Author: Starving Wind | Original Source: Joara | Word Count: 2911 characters |
Translator: Anonymouss | English Source: Re:Library | Word Count: 1673 words |
Editor(s): Robin |
Horror of the unknown. People say that all humans have a basic instinct to fear it. They also all agree that the number one thing that would accurately represent that unknown would be death itself. But in my case, I was shocked to realize that my cause of death would be end-stage cancer. The pain that constantly wrecked my body was so extreme that it sometimes made me go crazy, even with enormous amounts of pain-relieving medication. Perhaps, that was the reason why I desperately wished for death.
No, perhaps it was better to say I simply wished to be put to rest. As I had reached my maximum tolerance both physically and mentally…
As my consciousness faded away, I started to lose sensations from my nervous system, what followed was extreme futility. Then, all thoughts ceased.
My thoughts slowly started up again a long time after I lost my consciousness. At least, that’s what it felt like.
In this paradoxical location where the space was both open and closed at the same time, my mind simply floated on.
And before me was a black silhouette sprouting endless threads which seemed to be connected to my will. I found myself thinking that the view was quite beautiful while I was basking in the colorful light emitted by those threads, both thick and thin.
But not all of them were beautiful. There were some that turned dull gray, and even some threads that lost their luster entirely before turning black.
The one thread that stood out to me was the brightest of them all, but it was so thin that I felt it could snap at any moment. It was the most beautiful thread I’d ever seen. In that situation where it was barely holding onto its structure, I anxiously watched the thread.
My hunch was soon proven right. That thread finally snapped in no time. In that very moment, my existence was pulled towards the direction of the disconnected thread.
Then, a light that was hard to describe with words enveloped me completely.
~~~~~~~~~~
Beep—Beep1
A sound that rang with a fixed interval was heard. It didn’t take long until that weak sound slowly became louder and louder until it became intolerable for anyone who was listening.
That rhythm felt like it was synchronized with my heartbeat.
Heartbeat? What a joke. If I was actually alive, then I would probably be making a sneering face at myself.
A heartbeat from someone that’s dead. Is that even possible?
If I was alive, then my body should move according to my will.
Now then, let’s try moving my hands. As I thought, I couldn’t feel anything on that side. I didn’t have any hands to move in the first place. Then it should be a delusion. If that’s the case, where am I? In the underworld? Do I just need to wait while feeling completely powerless?
Time continued to flow ceaselessly.
The regular sound of the beep that I was hearing started to feel like a torture.2
I decided in the end that it was finally time to do something. Then just as I thought so, I opened the wall that was blocking me from viewing the world.
With my eyesight slowly recovering, I feel something foreign covering my nose and my mouth. It appeared like it was a translucent mask.
Ventilator? Then perhaps I survived. But if that’s the case, when did I do the operation and was that operation a success? It was end-stage cancer. Did a miracle occur?
An endless amount of thoughts bashed against my head.
Finally, my vision shifted toward the ceiling. The shades of the ceiling light helped shield my eyes from directly looking into the bulb that was shining from inside, keeping me from blinding myself.
I tried to turn my head, but my body wouldn’t listen, as if my whole body had been put under anesthesia.
I opened my mouth, trying to call for help, but my voice didn’t come out at all.
It felt like I was having a nightmare where I can’t move. A feeling of absolute lethargy started to press down onto my body. However, I never thought of it as something scary. I’ve already nearly become a ghost, and I was not afraid of my death.
In that moment,
Click!
I heard clicking a sound, and with it followed the sound of the door swinging open as well as clicks of heel shoes.
‘I’m awake.’
Is what I wanted to yell out, but my voice didn’t come out at all.
“Let’s see. Name is Elizabeth. Eighteen years old yet completely unconscious. It’s a shame for someone so young. Doesn’t matter if she’s rich, the world is cruel to all.”
I heard the sounds of someone checking as they flip through a chart of some kind. It was a voice that seemed to belong to a young woman. If this was a hospital, then it would be highly likely that she is a nurse, and since she’s speaking nonsense, there must be a foreigner patient in the bed next to mine. It was a very uncommon thing to happen, but not impossible as well, so I didn’t pay it too much attention even though I thought something was wrong.
That’s right. The important thing is to show that I have regained my consciousness.
“In any case, her skin is really smooth and beautiful! I guess she had people take care of her skin with her plentiful money. Ah, once I get my monthly wage, I should do some skincare as well!”
Hey, nurse. I’m awake right now, pay some attention to me!
“Oh my, look at how clear and defined her facial features are. Her lips are so red that it looks like it has lipstick on them. Wow, she really is a blessed being after all. And her big round emerald-colored eyes as wel… Huh?”
My eyes met together with the nurse’s. I knew that I was powerless to move my body, but I didn’t know that I was able to move my eyeball at will. I needed to signify that I was awake to her somehow, and before I realized it I was moving my eyes rapidly and thankfully the nurse was close enough to discern the detail.
Ah, to be precise, the nurse came up to me. But for some reason, my nurse’s face looked quite like a foreigner…
Unless a Korean put on a colored lens, they wouldn’t usually have blue eyes, isn’t that the norm? On top of that, if she truly is a native Korean person, it would be impossible for her to have blonde hair.
Foreigner. Right. I was finally able to tell the difference in her speech as well. She was definitely speaking not Korean, but English. Yet, for some reason, I was naturally able to comprehend it.
Even I was slightly surprised by the fact that I was understanding it like I was a native.
“Oh my! The patient has awakened. What am I doing!?”
The nurse had an expression that was as surprised as I was, and quickly ran out of the patient’s room.
I had a feeling that I needed to reorganize my mind that was in a mess.
First, the hardest thing to understand was that I was alive. And that I was understanding English at 100%. I’m unsure of how fluently I can speak it since I can’t make a sound, but why is it that I’m able to understand it like a native? The problem is that I had acquired this skill after reawakening from my supposed death…3
But if I cannot move my body at will until the day I die again, wouldn’t it all be useless?
I put all my effort into trying to move again. As if I was trying to escape a nightmare where my body couldn’t move.
‘Let’s breathe in and out, then try to move my fingers first.’
I calmed my slightly panicking mind, and concentrated my mind onto the tips of my fingers to try and move it.
Flinch!
As I thought, my decision was correct. Although I couldn’t move my whole body, I was able to successfully take control of the ends of my finger at least.
Thump, thump!
I heard sounds of numerous boots thumping on the ground as if there was a war going on. I was already on edge with trying to concentrate on moving, so the annoyance became multiplicative on my mood.
“Oooh! You’re awake.”
“It’s a miracle!”
A group of elderly Western doctors wearing white gowns flooded in and checked my status.
In any case, why did they check me into a foreign English speaking hospital? I know that my little sister is able to afford it… But this is certainly too much.4
“To think your consciousness has regained as well! This is truly hard to explain in medical ways. To be in a completely vegetative state, yet regain full consciousness the very next day!”
“We have to report to the main head of the family right away.”
As I heard these elderly men constantly looking at me while yelling a bunch of things, my head started to ache from all the commotion. I wanted to yell but my voice wouldn’t come out.
“Since you have regained consciousness, can we ask a few questions?”
I shook my head side to side. Thankfully I had enough strength to move my neck, and the meaning was delivered to them.
“Hm. Seeing as how furrowed the brows are, she must be tired. Let’s leave for now.”
“I also agree with that notion. Let’s go and contact them first.”
And with that, all of them quietly left the room after telling the nurse to keep an eye on me.
With silence coming back to the room, my headache disappeared pretty quickly as well.
A number of questions came to my mind, but I had no time to think about them as drowsiness assaulted my body and I suddenly drifted off to sleep.
Footnotes:
- Robin: Would be really awkward if his reincarnated self flatlined immediately.
- Robin: Some sonic version of chinese water torture? Poor guy.
Anonymouss: I mean, if you know you’re dead, yet you keep hearing hopeful heartbeats yet you still can’t wake up, it’s pretty torturous xD
- Robin: There are actually stories of people coming out of comas and perfectly understanding foreign languages. Similar cases can be found with those who develop dissociative identity disorder. Fun fact for the week.
- Robin: A rich imouto?! Grrrrr what an enviable onii-chan.
Anonymouss: The older brother worked to his bone and even more to make sure that he was rich and handed everything he had to imouto so she will live happily~
Silva: Meh, I’m sure Robin is just thinking of wanting to leech off his *imaginary* imouto