Chapter 3-6: One must consume food slowly

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Author: We Ain’t Fish Original Source: SFACG Word Count: 1819 characters
Translator: FrozenFirez English Source: Re:Library Word Count: 1299 words
Translation Checker: Silva Editor(s): Deximus_Maximus

“Can…can I really have some?”
“Sigh. Stop keeping up this nonsense. Since I told you to sit down, just sit down, would you.”
“No buts. If you continue, I’ll get angry, you know.”
“Oh…okay, sorry for the intrusion.”

Saintess Thea strode over shyly before taking a seat. Nevertheless, despite her obviously feeling somewhat uncomfortable, she held the knife and fork with ease, though she was clearly at a loss on how to start on the food present on the table. She continued to sweep her gaze over the large pile of food present, appearing as though this was the first time she had seen so many delicious foods in her life.

That’s strange. Isn’t she a Saintess? Why does she have a lost look present on her face?

“Okay. Just enjoy the meal. I’m not lacking in food.”
“I’m truly grateful for that. Not only have you saved us, but you’re even sharing your food with us.”
“No problem, no problem. That’s just a small matter.”

Ever since I’ve experienced the severe pangs of hunger during my stay in the auction house, I’ve sworn to always carry food with me, no matter the time or place. Therefore, I had personally designated a storage ring solely to store various kinds of food in case of any emergency. The isolated space within a storage ring is not affected by time, so any food placed within would never go bad at all. However, the rule made it incapable of storing living organisms, so it could only be used to store cooked food.

So as for how much I can store… Sae and I have yet to even consume a tenth of what I’m carrying. Therefore, there was absolutely no problem giving an ordinary human some of our food. After all, it is impossible for her to have a bigger appetite than me.

As for her subordinates…they can go have their dry rations. I’m not that good-hearted to give food towards people who had shown unrestrained killing intent towards me.

“Then I’ll start digging in.”

True to her title as a Saintess. Regardless of her movements or her posture, there was nothing present within Thea’s actions that would’ve been worthy of critique. With movements akin to that of an exquisite dance, she pushed an ordinary meatball gently through her rosebud lips.

Huh? Why did she have to choose a meatball? Someone as rich as me would naturally not bring along such low-grade food. Food like meatballs which are made of god knows what kind of living organism could be said to be the most low-cost kind of food present on this entire dining table. After sweeping away all of the high-grade foodstuffs, I had no choice but to buy some plebeian food to fill up my storage ring. Yet, why would she, a Saintess, choose such a food? This was exceedingly ridiculous! Furthermore, with a look of anticipation and enjoyment, she placed the meatball slowly within her mouth, appearing as though she had just enjoyed the most delicious flavor present beneath the heavens!

“Wait!” Just as Thea was about to place the meatball into her mouth, Alucard suddenly appeared, and with a face filled with shock, he hastily shouted out, “What are you eating, Lady Saintess!”

“Huh? A meatball.”

“Meat…meatball? Such a dangerous food…” Alucard’s mind collapsed, before turning abruptly towards us, “You heathens! The Saintess had shown such benevolence to send you two to your destination! I never expected you two to be that sinister to make our esteemed Saintess eat dangerous food like a meatball! Doesn’t it hurt your conscience?”

What is this fellow…talking about?

“Huh? Is there something wrong with your brain? What’s so dangerous about a meatball? Could it be that you’re suspecting me of adding poison to it? I can take a bite if you want.”

“No! If there’s poison, I won’t be worried at all. After all, our esteemed Saintess has a physique that’s immune to a hundred poisons. However, why meatballs…the meatballs that our esteemed Saintess loves the most…”

“Don’t say anymore, Alucard.” All of a sudden, Thea interrupted Alucard’s speech with a resolute tone, “I know what you’re worried about. However, if I am not even able to step past this little impediment, and not even eat the food that I love…how can I possess the qualifications to be your leader, or have the qualifications to rule the Theocracy?”

“Oh esteemed Saintess!!” turning emotional, tears flowed down Alucard’s face before abruptly kneeling down, “This lowly one swears to follow you to the death! However, we cannot sit back and watch you do such a dangerous thing, esteemed Saintess. Please allow us to protect you.”

A faint smile appeared on Saintess Thea’s face, appearing just a sunrise: “Okay, I’ll trouble you all then.”

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Therefore, every single one of Saintess Thea’s subordinates gathered behind her, with all of them focusing their eyes on the meatball which Thea was slowly placing within her mouth.

“Erm erm, what the hell are they doing, oh great Lilith?”
“Only god knows. Perhaps that esteemed Saintess has some kind of allergy to meatballs.”
“Aren’t allergies extremely easy to treat with healing magic?”
“You’re right. However, I’m truly unable to come up with any excuse other than that. Is there any other way a meatball could deal physical damage to a Saintess?”

With no added poison or any magic spell, I’m truly unable to think of any reason that could allow an ordinary meatball to cause harm to Saintess Thea, nor make her subordinates feel so nervous and flustered. She wouldn’t choke on it, right…


All of a sudden, after consuming the meatball, Saintess Thea clutched her throat, while her eyes snapped wide open, before turning green and falling off from her chair. At this moment, her behaviour was utterly devoid of any of the grace and elegance she had carried herself with before. Furthermore, her entire being had turned dark and gloomy. Grasping at the leg of the table with her fingernails like a female ghost, she forced out a word from her throat with much difficulty:


She really had choked on it!!

Appearing to have predicted this event, Alucard barked out orders in a calm and collected manner: “1st knight squadron, grab hold of our esteemed Saintess. Don’t let her flail about.”


A few tall and big knights strode forward and supported Thea, before pressing her back to the chair with practiced movements.

“2nd knight squadron, unleash high speed punches towards the esteemed Saintess’ back. Make sure to not injure her.”


The few people who were restraining Thea were shaken to dizziness by Thea’s flailings. As this happened, a knight stood forward, before unleashing high speed punches invisible to the naked eye towards Thea’s back, causing her to make continuous “er er er er er” sounds.

“3rd priest squadron, prepare magnetism magic.”


A grey-robed old man stood before Thea, before pointing his staff at her. After sprouting a rapid chant, a milky white line shot out from his staff towards Thea’s unconsciously opened mouth.

“It’s coming…it’s coming, it’s coming out, hah!!”

As the grey-robed old man gave a low roar, the milky white light finally reeled out the meatball Thea had placed earlier into her mouth.

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