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“Alright, I’m going to touch you.”

Inazuki’s hand touched my throat. Offering someone access to such a vulnerable spot felt dangerous and twisted. But when it was Inazuki, my instincts for self-preservation seemed to fall asleep. I didn’t feel any urge to pull away or sense any danger from her touch.
She moved her fingers separately, gently stroking my throat. It was a little ticklish, but not enough to make me burst out laughing.

Then, it came to me.

I hadn’t said it the last time, hesitating until the moment had passed, but now I thought maybe I could. Though, saying it wouldn’t really change anything.

“Meow.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing.”

Maybe it was better I hadn’t said it. Thinking about it, there was nothing particularly fun about saying “meow.” I thought I might feel more like a cat, but even when I meowed, I was still me.

…Even if I meow, I’m still me. It sounded like something out of a free-verse haiku. But, so what?

“That was cute, but it was kind of sudden… Say it again.”
“Meow.”
“…Yeah, that’s nice.”

This was taking a strange turn.

As I felt the tickling sensation, she continued stroking my throat. Her fingers moved up, brushing along my jaw, touching my cheek, and then stroking behind my ear.

When she softly scratched around my earlobe with her nails, my body jolted just a little. It wasn’t just ticklish—it was a bit embarrassing. I’d never had anyone look at or touch my ears so closely before, and it made me a little nervous.

“Ticklish?”
“Lish.”
“That’s some abbreviation.”

Inazuki chuckled softly and started to stroke my hair, running her fingers through it as if combing it.

“Why are you doing that?”
“I wanted to.”
“So true to your desires.”
“That’s just how I am.”
“That’s very Inazuki indeed.”

She continued to stroke my head for a while, but eventually, seeming satisfied, her fingers moved down toward my stomach. She unbuttoned my blazer and then began to undo the buttons of my blouse. She had stroked me over my clothes before as I drifted off to sleep, but this was the first time her hand touched my bare skin directly.

Her warm fingers glided over my cold stomach, leaving behind a sensation that lingered as if invisible lines had been etched onto my skin. As she touched more of my stomach, the entire area slowly became enveloped by the feeling of her hand.

I couldn’t remember what it felt like not to be touched. My stomach was filled entirely with her. Her warmth seeped in, gently spreading through my cold skin, until it was completely saturated with heat. I felt like I might get burned. It wasn’t the ticklishness, but the heat that made me think I might lose control.

“How does this feel?”
“It’s not that ticklish.”
“I see… Iroha, your stomach is really toned, and your belly button is a nice shape too.”
“Inazuki, sometimes you say the strangest things. Like how my throat is pretty or how I’m going to get curvy.”

Her hand moved lower, slipping beneath my skirt. She traced her fingers just above my knee.

It reminded me of tracing kanji in a workbook with a pencil—cautious, as if she was searching for the correct way. Her expression was completely serious. Who knew someone could take the act of tickling this seriously? People really do have unexpected potential, I thought to myself.

“Curvy is a pretty normal thing to say.”
“Not for me.”
“Then, Iroha, you’re the one who’s not normal.”
“Yeah, I guess so. If it’s between normal and abnormal, I’d say I’m definitely abnormal.”

But then again, Inazuki searching for my ticklish spots in someone else’s house on Christmas was pretty abnormal too. Saying the things she does, she’s far from ordinary.

“But… sometimes, it’s because we’re abnormal that we can say certain things.”

I reached out and touched her face. Her cheek was, of course, warm.

Inazuki is just… Inazuki.

No matter where we are, or what we’re doing. In any timeline, she would never change.

“I’m glad I met you, Inazuki.”

One day, I would have to part ways with her. I’ve always lacked the ability to hold onto specific people, and I never managed to maintain close relationships.

Loving someone in the truest sense of the word was hard for me. I couldn’t trust, and so I would let the thin bonds I had with people grow thinner, until I finally erased them with my own hands.

But right now, being with Inazuki made me happy. I don’t know if it’s from the bottom of my heart, but I think I love her. And I’m glad we met. This feeling wasn’t a lie. It was fleeting, yes, but because it was happening now, I wanted to tell her now.

“I’m glad you’re not normal, Iroha.”

As she said this, her fingers moved down below my knees. It was a little ticklish, but still, I couldn’t laugh.

“I’m also glad I met you, Iroha.”
“You’re saying that while touching the bottom of my foot.”
“Your feet are cold. It feels nice.”
“There you go saying something weird again.”

She traced the arch of my foot, drawing small circles with her fingers, before moving them back up along my leg. My skirt lifted slightly as her fingers attempted to go even further.

“I don’t think I’ll be ticklish there.”
“…You’re right.”

She replied with a subtle smile, as if she was trying to cover something up. Brushing down my skirt, I stood up.

“We didn’t find it, did we?”
“Wait. One last spot. Show me your arm.”
“Hmm… fine.”

I extended my arm to Inazuki, who had also stood up.

She pressed her fingers into my palm, then slowly moved them up my arm, like a brush sweeping gently across the skin. It was the same way she’d touched my legs. I was just thinking that when suddenly, she grabbed my arm.

Uh… what is this?

“Iroha.”

She pulled me into an embrace. Then, she whispered into my ear.

“I really do love you, Iroha. You’re different from the Iroha I knew before, but you’re still Iroha. I want to stay with you. Today, tomorrow, and beyond… always.”

I felt like my name, “Iroha,” was starting to lose meaning, collapsing under the weight of her words.

Why was she saying this now?

Our bond was fragile, more delicate than a thin thread. The love that began in a different timeline felt too surreal to believe in. And wishing to be together forever felt uncertain, as if it was built on nothing solid.

I love Inazuki.

But even though I did, I didn’t have the ability to trust someone completely. If I were to wish to stay with her forever, and we spent our time together, what if one of us grew distant over time? What if, one day, one of us simply decided it was enough and wanted to walk away? I wondered if, after that, I could ever truly want to be with someone else again.

Impossible.

I wasn’t that adaptable. I wasn’t strong enough to keep trusting different people over and over again. It took me so long to trust even one person. If there was someone I wanted to stay with forever, it would probably only be one person in my entire life. I couldn’t even have that kind of feeling for my parents. Could I direct it toward Inazuki?

And even if the day came when I could, would Inazuki accept it? Would she really stay with me forever? Both she and I lacked the faith we needed to believe in that. When did I start thinking that relationships between people were bound to fade away?

“Can two people really stay together forever?”
“They can. I believe I can stay with you forever, Iroha.”
“Why do you believe that?”
“Because you’re you, Iroha.”

But who was I, really?

What was Inazuki even seeing in me?

“If you can’t believe it, I’ll stay with you until you do. Until you get tired of being with me, stay with me.”
“…O…kay.”

When Inazuki hugged me, it wasn’t just my body that warmed up—it was my heart too. I wanted to surrender everything to her. But the calm part of my mind whispered that I shouldn’t, so I gently pushed against her chest.

“I’ll stay with you. I don’t know about forever, but…”
“That’s fine. …Let’s finish decorating the tree, okay?”

Inazuki picked up a silver garland and draped it over the tree.

The silver garland overlapped with the gold one I had put up earlier, and together, they seemed to shine brighter than before. Inazuki finished by adding the lights to the tree, then plugged them in.

“Well then, time for the lighting ceremony! Hey, Iro-chan, turn off the living room lights,”

What kind of mood was this supposed to be? Uh, what should I say?

“Uh, r-right. Got it, Ina-chan.”

I turned off the lights in the living room, and at the same time, the tree lights blinked to life. Colorful bulbs twinkled in the darkness, illuminating the ornaments.

The tree at school was bigger, with more decorations. So why did this one seem more beautiful? Inazuki’s face, painted in the tree’s colorful glow, was lit up with a happy smile.

“So? How does it feel to decorate a tree for the first time?”
“…I think I kind of understand why people enjoy decorating trees.”
“Good to hear.”

I stared at the tree absentmindedly. This kind of thing was probably meant for much younger kids. But even as a first-year high school student, I found myself thinking, this is fun. Probably. If Inazuki hadn’t been here, I would have never known this feeling, not for my entire life.

Wandering around at night, skipping breakfast to go out, decorating a Christmas tree—everything I did with Inazuki left a lasting mark on me, becoming a solid experience deep inside. I knew that the more memories I created, the more painful it would be later. It was like writing a letter. The more emotion you poured into it, the deeper the hurt when it was discarded. Any memory, once thrown away, would lose its meaning.

Will Inazuki throw away our memories? Will I?

I didn’t know. I wanted to treasure every memory I made, but in the end, I was human. And humans are creatures that can easily throw things away. That’s why I couldn’t fully trust myself.

“Beautiful.”

I whispered softly.

“What is? Me?”
“Everything. You, the things around you, the things you’ve given me. Everything is beautiful.”
“…Is it your job to make me blush, Iroha?”

For someone who said so much, Inazuki really was shy.

I wanted to see more of her expressions. I wanted to know more about her. That desire to know her better must have meant that, at least for now, I wanted to stay with her.

Right now, I want to be with her.

Tomorrow too, if possible, I want to be with her.

I wasn’t sure about forever.

I wish feelings could stay the same once they’ve been born.

But what made us humans was that we found that difficult to achieve.

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