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Chapter 22

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Author: Inukai Anzu Original Source: Kakuyomu Word Count: 5128 characters
Translator: Mui English Source: Re:Library Word Count: 2345 words
Editor(s): Fire

“Inazuki-san, huh? Wait, Amakawa, you know know each other?”
“Yeah, we’re friends. Though it’s rare for Inazuki to come up and talk to me like this.”
“Well, yeah. Mind if I sit here?” Inazuki pointed at the seat next to me.

“Go ahead, sit down,” Chise said quickly.
“But that’s not even your seat,” I remarked.
“I’m just speaking on behalf of the owner.”
“Oh, I see.”

Chise, sitting in the seat in front of me, had spun the chair around, leaning back against the seat with her legs spread wide—a bit of a delinquent look, enhanced by her blonde hair.

Only Inazuki would boldly approach someone like Chise so casually. If it were me, I’d hesitate to even strike up a conversation.

Though, Chise wasn’t a delinquent, just easygoing, so she wasn’t hard to talk to at all.

“Here, milk,” Inazuki said, handing me a small carton.

She must have noticed I wanted a drink and went to get it for me.

“Thanks. You’re on top of everything, as always, Inazuki.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“It’s high praise.”

I poked the straw into the carton and took a sip. I hadn’t had milk in a while, but it tasted the same as ever.

As I drank, a thought crossed my mind—I hadn’t made any cream stew this winter. With the cold weather, it seemed like a perfect dish to cook soon. Though, I wondered if Inazuki would like it. She usually preferred bolder flavors, so it might not be her thing.

“Inazuki-san, want some bread? Take whichever you like.”
“Thanks. I didn’t bring a bento today, so I’m starving.”

Inazuki glanced at me briefly, and I felt a pang of guilt.

But it wasn’t entirely my fault. The reason I overslept this morning was because of her. If she hadn’t brought up the whole previous timeline thing, I wouldn’t have had that dream.

Still, without the talk of the previous timeline, maybe our current relationship wouldn’t even exist.

If the old me had fallen for Inazuki without all the talk about the past, then maybe I really was different from who I used to be.

Now, our relationship was tied to this idea of a previous timeline—a strange connection forged through her “radio waves.” As I grew closer to her, I found myself accepting her more and more, letting her hug me, touch me. And I did the same in return.

“Inazuki-san, you always bring a bento, huh?”
“Recently, yeah. Since someone makes it for me.”
“Who, your mom?”
“Hehe, yeah, you could say that.”

I wasn’t Inazuki’s mother, though.

Inazuki laughed, looking cheerful. Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t really seen her interact with anyone else that much, but watching her now, she looked perfectly normal—so much so that her bizarre statements felt like they had never happened.

She had the look of just another classmate.

Wait, what kind of look is that? Even thinking about it, I couldn’t quite figure it out, but it was something like that.

She blended right into the scenery, with no hint of standing out.

This version of Inazuki, just as Classmate A, was nothing like the dazzling presence she usually radiated in my vision. It was fresh, almost amusing, and I thought it would be interesting to observe her interactions with Chise a bit more.

That’s what I was thinking when…

“So, what were you talking about?”

Inazuki turned to look at me.

Classmate A had turned back into Inazuki.

“Just about taking some university classes with Chise.”

Even though she’d said she Chise wasn’t her type, they looked like they could get along just fine. That was a relief.

“Inazuki, do you want to come too? It’s next Saturday.”
“Sure.”

Her reply came without a second thought.

Chise didn’t show any particular reaction. She was always the type to accept things as they were, so whether Inazuki came or not probably didn’t make much difference to her.

“Huh, I didn’t know you two were that close.”
“Hm?”

I tilted my head in confusion.

“Well, you don’t usually invite people on your own. I’m impressed. I didn’t know you had any friends besides me.”
“I do. I told you, remember? During summer break, I was hopping around from one friend’s place to another.”
“Oh, right. Did you stay at Inazuki-san’s place too?”
“Yeah.”

No way I could admit I was still staying at her place. Or maybe I could? Even if I told Chise that I’d been crashing at Inazuki’s house ever since I left hers, I felt like she’d just respond with a simple “Oh, I see.”

But the truth was, staying for half a year at a mere classmate’s house wasn’t exactly normal.

People already called me eccentric or whatever, so I didn’t mind, but I didn’t want Inazuki to be seen as strange because of it.

In the end, it was probably best for us to just be seen as regular friends. Most likely.

“Oh, really? That’s surprising. When did you two become close?”
“Uh…”

We’d gotten close around September. But since I started staying at her place in August, it was probably better to say we became friends before that.

“Maybe spring? Right, Inazuki?”
“Yeah, maybe.”

Inazuki gave a halfhearted reply as she bit into her melon bread.

…Wait a second.

Talking about my relationship with Inazuki might be more difficult than I thought. There was something offbeat about it, and explaining it to others felt like it would come across as weird.

If our relationship had stayed at just casually chatting in the mornings, I wouldn’t have had to think this much about it.

Not that I want to go back to that kind of relationship at this point.

“Hmm. I’ve never really talked to you before, so I’m curious. Can I ask what your hobbies are? Or what you do on your days off?”

She really goes for it, doesn’t she?

Even Inazuki seemed a little taken aback by Chise’s boldness.

But, as expected of Inazuki, she quickly adapted to Chise’s pace and soon they were chatting casually and comfortably.

As I watched them enjoy their conversation, I quietly munched on my bread.

If I liked Inazuki, should I feel jealous right now?

Like, “I want her to only look at me.”

Hmm. That doesn’t quite sit right with me.

Loving someone and wanting to clip their wings to keep them within your sight are definitely two different things.

To begin with, I do like Inazuki, but it’s not like I want to be her girlfriend.

I want her to cherish her own life. If she gets a romantic partner, I’m ready to quietly move out. And if the day comes when I become a burden to her, I’d be fine with that, too.

It’s just that, right now, I want to be with Inazuki. I want to be the one she touches, the one she hugs.

People get used to things over time, so if I end up separated from her, I’m sure I’d eventually get used to that kind of life, too.

But…

If I ever let myself think that I want to be with Inazuki forever, or that I want to be her lover and no one else’s, I feel like I wouldn’t be able to think about anyone else ever again.

I know it sounds heavy, even to me.

My feelings for others were already so faint. I’ll probably only be able to truly fall in love with one person in my entire life.

For now, though, I just love the person Inazuki is. The bright, easygoing girl who can get along with anyone, who laughs and chats with her classmates.

If I could stay by her side and see that version of her, I’d be happy.

“Haneda sure doesn’t hold back, huh?”

On the way home, Inazuki said that to me while holding my hand.

“Yeah, but somehow, I don’t mind it. I call it the Chise Magic.”
“What’s that? …Well, I get what you mean. There’s something odd about her. She’s kind of like you.”
“Is that so? Then maybe she’ll become just as good friends with you as I am.”
“That… I’m not sure about.”

It felt strange.

Inazuki, who seemed so distant at school, always chatting with so many people, was now walking beside me, holding my hand. Half a year ago, I never would’ve imagined a day like this would come.

I think Inazuki and I have grown quite close.

I’ve learned so much about her, and I’ve started to understand her preferences little by little.

At least, I thought I had.

But ever since I had that dream this morning, I’ve started to doubt everything again. If I assume that the dream was a memory from the previous timeline, then what Inazuki told me wasn’t true.

Inazuki and I weren’t lovers in the previous timeline. Maybe we were lovers in some other timeline, but I had a strong feeling that wasn’t the case.

Even if I were to confess to her now, I think Inazuki would turn me down. I don’t know why, but I can’t picture a future where Inazuki becomes my lover. I think the key to it might be hidden in the lonely expression she occasionally wore.

“By the way, Inazuki, have you ever attended a university class before?”
“No, not even once.”
“Really? Then it’ll be a first for all of us—me, you, and Chise. That’s kinda nice, we’ll all be in the same boat.”
“…Yeah.”

Inazuki didn’t seem too excited. Maybe she wasn’t really up for it?

“Do you not want to go to the university class?”
“It’s not that I don’t want to… but…”

She gripped my hand tightly and came to a stop.

It was cold, yet her hand felt hot. The wind brushing against my skin was so chilly it made me want to shrink into myself, but her hand was warm, almost like it could melt mine. The stark difference in temperature made my hand feel like it could shatter into pieces.

“If possible, I wanted it to be just the two of us.”

Inazuki’s voice was so small, it almost vanished into the wind.

Honestly, I couldn’t figure it out.

Even if I asked why she liked me, or what made her fall for me, I still didn’t understand why she felt that way about me.

She always said she loved everything about me, but what does “everything” even mean?

Does she mean everything about the current me?

Or does she mean everything about me that she’s seen across the different timelines?

It’s hard to know what to trust, and it’s all so unclear. But what I do know is that everything she’s done for me is real, and because of that, I’ve grown to love her more. I’m certain that I love her more today than I did yesterday, and tomorrow, I’ll love her even more than I do today.

I’m sure of that.

And yet—

I still find myself thinking these frustrating thoughts, like, does she really love me?

If she loved me that much, then why did she reject my confession? Why did she lie and say we were lovers in the previous timeline?

“We can take classes together when we’re in university.”

I wasn’t sure if we’d end up at the same university, but it was a possibility.

“Yeah, maybe. That’s true.”

It sounded like Inazuki was trying to convince herself more than anything. I couldn’t bring myself to ask why. Instead, I smiled.

“For now, let’s do the things we can only do in high school.”
“Like taking a class with Haneda and the three of us?”
“Exactly. This might be the first and last time the three of us do something together.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

Inazuki kept saying “maybe” a lot today—maybe.

“Maybe we should have kamo nanban1 for dinner tonight.”
“Huh? Where’d that come from?”
“I just felt like it.”
“You’re really…”
“A weirdo?”
“Did you seriously just call yourself that?”

I tugged at Inazuki’s hand, leading her along the path. Walking while holding someone’s hand was surprisingly tiring. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for it.

It feels like you can see more when you’re walking behind someone than when you’re leading.

“You and I, we’re both weirdos, Inazuki. So let’s be good weirdos together.”
“No, I’m not a weirdo.”
“Not realizing it is proof you are one,” I teased with a grin.

Inazuki squinted at me, looking slightly annoyed.

“Stop with that smug face. That’s just bad logic.”
“But I do want us to stay close. That’s real.”
“I already know that.”

Inazuki’s heart remained a mystery to me. If the version of us from the timeline I saw in my dream were really lovers, maybe I wouldn’t have all these doubts.

Inazuki always kept me guessing, whether with her cryptic words or the strange, distant memories of the previous timeline. What was I seeing beyond all this confusion? Where would it all lead? I had no idea where my relationship with Inazuki was heading.

“Inazuki… I think I like you the most right now.”
“Wha—where did that come from?”
“I just thought it’s one of those things I can only say right now. …Yeah. Inazuki, you’re a dear friend I really love.”

Why did she lie? Why did she sometimes look so sad? What was the real Inazuki like? What truly happened in the previous timeline? There were so many things I wanted to know.

Would there ever be a day when I learned the answers to all of them?

I didn’t know, but as I wondered, I smiled at her.





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Footnotes:

  1. TLN: Kind of an impossible joke to translate here. “Maybe” and “duck” are both pronounced “Kamo” in japanese, so Iroha thought of kamo nanban (duck meat noodles) because of all the ‘maybe’ in the previous paragraph.
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