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If I said I had never gone out past eight o’clock at night, you might think I was a very serious, model student. In reality, I just never found anything I wanted to do besides studying, so I stayed home. I didn’t think I was that serious or even a model student. If there was something I wanted to do, I’d go out, whether it was day or night. Like right now.

The sound of two pairs of footsteps echoed through the quiet streets. Since Inazuki’s house was in the city, it was never really devoid of people. However, if you strayed a little from the bustling main street, an astonishingly quiet space unfolded. Even a lively city might only appear so on the surface. In reality, it could be lonely.

What about Inazuki?

“So cold! It’s practically winter, I’ll freeze to death.”
“Really? Should we go back and get a coat?”
“…That’s not it.”

What else?

Before I could voice my question, a hand was extended to me. She had released her hand that was holding mine when she unlocked the door.

“When someone says they’re cold, you should at least offer them your hand. That’s what couples do, right?”
“Inazuki, you and I are friends.”
“But once you remember everything, we’ll automatically be a couple. Can’t we just pretend for now?”
“Is my hand some kind of allowance or something?”

Was it because of the cold? Inazuki looked somewhat lonely.

“You don’t have to say anything; you can just hold my hand.”
“I want you to be the one to take my hand. Don’t you understand?”
“Why?”
“Because it makes my heart race.”
“Is that how it is?”

I gently held Inazuki’s hand. The warmth of her hand hadn’t changed at all. Probably neither had mine.

Why did Inazuki have feelings for me? It didn’t feel like she was teasing me, but it was still strange. If I set aside the unrealistic previous timeline, I couldn’t understand why she would like me. But thinking about the previous timeline just confused me even more, so I couldn’t understand Inazuki’s feelings either way.

Maybe it was best to think of this as a game of pretend for now. If I didn’t understand, there wasn’t much I could do. I did like Inazuki, but I understood that the kind of affection she wanted now was different from mine.

“Iroha.”

She always called my name directly. The only other people who called me by my name were my parents, so I almost forgot it until she started calling me Iroha. The way she expressed it, the nuances and tones, were completely different from my parents’. Because it was different, it sounded comforting.

Iroha. The name I used to only write on paper became something I could believe was mine.

“Iroha, do you have anything you want to be in the future?”

It was a sudden question.

I tilted my head.

“Prime Minister.”
“What?”
“Kidding. Really, though… hmm… a bride?”
“You’re joking again, right?”

It wasn’t a joke.

I thought I’d be happy if I could get married to someone. Because it would mean I could love someone and someone could love me. Mutual love is the happiest thing of all. More than money to live a carefree life, more than social status. That’s what I wanted. To be able to say I love someone and hear them say they love me back. If I could do that, I would probably feel unparalleled happiness.

Maybe this way of thinking was childish. But I was probably more childish than most people, more prone to feeling lonely, so it couldn’t be helped. Even if it was childish, even if I got mocked for it, I couldn’t change my wishes.

“…It’s a joke.”

It was probably best to leave it as a joke. Knowing Inazuki, she’d likely laugh and say she’d make me her bride. Even if I thought of myself as childish, I didn’t like being mocked by others. Perhaps it was because it was Inazuki that I ended up sharing my dreams.

“I see.”

Inazuki didn’t say anything more, lightly pulling my hand as we walked.

Today, unusually, she was walking slowly. Even without trying to match her pace, our steps naturally aligned. Maybe my flow of time was affecting her as well. Inazuki was a bit slower than usual, and I was probably a bit faster than usual. I didn’t know what meaning there was in this naturally matched pace, but it felt right.

“What about you, Inazuki?”
“Hm?”
“What do you want to be in the future?”

I asked as I climbed the stairs of the pedestrian bridge. Inazuki was taking the ramp instead of the stairs. It didn’t mean anything special, but somehow, it seemed very Inazuki-like. Not following the prescribed path was a bit unconventional.

“Me? I…”

When we reached the top, Inazuki looked down at the road. The cars created streaks of light as they moved through the city. I stared absentmindedly at them, waiting for Inazuki’s words.

“I can only think about the present.”

She said that with a faint smile. That smile still looked lonely. I didn’t feel like I was deeply enough into Inazuki’s life to ask why she had such an expression.

“As long as the present is fun, that’s all I need. If I can still enjoy life a year or two from now, that’s enough for me. I don’t need anything else and can’t think about anything else.”

Inazuki wrapped my hand in both of hers. Her hands were as soft and warm as ever. Why did they seem so fragile, as if they might crumble and disappear at any moment?

Since I couldn’t do anything, I gently squeezed her hand and smiled.

Inazuki narrowed her eyes slightly.

“Stay by my side, Iroha. If we can have fun together, we’ll surely be happy.”

Her words had the same power as her other bizarre remarks, shaking my mind.

But why was that?

Her eyes, which should have been looking straight at me, seemed to be seeing something entirely different.

“It would be nice if we could have fun together.”

That was all I could say at that moment.

Inazuki, what are you seeing within me?

I felt like asking that would change something, so the words got stuck in my throat and disappeared. Besides, it seemed pointless to ask. I had a feeling that my words wouldn’t reach her as she was now.

“…Iroha!”

Her face was so close that I could feel her breath.

She was very close.

Normally, people didn’t get this close. Well, unless this was the norm among high school students these days… as if, who am I kidding?

“How about we do something we can only do now?”

What could that be, I wondered, tilting my head.

“Specifically?”
“Let’s guess whether the next person to come up this pedestrian bridge is a man or a woman. The one who guesses right wins.”

It was sudden.

Would that be fun?

I wasn’t sure, so I just gave a vague smile.

“And if I guess correctly?”
“You get a warm hug from me.”
“…That sounds nice.”

Thinking about it, I’d never been hugged by anyone. My parents must have held me when I was a baby, but I had no memory of it. That’s why, in kindergarten and elementary school, I’d get overly excited and grip hands too tightly with friends, and they’d get mad at me. Back then, I was a bigger child than I was now. Both in age and in spirit.

Was I growing, or not? I couldn’t tell.

“I choose a man,” Inazuki said.
“Then I’ll choose a woman.”

We quietly waited for someone to come. Below, cars roared by.

At a time when we might get in trouble for being out, the two of us stood on the pedestrian bridge, holding hands. From the outside, it must have looked incomprehensible. Two high schoolers, standing there at this hour, holding hands and staring at each other—it must have looked suspicious.

But.

I couldn’t take my eyes off Inazuki. She was also staring at me, so I missed the chance to look away.

Her black eyes reflected me vividly. What her eyes showed now was undoubtedly the me standing here. That gave me a small sense of relief, but there was still a part of me that felt uneasy. I squeezed her hand a little tighter.

Soon, footsteps approached. Heavy, strong footsteps.

When I turned, I saw a man in a suit walking toward us.

It seemed this odd little contest was Inazuki’s victory.

“I lost.”
“So it’s my win.”
“…So, what happens when you win? Should I hug you?”
“Hmm… Yeah, I think I’d like a warm hug from you, Iroha.”

She gently released my hand and spread her arms wide. I waited until the footsteps had faded away before reaching out to her.

Come to think of it, how do you give a hug? Do you just bump into each other from the front? Or do you wrap your arms around and then press your bodies together? Maybe you slide a leg in and then bring your body close?

…I was getting confused.

“Iroha. Are you coming? I’m ready.”

Inazuki waved her arms impatiently. It looked like she might just fly away.

I took a small breath and jumped into her arms. I pressed my forehead to her shoulder, wrapped my arms around her back, and hugged her, pressing our stomachs together. She smelled sweet and gentle, like candy.

Wrapped in that scent, I felt calm. The warmth and smell flowing into me were incomparable to just holding hands. This might become addictive. I never understood what it meant to crave human touch, but now I felt I could. It was warm, soft, and gentle.

How do children in the world handle experiencing this feeling from a young age? If it were me, I think I’d turn weird. Even now, I think I’m feeling strange.

“Iroha, you’re so soft.”
“Inazuki, you’re warmer and softer. And you smell nice.”
“So do you, Iroha. …It’s calming, like this.”

Even though I’d held hands with friends before, had I ever hugged someone like this?

Inazuki hugged me tightly. It was slightly painful, but even that pain felt comforting. Perhaps I had an overwhelming craving for human touch. But it really was strange. Without realizing it, I was drawn into Inazuki’s unique world, naturally embracing her. I had never done this with anyone before.

Yet with Inazuki, it felt natural.

Maybe hugging someone else wouldn’t feel so strange either. But the first person I hugged was Inazuki. And I felt, just a little bit, that it was good my first hug was with her.

“If you don’t remember,” Inazuki whispered.

Her hair mingled with mine, light brown contrasting with dark brown, strangely dazzling.

“Would you still become my lover someday?”
“…I don’t know. But for now, I want to stay like this.”

Was her declaration of love just an extension of a pretend game?

It was hard to believe that someone like Inazuki could genuinely have feelings for someone as ordinary as me. We hadn’t had many interactions before. There shouldn’t have been any opportunity for her to develop such feelings.

Yet, I felt like her words were sincere.

Even if I asked why or how it started, I wouldn’t understand.

Love and affection—would understanding them make me happier?

“I see… For now, that’s fine. Let’s hug each other like this again. It’ll be fun.”
“Yeah… Thank you, Inazuki.”
“What for? Why are you suddenly thanking me?”
“Because you’re the first.”
“Huh? O-Oh, okay.”
“You’re the first person to hug me. It makes me pretty happy. So, thank you.”

I said this while pressing my head against her collarbone, burying myself deeper into her embrace.

“I see. Well, that’s good.”

Inazuki continued to hold me, accepting me completely.

Being accepted by someone—both in words and body—was a source of happiness. We remained in our embrace for a while longer.

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