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Normally, I would still be sleeping at this time.
My eyes opened even though my Mom didn’t wake me up.
Today, I feel a dull pain in my lower abdomen.
And down there, it’s damp and warm, which is unpleasant.

I carefully lifted the blanket.
Ah.
I was ******.
Wait no.
If I was ******, I wouldn’t have had menstruation.

Anyway, there was blood on my white blanket.

I knew this day would come eventually.
But nevertheless, now that my menstruation comes I feel confused.

My body feels dizzy and I feel weak.
I realize now that the bloating, burning, and indigestion I’ve felt since the day before yesterday must have been because of my period.

“Mom~”

I called for my mom.
It’s still early for her to be awake.
I tried calling for her again, but Mom didn’t answer, likely still asleep.

Finally, I picked up my phone and called my Mom.
It took a while, but she answered on the third attempt.

Hello…? –

“Mom, come to my room quickly.”

Why are you calling me in the middle of the night…? –

“It’s six o’clock AM. Anyways, just come to my room quickly. –

Sigh… –

Mom hung up the phone and soon opened the door coming into my room a moment later.
She was so sleepy she could barely open her eyes, and she asked.

“What is it…”

Pointing to the covers I lifted up, I said.

“Mom, look at this.”

“Huh?”

Mom looked at my blanket and said in a surprised voice.

“What? Sweetie, did you start menstruating?”

“Yeah. But I don’t know what to do now.”

“First, take off your clothes and go wash up quickly. Mom’ll take care of the cleaning.”

“Yes.”

The smell of the blood is overwhelming.
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Even simple actions like washing my hair roughly and rinsing my body with body wash saps my strength making me feel drained.

Suddenly, I feel depressed.
Sigh, my miserable fate.
Why did I have to be born a girl and go through all this trouble?

After washing as quickly as I could and drying off with a towel, I felt something dripping from below.

Ah.

After all that showering trying to wash everything off, the menstrual blood came out again.
I had no choice but to go back into the shower and wash off the blood again.

Even after washing the blood again, the menstrual blood kept coming out little by little.
I used some tissues to block it and called my mom.

“Mom!! Come here for a second.”

Mom opened the bathroom door and peeked inside.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurting a lot?”

“No, but no matter how much I wipe, the blood keeps coming out.”

Mom closed the bathroom door and left, then came back with a new pair of undergarments with a sanitary pad attached.

“Quickly wipe yourself and put this on.”

“Yes.”

After washing again, I quickly put on the undergarments.

Ugh, I’m exhausted.
Now I understand why girls cry when they have their first period.
Even knowing exactly what menstruation is, I’m so confused. So it must be even worse for younger girls.

“Are you okay?”

Mom brought me some tea as I was slumped down on the sofa.

“Here, this is chamomile tea. It should make you feel a bit better when you drink it.”

“Yes.”

Mom looked at me with a worried expression as she spoke to me who was grimacing.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“No, I can handle it.”

“You should take a break from practice today and rest.”

Even though it’s summer break and I don’t have to go to school, I still have to go to the company for work to practice.

“No, I’ll just go to work. The monthly evaluation is coming up soon, so I need to go.”

“Just take one day off. The teachers there will understand if you explain to them.”

“This month’s evaluation is a group stage performance, so I need to go.”

I don’t want to inconvenience my team members for no reason.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yes, the tea Mom gave me is helping. If it gets worse, I’ll take some painkillers.”

“If you can’t bear it, just let them know and come home.”

“Got it.”

“But sweetie.”

“Yeah?”

Mom reached out and put her hand on my chest.
Startled, I slapped her hand away and crossed my arms.

“Ah! What are you doing?”

“Oh, my daughter~”

Already feeling confused, the sudden touch on my chest startled me.

“I thought your chest looked a little bigger when I saw you showering earlier, but it’s grown a lot, hasn’t it?”

Ah.

“Weren’t you uncomfortable when you danced?”

“It was only slightly uncomfortable, though.”

Lately, I’ve felt some chafing and discomfort when dancing because of the movement.

“You and Mom should go shopping for new bras on our next day off.”

I lifted my hand and placed it on my chest.

“Hmm, yeah they’ve definitely grown a bit bigger?”

“During the times you start menstruating it usually starts developing.”

I reached out and touched my Mom’s chest.
The mass felt similar.

“I will surpass you soon.”

Touching Mom’s sensitive spot, she became vexed.

“Ha! When Mom had her period, they were much bigger than this, you know? When Mom had her period she was a B-cup. A B-cup!”

Looking at my Mom skeptically, I said.

“If that’s a B, then the average for Korean women must be B too.”

“Oi!”

Still, I’m glad my Mom didn’t raise her hand at me now because I was on my period.
.
.
.

I went to work despite the abdominal pain.

Arriving earlier than usual and entering the choreography practice room, Seoyoon Unni was there.

“Dohee, you’re here?”

“Yeah.”

Seoyoon Unni lives in the nearby trainee group dorm, so she always comes early in the morning.

“You came early today?”

“I just woke up early this morning. A bit tired, though.”

“You need to sleep a lot if you want to grow taller.”

“Hey, I’ve almost caught up to your height already, Unni.”

By the way, I heard that after menstruation starts, girls typically grow another 5-8 cm over about two years before stopping.
Since I’m 163 cm now, if things go well, I’ll be over 170 cm.

“Unni’s growth period also hasn’t stopped yet.”

Unni is three years older than me, making her 16 years old, an age when most girls’ stop growing.

“Hang in there, Unni.”

“I said I haven’t stopped growing yet. Oh? Jiyeon and Wooa are here.”

Jiyeon Unni and Wooa Unni came in through the door.

Jiyeon Unni is another one of the four new trainees who joined this year, a year older than me, and the youngest if you exclude me.

“Dohee~”

Wooa Unni ran over and hugged me again today.
I’m getting tired of telling her to stop clinging to me anymore.

“Unni, you’re so full of energy this morning.”

“Seeing you Dohee gives me energy.”

I gently pushed Wooa Unni away and greeted Jiyeon Unni.

“Hi, Jiyeon Unni.”

“Yea.”

Jiyeon Unni responded coldly.
Since we first met she has been openly showing that she disliked me.
I don’t know why.
Openly showing her dislike toward me will only be her loss.
I decided to understand that she was still 14 years old and therefore immature.

As it got closer to 10 o’clock, the other trainees arrived one by one until all nine of us were gathered together.

There used to be ten people, but one new trainee who joined this year couldn’t handle the intense lessons and quit, so now there are only nine of us.

This month’s evaluation will be a group stage performance, with us being divided into three teams of three members each.

I’m teamed up with Naeun Unni, the oldest trainee, and Jiyeon Unni, the youngest besides me.
We moved to the adjacent practice room for more comfortable practice.

“Let’s warm up our bodies first and then practice together.”

Said Naeun Unni, our leader since she’s the oldest.

“”Yes.””

After stretching, we turned on the MR¹ and started rehearsing for our stage performance.

It’s my part now.
I need to step forward and sing while moving forward.

🎶”To someone who might feel a little lonely, I reach out my hand…”🎶

At that moment, my path overlapped with that of Jiyeon Unni’s.

“Sigh”

“Okay, let’s try again,”

Naeun Unni, the leader, stopped the music and said.

“Yes.” “Okay~”

Every time I dance I feel blood flowing down from below and a damp unpleasant feeling arises, and I wish it would end soon.

Back to my part again.

🎶”To someone who might feel a little lonely, I reach out my hand…”🎶

Again, Jiyeon Unni and my paths overlap.
I hesitated to point it out, fearing it might cause tension as I was the younger one, so I held back from saying anything but I decided to say it anyway.

“Jiyeon Unni, your steps keep crossing into my space where I need to go.”

Jiyeon Unni nodded slightly without saying a word.
Then she turned around and went to get water from the fridge.

At least she seemed to understand, I thought in relief, but then I heard her mutter under her breath.

“Ugh, so damn annoying.”

Haa.
It’s so ******* hard to cater to this brat.
Even though I gave up the center position because she wanted it, overlooked her mistakes every time, and I greeted her politely consistently.
What more does she want that she dislikes me so much that she even makes a fuss.

Maybe I should talk to Team Leader-nim

“Haa…”

I can only sigh.
Ah.
I feel like my menstrual cramps are getting worse now that I am annoyed.

.
.
.

A few days later.

The monthly evaluation.

It’s our team’s turn, the last performance in line.

The CEO began to speak from the judge’s table.

“Okay, so this team has the oldest Unni and the youngest.”

“””Yes.”””

“What song did you prepare?”

“We prepared ‘Hand Tip’ by Pastel Love Sunbae-nims.”

“Alright. Begin.”

On cue with the music we started our stage performance.

Soon enough, we reached the part where our paths overlap.
This time as well Jiyeon repeated her mistake again, but I anticipated it and naturally moved aside, making it look intentional and continued the performance.

Fortunately, except for that one instance, we finished the stage performance without any mistakes.

“Hmm.”

Unlike usual, the CEO took the initiative to speak.

“So, you guys decide on the center position among yourselves, right?”

“””Yes.”””

“Hmm. I don’t understand.”

The CEO’s expression hardened.

“Dohee, why did you take the rap part? Don’t you usually do vocals or center?”

“… My rapping skills had improved a lot so I felt confident.”

“No, Dohee, you’re better at singing than rapping.”

The president was very blunt.
Honestly, I wasn’t very confident in rapping either.

“Do you know why we do group evaluations?”

“””…”””

“Do you know or not?”

“””We know.”””

“If you know, you shouldn’t be doing it like this. I can’t tell what you want to show on stage; it’s all over the place.”

The CEO put down the microphone.

Ah.
I should have just taken the center position.

Choreography trainer Yerim’s evaluation.

“Jiyeon.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think it wasn’t noticeable when you messed up the positioning?”

“…”

“If you’ve been practicing for half a year, shouldn’t it be rudimentary that you are able to keep your movement in sync?

“…”

“Dohee and Naeun, you two answer, it’s rudimentary. No?”

“… It’s rudimentary.”

“Then what were you doing, not helping her?”

Sigh.

Now it’s time for vocal teacher Kwon’s evaluation.

“The singing was fine.”

Phew.
At least that’s a good evaluation.

“But the stage was so bad that I didn’t even want to listen to the singing.”

Finally, it’s Team Leader Jeong’s evaluation.

“Do better next time. If something like this happens again, there won’t be a next time.”

“””Yes…”””

In the end, instead of any praise, all we got was just scolding.
All because of one little kid.

After the monthly evaluation was over, I came outside, and Wooa Unni followed me and hugged me, saying:

“It’s okay, Dohee. You did really well.”

“Sigh.”

How nice it would be if only everyone were like Wooa Unni.
Being the youngest is a crime.
If I’m going to debut, I wish I could be the leader.

.
.
.

A few days later

When I went to the choreography practice room, I saw the monthly evaluation rankings posted.

1st Ji Wooa
2nd Kim Seoyoon
3rd Han Shia
4th Lee Dohee
5th Song Yeonji
6th Kim Naeun
7th Han Daye
8th Kim Jiyeon

Oh, 4th place.
Considering how badly it went, 4th place is quite satisfying.
But why isn’t Heo Boyeon’s Unni name there?

A little later, Team Leader-nim brought Boyeon Unni with her.
Boeyeon Unni’s eyes were red and bloodshot.

“Kids, I have something to tell you.“
“Boyeon is only going to be with us until today.”

It’s finally happening.

As Boyeon Unni started crying, the practice room became a sea of tears.
After hugging Boyeon and seeing her off, a heavy silence fell over the practice room when Boyeon left.

For the first time, a trainee was dismissed rather than leaving on their own.
The time spent with someone who had the same dream for the past year had ended.

Even though I knew it was bound to happen someday because of the competition system, my heart felt heavy.

I went to the restroom outside the practice room to wash my face and collect myself.
After washing my face and looking in the mirror, I saw Jiyeon Unni was there behind me.

“You’re lucky.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to worry about being dismissed, right?”

“What?”

Before I could continue speaking, Jiyeon Unni cut me off and said.

“The Teacher-nims, Team Leader-nim, and even the CEO-nim all favor you.”

“What favoritism are you talking about?”

“Do you think I’m the only one who thinks that? Everyone thinks so. Stop pretending to be innocent and sweet.”

Jiyeon Unni said that and left.

What the hell did I do?

Is it a crime to be pretty, good at singing, dancing, playing the piano at a top-class level, and to be good at studying as well?
Clench.

.
.
.

On the way home from work, riding in Mom’s car

After some time passed, my head cooled down a bit.

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“If being pretty is a crime, I’d be sentenced to life imprisonment, right?”

“What nonsense are you talking about again?”

“No, I’d be sentenced to death.”

“Did you have a hard time today?”

“On top of that, I’m good at singing, dancing, playing the piano, and studying. Can I wash away my sins with the death penalty?”

“You must have had a hard day.”

“Sigh, it’s exhausting to be so good at everything.”

“Let’s get home quickly and get some rest.”

Ah, thinking about it again makes me so angry.

“Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I yelled, while punching the car seat.

“Omo², why is she acting like this? Has she gone mad…”

AnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoyingAnnoying.

If I were a man in my past life, I would have thrown a punch right away.
That annoying *****.

TLN: By the way the reason why this chapter came out so late was because my University life started and the place I was using the Korean raw chapters basically disappeared. Luckily I had backed up some of those chapters. Well uploads may take longer because of school. But I’ll try to keep it up on the weekends.

1. Music Recording
2. Omo is just a korean way of saying oh my