| Author: Inukai Anzu | Original Source: Kakuyomu | Word Count: 2103 characters |
| Translator: Mui | English Source: Re:Library | Word Count: 4301 words |
| Editor(s): Fire | ||
“Come on, Iroha-chan, wake up! Happy New Year!”
I was shaken awake and slowly opened my eyes.
Through my groggy vision, I saw Ayaka-chan.1 Of course, it made sense that she looked similar to her sister, but Ayaka-chan really resembled Chise. Especially around the eyes—they were almost identical.
If I recall correctly, she is in fourth grade now.
I found myself thinking, in my half-asleep state, that she’d probably grow up to be a real beauty.
Oh, right… I was staying over at Chise’s house. It felt a bit novel waking up to someone else’s face first thing in the morning.
When I was at home, I was usually alone, and Inazuki was always such a late sleeper.
“Mm… Happy New Year, Ayaka-chan.”
I patted Ayaka-chan’s head. Unlike Chise, her hair was black. I wondered if she’d bleach it like Chise when she became a high schooler.
“Yeah, happy New Year! Let’s go get some New Year’s money!”
“Chise’s still asleep.”
“She was up all night yesterday, ringing in the New Year, so I don’t think she’ll be waking up anytime soon. Oh! How about we take her New Year’s money for her, Iroha-chan?”
“Hold it right there, kid.”
From the top bunk of the bed, Chise suddenly sat up.
Chise and Ayaka-chan shared the same room, which probably explained why they were so close.
“You’re gonna grow up to be trouble, you know that?”
“Not as bad as you, sis.”
“You’re asking for a punch.”
“Let’s not get violent now!”
Yawning, Chise climbed down from the top bunk.
“Morning, Amakawa.”
“Good morning.”
“What happened to ‘Happy New Year,’ sis?”
“New Year’s or not, morning’s still morning. Now stop messing around and let’s go eat breakfast. I’m starving.”
Chise grabbed both Ayaka-chan’s and my hands, pulling us out of the room.
I wondered if she was treating me like a little sister, too.
Now that I thought about it, I didn’t really know much about Inazuki’s family. Was she an only child, or did she have siblings? Since she never brought up any brothers or sisters, I guessed she might be an only child.
If Inazuki had a sister, they’d probably be really close.
They’d probably still bathe together, no matter how old they got. Inazuki was the type of person who was naturally close to others, always wanting to touch me for some reason.
Not that I minded when she touched me. In fact, the other day, I even let her touch me on purpose. So maybe that made me just as guilty.
Then again, being a bit clingy isn’t exactly a crime.
After greeting Chise’s parents with her and Ayaka-chan, they gave me a New Year’s envelope. I wasn’t even part of the family, so I felt a bit awkward about it. But the Haneda family had already started treating me like one of their own.
Maybe this closeness with others was a common trait these days.
Or maybe it was my sense of distance that was off.
A world where everyone was like family, where it was okay to touch anyone whenever they wanted…
No, that’s just going too far.
We ate mochi, played games with Ayaka-chan, and I even became Chise’s makeup practice model. That was pretty much all I did over the New Year holidays. I hadn’t planned how many days I’d stay at Chise’s, but I figured it was about time to head home, so I left.
When Ayaka-chan clung to me, begging me to stay longer, it made me a little sad, but I knew I couldn’t overstay my welcome. Their home wasn’t my place to be.
They were such a warm family.
They’d probably welcome anyone into their home, treating them like one of their own.
But…
I wanted a place that was just mine. If, for most people, a family was like that, then for someone like me, who lacked that, I couldn’t help but crave something special.
I knew it was childish.
But I longed for something that needed me, something that was special only to me, a place that belonged to me alone.
Adults probably don’t need something like that. They learn to compartmentalize, to deal with life rationally. But I couldn’t do that.
I wanted a place to return to.
Not for my body, but for my heart—a place where I could truly belong.
Maybe there wasn’t a place like that anywhere on Earth.
Sighing, I got off the train at Inazuki’s station. I’d already told her I’d be back today, but I wondered if she had returned from her family’s home yet.
I used to be so used to coming home to an empty house. But now, here I was, walking through the station, expecting someone to be there when I returned.
Maybe I’d grown weaker than I was before.
As I rubbed my cold hands together and passed through the ticket gate, I noticed someone leaning against the wall ahead.
“Inazuki?”
“Oh, Iroha.”
Standing there, with her nose red from the cold, was Inazuki.
How long had she been waiting for me?
She clutched a disposable hand warmer, her eyes fixed on me.
“You’re late, Iroha. From now on, when you tell me you’re coming home, be back in three minutes.”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“No, don’t apologize. I was joking.”
“But it’s true that I kept you waiting.”
I unwrapped the scarf I had around my neck and wrapped it around hers. The pastel-checkered scarf seemed to suit her better than it did me.
“You’ve been wearing this?”
“It was a present from you, Inazuki.”
The scarf was a gift from “Santa Inazuki” this past Christmas. It was the first time I’d ever gotten a present from someone pretending to be Santa, and the whole experience left me a little flustered, with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. It made me really happy.
That’s why I’ve been wearing this scarf every day lately.
It might be a bit too cute for me, but everything looks good on Inazuki. I even thought about getting her something similar in return.
“Aren’t you going to hold my hand?”
“You’ve got the hand warmer, so you don’t need it. Besides, my hands are colder than usual today.”
“That’s fine.”
She tucked the hand warmer into her pocket and extended her hand to me. But just as I was about to take it, she grabbed the bag slung over my other arm instead.
“Is this a robbery?”
“It looked heavy, so I’m carrying it for you.”
Inazuki flexed her arm like she was showing off her strength.
Though with her coat on, you couldn’t see anything.
“Thanks. Inazuki, are you stronger than me?”
My bag, which was packed with clothes and stuff for staying over, was pretty heavy, but Inazuki carried it easily.
“Maybe. I’ve been working out to maintain my figure, training my whole body.”
“Wow, that’s impressive. Maybe I should start working out too.”
“You’re fine just the way you are, Iroha. Natural is the cutest.”
“…I’m not so sure about that.”
I gently took Inazuki’s hand. Her hand, which had been holding the hand warmer, was too hot to the touch.
I couldn’t feel Inazuki’s natural body heat, but her softness was still there.
It felt like she was even softer because of the warmth, and I found that comforting.
We walked through the streets as the dry, cold wind blew around us. My neck felt a bit chilly without the scarf, but my hand was warm. More than that, though, my heart felt warm. I realized that right now, walking alongside Inazuki like this, was when I felt the happiest.
“Iroha, have you gone for your New Year’s visit to the shrine yet?”
“Yeah, I went with Chise’s family on New Year’s Day. What about you, Inazuki?”
“I haven’t gone yet. So, let’s go now.”
“Sure, but… isn’t that bag heavy? Maybe we should drop it off first.”
“It’s fine. I told you, I’m strong. Time won’t wait for us, so let’s hurry and go.”
My time was being overwritten by Inazuki’s.
She started walking with light, confident steps. Even though the winter air was freezing, her pace was no different than in the summer.
She looked so dazzling.
Inazuki always took my hand and led me somewhere. I couldn’t help but wish she could take me away to some place where my desire for something special wouldn’t matter anymore. That way, I wouldn’t feel the pain of seeing happy families, and maybe I could start trusting people more purely.
I knew that was impossible, though.
“Wow, it’s so crowded here,” Inazuki said cheerfully.
The shrine near Chise’s house hadn’t been crowded at all, but, as expected, there were tons of people in the city. The hustle and bustle of the streets hadn’t changed at all, whether it was Christmas, New Year’s, or just a regular day.
Families were everywhere, too. Children begged their parents for treats from the stalls, and the parents, with a resigned sigh, bought them what they wanted. Seeing scenes like that over and over made me smile, but it also left me feeling a bit lonely.
“Do you want one too, Inazuki? A taiyaki or something?”
“Wait, are you putting me in the same category as those kids?”
“Of course not. But maybe spending the past week with Chise rubbed off on me a little. I might’ve picked up some ‘big sister energy.’”
“What is that even supposed to mean? …Were you really looking after Chise’s sister?”
“Well, as best as I could. I can’t compete with a real big sister, though.”
We stood in line to make our offering at the shrine. In the distance, I could hear the jingling of bells.
I wondered what kind of wishes people made at times like this. Since I didn’t go to the shrine often, I wasn’t sure.
When I went to the shrine with Chise and the others, I made a pretty boring wish—something like “I hope everyone stays healthy.”
“Inazuki, you knew Chise had a little sister, huh?”
“I’ve been living as a high school student for over twenty years now, you know. And I’ve been with you long enough to know.”
Over twenty years.
If she really had lived through high school over and over, maybe that’s why she occasionally looked so lonely.
I found myself seriously thinking about her strange remarks. It was probably because I had seen a version of Inazuki who wasn’t the same person standing beside me now.
That version of Inazuki, and the spring breeze I had felt then, were too vivid to dismiss as just a fantasy.
I still wasn’t sure if I completely believed in the existence of that previous timeline.
For just a moment, the image of Inazuki, holding my hand, seemed to blur.
“Iroha. Do you think wishes really have power?”
I heard a voice.
Bright golden hair, silver earrings—two in each ear. This Inazuki was different again from the one I had seen before. She looked more mature, her small lips covered in a glossy lip gloss, and her voice seemed just a little deeper than usual.
“…Misora.”
“Huh?”
A sharp pain shot through my head.
The Misora—no, Inazuki—standing in front of me was looking at me with a surprised expression. Her face still looked young, and there were no silver earrings on her ears.
It was happening again.
I was seeing another time, another place. Maybe I was being too influenced by Inazuki’s strange remarks. But then, what was this aching feeling left in my chest?
“What’s wrong, Iroha?”
I gently touched her ear. Cold and soft, it was just like I remembered Inazuki’s ear—no hard piercings, just soft skin.
That familiar sensation gave me a small sense of relief.
As I absentmindedly touched her earlobe, Inazuki placed her hand over mine.
Now both my hands were holding hers, and we stood there in an awkward but oddly comforting pose.
“It’s almost our turn.”
“…Right.”
Inazuki answered, her expression turning melancholic.
I wondered if she, too, was seeing somewhere beyond here, somewhere out of reach.
I wished I could reach deep into her gaze, into the depths of her soul. But even with that longing, I couldn’t extend my hand any further. Silently, I let go of her ear, without saying a word.
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