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Chapter 3-7: Successive disasters

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Author: We Ain’t Fish Original Source: SFACG Word Count: 1665 characters
Translator: FrozenFirez English Source: Re:Library Word Count: 1034 words
Translation Checker: Silva Editor(s): Deximus_Maximus

“Er… can you tell me, why?”

Within the carriage, I was ‌interrogating the young girl before me as though she was a criminal.

“What…what why?” Thea’s body seemed to have special light effects pre-installed within, as her entire body was suffused with warm and gentle light. However, when faced with my question, her eyes started to waver as she attempted to avoid the topic.

However, there is no way I’m going to let her off after the massive commotion earlier. Crossing my fingers, I pressured her even more: “The esteemed Luminous Theocracy Saintess, the future leader of the Theocracy, had ‌choked on a small meatball. No matter how I think about it, that isn’t normal at all. So please answer me. I can be lenient if you’re honest, or I must punish you if you resist. If you don’t wish for me to broadcast this matter to the entire country, you better give me the facts.”

“T-T-This… this is naturally just an accident…” Thea forced a smile on her face, though beads of cold sweat continued to slide off her forehead.

“Eh~really? Then why are your subordinates so familiar with choking protocol, like this wasn’t the first time, but something that had occurred quite often?”

“How… how is that possible? This is all because of them having gone through specialized training. Yes, that’s right!” Thea shook her head fervently towards my guesses and doubts, causing her entire being to sink into an exceedingly destabilizing state.

“Oh? However, why do they have to do specialized training on how to deal with choking on a meatball?”

“Please, I beg you to stop asking me! I…I can’t take it anymore! If you continue asking it… it will be…”

Oh, really? She can’t even handle this little pressure? But how can I give up just like that? I’m…


With a loud bang, the carriage instantly shook violently, before ear-splitting metallic screeches rang out from beneath the carriage. This continued on for a long while before the carriage gradually stabilized.

“Dammit! The carriage wheel’s broken!”
“Quickly! Hurry ‌and check if the esteemed Saintess is alright.”

Suddenly, the carriage window was pulled open, before Alucard’s nervous looking face thrust in from outside: “Are you alright, esteemed Saintess?”

“I’m… I’m alright.” Thea slowly raised herself straight up from her seat before replying.

“Your subordinate will immediately start treatment for you.”

“No… no need. It’s just a scrape.” Saintess Thea stopped Alucard’s healing magic before asking, “Are you two benefactors alright?”

“I’m absolutely… alright.” Because of the exceedingly weak materials used in the construction of this carriage, I had to pull my head out of the hole I’d made. Straightening my mask, I shook my head before giving my reply.

“Oh~ me too,” Sae replied with indifference. Earlier, that lass had teleported out of the carriage for an instant and had just returned without anyone noticing.

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“Why would a well-maintained carriage wheel suddenly break?” Sae turned her gaze and swept her eyes across the strange acting Thea’s body, “There should be some specific reason, right?”

“This…that’s because…” nervousness engulfed Thea’s face as her gaze wavered, with hesitation filling her voice.

“Hey! What’s the matter with you two! It’s ‌because of you two fellows of dubious origin that brought about this matter! Yet, you two dare to put the blame on our esteemed Saintess? Don’t think this old man will go easy with you guys!” Alucard snapped at Sae in fury.

“Sigh… did I ever lay the blame on her? Isn’t this considered a confession?”
“You! Do you know who you’re talking to, you mere commoner! You ‌dare to be disrespectful to our esteemed Saintess! You two will suffer the punishment from the Goddess!”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in gods. My master’s the only one I worship.”

Finishing her reply, Sae turned her head around, proceeding to ignore Alucard. With an unforgiving expression plastered on his face, Alucard rolled his sleeves up in preparations to drill into the carriage while roaring, “Hmph, you disbeliever. Today, I, Theocracy Priest Alucard, will teach you might of the Goddess.”

“Enough!” suddenly, the ever so gentle Thea snapped in anger, “It’s just a minor matter! Is it even worth arguing about? Why not hurry ‌and repair it…”


Yet another loud bang rang out, before our surroundings suddenly lit up. Sunlight had poured in through the foliage above us, creating an interweaving pattern of dots across the carriage part present beneath us.

The carriage…had fallen apart…

“Oh, don’t you think ‌you should slim down, old man. Look at you! You’ve caused the carriage to fall apart.”
“That’s not the case!” Alucard tried to refute my words, before shooting a worried look at Thea, “Esteemed… esteemed Saintess…”
“It’s all because of me…” with a sobbing voice, Thea hugged her head while mumbling, “It’s all because of me…”
“Es… esteemed Saintess, you must pull yourself together! If you don’t…”
“Rock… a giant rock! It’s rolling over!!”

Thunderous rumbles rang out, as a giant rock the size of a small hill came rolling down from a higher elevation with unstoppable momentum.

“Knights! Holy Knights! Block the giant rock!”

Every single platinum armor-wearing Holy Knight stepped forwards. Hoisting their massive human-sized shields, they formed a metallic line. After facing imminent peril, they blocked the giant rock.

“I’m… I’m sorry…It’s all because of me…”
“Landslide! Those on the left be careful!”

Despite the utter lack of rain over the past few days, the flowing landslide brought along giant rocks and the lush forest and gushed towards us with unstoppable momentum.

“Priests! All the priests! Block it for me!”

The priests that helped the Saintess with her meatball choke-scare stepped forward, unleashing Light element magic spells to stop the onslaught of the landslide.

“Wu hu hu… all because of me…”
“Meteorite! Oh my heavens!!”

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A gigantic meteorite with a long red flaming tail hurtled towards us with impeccable accuracy. Seeing this, the corners of High Priest Alucard’s mouth turned stiff, before two streams of tears flowed down his aged face:

“Everyone… please smile. At the very least, we… will leave with a smile on our faces…”


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