| Author: Inukai Anzu | Original Source: Kakuyomu | Word Count: 4329 characters |
| Translator: Mui | English Source: Re:Library | Word Count: 1787 words |
| Editor(s): Fire | ||
After buying furniture, we had a meal at a nearby restaurant and were on our way home. It was still too early for sunset, and the sky, beginning to take on a faint orange hue, dazzled my eyes.
We walked side by side, each carrying a bag with our purchases. Perhaps this was what shopping with one’s mother felt like. I wouldn’t know, as I had never experienced it.
“This is exciting,” Inazuki said. The small items in her bag clinked together as she spoke.
“What is?”
“What do you mean? Of course, I’m talking about the furniture delivery! We should have a sleepover once it arrives.”
Inazuki laughed, stepping on the fallen leaves from the street trees. Her smile exuded a fresh, autumn-like atmosphere. The picturesque one wasn’t me; it was Inazuki.
I watched Inazuki walk joyfully with squinted eyes. She always seemed to be having fun, reminiscent of this city that never dimmed, even at night. It made me feel both a bit restless and happy. Being with Inazuki left me no time to dwell on things deeply, and it was dizzying. That I found this comforting was somewhat mysterious.
“Aren’t we already having a sleepover?”
“Yes, but that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about sleeping together in your newly furnished room, chatting about our future and all sorts of things. Doesn’t that sound fun?”
Come to think of it, I had never slept in the same room as her. Since the day she took me in, I had been given my own room, so there hadn’t been an opportunity.
I felt a bit nervous. I was used to sleeping in the same room as friends. Yet, it felt different this time, likely because Inazuki’s quirky remarks still unsettled me.
“Yeah, it does. I want to understand you better, Inazuki.”
“Me too.”
“If we were lovers, wouldn’t you already know a lot?”
“Hmm… maybe not as much as you’d think. This is the first time we’re living together. I wanted to go furniture shopping today to learn about your tastes, Iroha.”
Her clear voice conveyed her sincerity.
A gust of wind blew, stirring her bright hair, which emitted a sweet scent. Though we used the same shampoo, I felt I didn’t smell as good as she did. We used the same products, but we differed in nature. It felt something like that.
Still, using the same shampoo and body soap made me feel a bit happy, as if I were part of Inazuki’s family. The current me, who was blending into Inazuki’s home, felt different. I realized that I was growing closer to her, enough not to feel any discomfort.
“Do you really want to know more about me?”
“Of course. You always want to know everything about the person you love.”
She showed a smile as gentle as a spring breeze.
For a moment, I forgot to blink. I couldn’t look away. When I hastily blinked, I realized how dry my eyes had become.
“Love…”
“Yes, I love you, Iroha.”
Her voice was bright. It was the same tone she’d use to talk about going out to have fun. Because of that, I couldn’t quite take her words seriously.
“What do you love about me?”
“I love you as a whole, I guess? I haven’t really thought about it.”
What does that even mean?
Inazuki was truly peculiar. If she was joking, she should have anticipated questions like these.
“But if I had to say, I’d say everything.”
“That’s quite a bold statement.”
“Is it? Anyway, I love your face, your voice, your personality. I love everything.”
No one had ever looked me straight in the eyes and told me they loved me so directly. It made me flustered.
Inazuki was bold in many ways. Talking about different timelines, claiming we were lovers, saying she loved me—it was all so bold and straightforward. It made me feel like I had to respond just as earnestly. It made me want to stand up straight and properly answer her words.
“Uh, thanks… I think I quite like you too, Inazuki.”
“Quite, huh?”
“I don’t know you very well yet, but I’m grateful. Thanks to you, every day is fun and not lonely. So, if there’s anything I can give you in return, let me know.”
The physical distance between Inazuki and me was so close that our shoulders might touch. But we still didn’t know that much about each other, and the emotional distance hadn’t closed to the same extent. We couldn’t touch each other’s hearts just yet.
So I felt a little uneasy and ended up looking into her eyes. Those eyes that reflected me so clearly.
“…I like that about you, Iroha. The way you convey your feelings so honestly.”
“Yeah.”
“If you ever remember things from the previous timeline, it would make me happy if you told me you love me.”
Hearing someone say they love you never feels bad, but not understanding the reason behind it left me unsure of how to respond.
And just when I had forgotten about it, she would come out with another one of her bizarre statements, leaving me confused all over again. It’s always so abrupt and hard to grasp. Even if we hold hands or she tells me she loves me, I can never recall anything about a previous timeline.
Her eccentricity felt so overwhelming that it made it hard to see Inazuki’s true self.
I wanted to know more. However, the more I tried, the stronger her eccentricity became, and I ended up losing sight of her. Inazuki was a peculiar girl.
Maybe I was, too.
“Yeah, someday… I hope I can say it someday.”
We walked along the main street towards the station. Unlike the area where I lived, this place was urban.
With each step, we passed numerous people, and the constant noise left no room to breathe, always vibrating in our eardrums. Walking through the hustle and bustle, I felt as though I might lose sight of Inazuki, so I instinctively reached for her hand.
But I couldn’t grasp it. She quickened her pace slightly, turning to look at me with a mischievous expression.
“Right. Wait here for a bit, Iroha.”
“Huh?”
Inazuki bounded away. The distance between us widened, and her figure grew smaller. Knowing my outstretched hand wouldn’t reach her, I slowly brought it back to my side and stood at the edge of the path. Standing too close to the edge, the prickly bushes poked at my back.
“Really, everything feels so far away.”
I looked up at the sky. The autumn sky was high and distant, and staring at it made me feel as though I might be sucked in.
People might be the same. So far away that no matter what you say, it doesn’t reach them. You just can’t get closer. Yet, the connection with people is so alluring that even knowing you can’t reach them, you still yearn for it.
I felt weak.
I debated whether to call a friend. Wanting to hear the voice of someone I knew made me realize just how weak I was.
“Iroha.”
I heard someone’s voice and smelled flowers.
“Ta-da!”
She presented a bouquet to me. The flowers were facing me, in colors of white, pink, red, and various others. I blinked in surprise.
What was this?
“Um…”
“A gift. I thought you could put them in your room.”
She said this with a bright smile.
“Since we’re living together, I don’t want your room to be all just your style. I want you to incorporate a bit of mine too.”
My room with Inazuki’s touch?
Imagining it felt a bit odd. Up until now, my room hadn’t even reflected my own style. If my style showed through and then merged with Inazuki’s, what would my room become? But in any case, I should accept the gesture.
“…I see. Thank you. They’re pretty, the blossoms. I love it.”
Inazuki looked a bit surprised.
Had I said something strange?
“What’s wrong?”
“Blossoms? That’s such an adorable word choice.”
“…Thanks for the flowers.”
“Blossoms,’ you mean.”
“Flowers.”
Inazuki grinned and peered into my face. I felt a bit embarrassed. Was it such a big deal whether I called them flowers or blossoms or whatever?1
Being called cute over something like that was unnerving. I might need to be careful with my word choices from now on. If Inazuki kept teasing me like this, I might overheat from embarrassment.
“If you keep teasing, I might start to dislike you.”
“I wouldn’t like that. Aww, but it was so cute.”
She was definitely teasing me. If she said she loved me, couldn’t she understand my embarrassment?
Inazuki was really such a…
“Inazuki.”
“What is it?”
“Thank you for today. It was my first time experiencing many things, and I had fun.”
I smiled at her, feeling it was important to express my feelings while I had the chance.
Our coexistence could end at any moment. By tomorrow, this relationship might revert to just talking in the classroom. So, I decided to convey my feelings now to avoid regretting it later.
“Not just today. Thank you always. I really like that you take me to so many places.”
“Uh, yeah. Well, when you say it all serious like that, I get a little nervous. You’re welcome.”
Inazuki’s cheeks were slightly flushed. In the quickly reddening cityscape, it was hard to tell the source of that red tinge.
But having conveyed what I needed to, that was enough. Expressing my feelings was my responsibility, and how she received them was up to her.
“Well, um, if you want, you can stay as long as you like,” she said, smiling shyly.
Seeing her like that made my heart feel a bit lighter.
“Thank you.”
I knew I couldn’t stay at Inazuki’s place forever, but her words genuinely made me happy.
As we walked side by side, I gently touched the back of her hand with mine. I was holding the bouquet in my left hand and my purchases in my right, so we couldn’t hold hands. But just this touch was warm enough to satisfy me. Inazuki also touched my hand in return.
The rustling sound of our bags mingled. Without saying anything, I smiled softly.
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Footnotes:
- This is a Japanese wordplay that doesn’t translate well in English. Basically, the author used word beautification or *Bikago* to make Iroha say flowers more gently the first time before being pointed out by adding “*o-*” before the Japanese word for flowers, “*hana*”.
