line, and it’ll be done.”

“Shall we practice it once?”

“Sure.”

I pretended to hold an imaginary glass with both hands cutely and took a sip.
After drinking, I made a fresh expression,
and then delivered the final line.

“Oh my god, this is dope.”

“Hey! Lee Dohee, that’s not the line! Where are you learning such words? If you keep using bad language, I’ll stop you from watching YouTube.”

“Yea.”

“Phew… Now let’s try it once more, shall we?”

I held the imaginary glass with both hands again, took a sip, and then, with a surprised expression, shouted the line.

“Ahhh, please give me another drink!”

Mom, unable to hold back, gave me a playful smack on the head.

“Ack!”

I’m flustered.
My mind is spinning with various thoughts.

‘Ah, it hurts. It’s the first time I’ve been hit since I was born.’
‘There’s no place on this fragile body where you can hit though.’
‘But why do tears keep coming out?’

Strangely, while my mind seems clear, my body is not under control.
I didn’t intend to cry, but my body seems to think otherwise.

The pain in my head makes my body reflexively cry.
I try to swallow the tears through my nose.

“Sniff…sniff…hic…hic.”

“Oh, Dohee, are you crying? Don’t cry.”

Mom’s words as if a catalyst made me burst into tears.

“Waaaaaah”

Mom was greatly surprised to see me, who rarely cried as a baby, crying now.

“Oh… I’m sorry, Dohee, my princess. Stop, Mommy made a mistake.”

But when someone tries to comfort me, it makes me want to cry even more.

“Waaaaaah”

Wow, but how come even my crying sounds cute?
It’s perfect, really.

But when will the tears stop?