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–––Ciel’s viewpoint

Before meeting Lapis I used to think I was a decently skilled magician. I had completed various difficult requests, and when I was idle at the guild I would get offers to join other parties. After I trained under Lapis, I thought I had become one of the best magicians, but now I was forced to realize I was just overvaluating myself.

“Alright, that’s five minutes of rest. Let’s continue.”
“P-please wait a moment!”
“I’m not waiting.”

Sorciere’s name had been carved in history as a legendary sorceress, so any magician would think training under her was the biggest honor possible. If I told anyone about it, they would ask to change places with me in a heartbeat. But changing places with anyone felt like a blessing to me now.

Sorciere’s training was really harsh. Or rather, it was so cruel that harsh was not the correct word to use. I did not feel physically tired, but I was mentally drained. Her training focused purely on the mind after all.

I’ll make you taste a near-death experience.

I could not understand what she meant when she said that. I did know the meaning of the words. That was used to describe the feelings of someone who got so hurt they barely survived, or when someone was so sick their mind wandered off. Adventurers work near danger all the time, so I had heard of some experience that, but I had never expected I would too…and on my bed of all places.

She restrained me with leather belts, and once I could not move, she placed her hand on my head. I did not know what kind of spell she was using, but I felt my consciousness fading rapidly.

A moment later I was shocked to find myself in a dark place. I was conscious, somehow…but it was a rather faint sensation, like I was dreaming. It was so bizarre to be in my body, but feeling like it did not belong to me, that I thought I would wake up soon. But that did not happen, the longer I wandered around the darkness, the more scared I felt. Anyone forced to wander in a dark place, where seeing one’s own body is a struggle, would eventually go crazy. Fear of the dark was a common trait amongst most living beings, it was our nature.

Afraid as I was, I continued trying to bring myself out of there with my own power. I screamed ‘wake up, wake up’ countless times, tried using magic to see if that helped, ran around as fast as I could, tripping and rolling, but nothing seemed to work.

My sense of time was starting to fade too, which chipped away at my sanity and I ended screaming and crying to let me out, my face covered in tears and snot. Still, I felt no anger towards Sorciere who put me through this, I just felt fear. At first sight she looked like a normal person, but I kept being reminded time and time again that she was quite strange. She was someone who trained and named a werewolf, and also tore his tail and ears apart. It was impossible for her to be in her right mind.

My sanity faded away, I started forgetting who I was, why I was here, what I was doing, when I suddenly was pulled back to reality.

“Are you awake now?”

I saw Sorciere right in front of me, instantly feeling a cold chill run through my body. I could not stop my teeth from chattering. My body was shaking, like I had caught a terrible cold. I felt afraid, maybe even more than when I stood in front of a Demon King. I could hear stifled cries escaping from my throat. My vision got blurry with tears, but Sorciere just tilted her head a little, thinking something as she looked at me.

“Hmm… Your mana capacity hasn’t really increased much. I was hoping for a bit more, but well, I guess we can try again if it didn’t work the first time.”

She was acting like a parent trying to discipline a badly behaving child, thinking of measures without considering the child’s feelings or thoughts. Her hand closed onto my head again, which I resisted as much as I could, somehow managing to get my head out of the way.

“Wait, please! What was that right now?! What are you doing to me?! At least explain that, please!”
“But I did. I made you taste a near-death experience. Souls that wander the border between life and death usually grow stronger. So I just used my power to send your soul there. If your mind is too weak you might actually die, but you’re a member of the hero’s party, so I doubt that will happen.”

I was at the border between life and death? So I was actually about to die? I was baffled. Being a little strange does not cut it. I had to get away from this insane woman as soon as I could, my life literally depended on it. I tried to escape, but then I recalled that I was tied and restrained onto my bed.

“Ugh! Why?!”
“Okay, enough thrashing. Doing this a few times will increase your mana capacity by a lot. You should be grateful you can get stronger just lying down doing nothing.”

She said with a wide smile, but I did not want that! I could not shout anything like that. My consciousness was plunged into darkness before a single word came out.

That happened many times over, my consciousness fading into darkness, wandering around the nothingness, being awoken while taking deep breaths and somehow recalling who I was. I…Ciel…a magician. Yes, I was a magician. Not some unsightly wretch who cries and screams wildly. I was friends with Lapis, Karin, Luvias, and Diaria. And our goal was…what was it again? Ah, right! Sorciere rescued us.

“It’s still not quite enough…but oh well, at least you should have some of the best mana capacities out there. Tomorrow we’ll work on mana control. You can rest for today.”

She examined me like I was some lab rat before saying that, and she left the room, having nothing left to do here. Is it finally time to rest? Is it really alright if I rest? Will I be back in that dark place when I close my eyes? Such thoughts swirled around my mind, stopping me from falling asleep. But my body and mind felt so exhausted that I knew I would pass out the moment I tried to sleep.

“…I guess I need to become stronger mentally too.”

I felt like my mind had been bolstered to some extent, after being plunged into that darkness and back out. There was a chance I would be back in that dark place, but I was slowly starting to feel like sleeping. But before that…

“I’d like to drink some water at least…wait, what?!”

I tried to get up, but was shocked to notice I could not move. For some reason, she had left the room without untying me from the bed.

“Hey! Sorciere! Could you untie me Ma’am! Are you there?! Someone! Is anyone near here?! Helppp!!”

I had never expected I would be shouting the same way in real life as I did in that dark place. It took an hour before I was released, and I really needed to go to the bathroom by then.