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“First, have this. Soba noodles.”
“…Isn’t that for a housewarming gift?”
“Just take it. Next is this. A reed diffuser.”

She pulled items out of the paper bag one after another, placing them on the table. The addition of so many new colors to my room made me feel a bit uneasy.

“White musk… What kind of smell is this?”
“Who knows? But I really like it, so I’m giving it to you.”

Isn’t it usually better to give someone a scent they like? Feeling a bit confused, I opened it and took a sniff.

It somehow smelled like Inazuki.

Originally, this room was supposed to reflect my tastes, but before I knew it, it felt like it was becoming Inazuki’s room. Everywhere I looked and touched, it felt like she was there.

What will happen to me if I stay here forever?

If I put down roots in this room, I felt like I’d become a different person than I was now. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though.

“It does have a bit of an Inazuki vibe.”
“Really? Does it smell good?”
“Yeah.”

I wondered how long Inazuki expected me to stay here. If I wished, I could stay forever. I couldn’t take her words seriously when she said that before. But now that she’s bought furniture, it would feel strange to leave immediately.

So when would it not be strange to leave?

Everything still felt distant and uncertain for me to consider this place my home. But at the same time, I couldn’t say I had no feelings for this house I shared with Inazuki.

I wasn’t sure.

Maybe if I got to know Inazuki better, I would start to see this place as my home. But that thought also worried me. If I know it’s going to end someday, it’s better not to get too attached. Even though I know it’s impossible to control my feelings.

“I’m glad you like it. And here’s more.”

She tipped over the paper bag, and towels and toothbrushes scattered across the table.

“These are the same brand of toothbrushes I use. I had you use the guest ones before, but these feel better. And here’s a body towel and a hand towel just for you, Iroha. I picked ones you might like. How are they?”

Inazuki spoke enthusiastically. The toothbrushes and towels were in soft colors, just to my taste.

…But.

I wondered if it was alright. With more things of mine here, it would be even harder to leave. Yet, with Inazuki smiling at me, I had no choice but to accept them.

“Thanks for everything.”
“No problem… This is your home and your room, Iroha.”

Inazuki’s house, my room. That’s what this space was.

It was a strange feeling to have your own room in someone else’s house, but it also made my heart feel warmly comforted. The mix of guilt and warmth was almost overwhelming. Where did I truly belong? Inazuki accepted me, but this wasn’t my home, and I didn’t yet feel like it was my place.

Yet, I couldn’t even think of the house I should return to as my home. It’s not like anyone there made me feel like I belong. I called it home only because it was where I grew up, but it held no special meaning for me. I had no place to picture when I thought of wanting to go home. My heart was always lost, unable to settle anywhere, and it was lonely. Maybe it was childish of me to think this way.

“You can just stay here forever.”

I collapsed onto the bed.

By the time the scent of newness changed to my scent, would my lost heart have found a place to land?

Feeling lonely, wanting a place to belong, wanting a home.

It was really foolish.

“Forever, huh.”

The word “forever” felt empty. Without a true connection, those words didn’t hold any meaning for me.

What did I want to become with Inazuki? Did I want to get closer to her and genuinely feel like I wanted to stay with her forever? Or did I just want to stay here until I’ve grown enough not to feel lonely anymore?

I didn’t know. But for now, I wanted to be here.

I wanted to be with Inazuki.

“I do like being with you, Inazuki. Talking about silly things, eating together, playing around. But what does ‘forever’ really mean?”

The sound of our breathing filled the room. I didn’t feel like getting up and just stared blankly at the ceiling. The warm light made me wish it could melt my heart.

“Inazuki, if you didn’t know anything about me, would you still have taken me in back then?”
“Of course. As long as you remain as you, I’d always choose to be with you. No matter what, I’d always end up liking you.”

Her words were clear and quiet. A warmth spread through my chest, making my body feel heavier. I didn’t understand the true weight of the word “like.” I couldn’t tell if it was a lie or the truth, and I reached my hand out toward the ceiling.

Inazuki leaned over and took my hand.

“What do you mean by ‘as long as you’re you’?”
“How can I explain? You’re a bit clumsy, always honest about your feelings… and a bit lonely. That’s what makes you, Iroha.”
“I’m not sure I get it. And besides…”

Inazuki seemed lonely too. I felt that if I said that out loud, she would disappear, so I kept quiet.

We were ambiguous.

Inazuki’s true feelings were cleverly hidden, impossible to grasp. If I truly wanted to know them, I feared they would spill out and vanish, leaving me wishing to maintain our lukewarm relationship.

“I don’t really understand what it means to ‘like’”
“If it’s okay, I’ll show you.”

Her fingers intertwined with mine, her dark eyes coming closer. Her fingers, warmer than before, gripped mine more firmly.

How do you show it? I didn’t even need to ask. Her face was getting closer.

Wait. I realized I had no way to resist. Inazuki was stronger than I thought, and the light in her eyes only grew.

No. This isn’t what I wanted. Was she serious? If I didn’t say anything, would she close the distance between us entirely? If she truly meant it when she said she liked me… Then what about the thing about the previous timeline? It was all getting tangled up, and I was starting to lose my grip on it all.

“Inazuki, you said we’ve never gone beyond kissing, but you never said we hadn’t kissed before.”
“That’s right. I’ve kissed you before, Iroha.”
“I see. Well, we were lovers, after all.”

Talking about the previous timeline made Inazuki hard to see.

But I got this close to Inazuki because of her bizarre statements. It was because I was so engulfed by it that I could handle being touched on the throat or hugged and think it was just the way things were. If she had confessed without all that, I wouldn’t have believed her even more. I would have thought she lost a bet or something.

What did Inazuki want from me now? If she truly liked me, did she want to do those things? Was that why she took me in? I didn’t want to do those things with Inazuki. But if she wanted them, I thought maybe I could go along with it. It’s not much different from going along with her bizarre statements.

“Yeah… but not now.”
“Why not?”
“Because your eyes are empty, Iroha.”

Inazuki kept her fingers intertwined with mine, looking into my eyes.

Close.

Every time she touched me, every time I heard her words, I felt the distance between our hearts growing. Why did it feel that way?

But still, she was close.

So close that I could feel her warmth and smell her scent, making my brain spin. The frequency I should be tuning into was off, making Inazuki seem distant. The places she touched burned, but she faded like she was hidden in the mist.

“If you tell me you like me and ask for a kiss, I’ll do it then.”
“Inazuki…”
“I can only express it with words now, but my feelings for you, Iroha, aren’t a lie.”

Her words, sounding like they came from another world, echoed in my head.

Words alone were not enough to make me believe. But even if she conveyed her feelings in another way, I probably wouldn’t believe it either. Until I knew Inazuki better, I couldn’t understand her emotions.

“Let’s sleep.”

She let go of my hand and lay down next to me. She then wrapped her arm around my waist and gently hugged me. I reached for the remote on the edge of the bed and turned off the lights, relaxing completely.

“About the future…”

Inazuki’s voice floated in the darkness.

“Is there anything you want to do, Iroha?”
“Why do you ask all of a sudden?”
“Until now, we’ve mostly done what I wanted… I want to know what you want to do too. Let’s do it together.”

Her hand softly stroked my stomach. Even through my clothes, it felt a bit ticklish. Isn’t it unusual for sleepovers to involve sharing the same bed? Despite thinking that, it didn’t feel strange to be sleeping next to Inazuki.

Did I feel this way about her because of her bizarre statements?

I wasn’t sure.

“Then, I want to go out.”
“Go out?”
“Yeah. To places we haven’t been in the previous timeline. I want to make new memories with the current us.”

It seemed the only way to see the unmasked Inazuki was to experience new things together. Without removing the shell of the previous timeline, I wouldn’t be able to get closer to her.

“…Alright. I’ll think of some places to go.”

She buried her face in my shoulder. I didn’t say anything more and just let myself lean into her.

It must have been over a decade since I last slept in the same bed as someone. Just like I had no memory of being hugged, I had no memory of sharing a bed with someone. Though it was my first time sleeping with Inazuki, I felt unexpectedly at ease and soon drifted off to sleep.

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