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「Misakin, why are you so cute?」

She suddenly said, with the same tone as a child asking how babies are made.
Just so you know, I don’t necessarily profess that I was a former boy genderbent into a Super Beauty at any given opportunity.
Had I done that, I would’ve been seen as a girl with some screws loose. Straight up bullied.

「That’s because I’m a Super Beauty. A legendary beauty awakened by keeping a calm heart while experiencing burning rage¹.」
「What are you even angry for?」

My joke isn’t landing; it’s no fun. However, I somehow changed the topic.
Rion remained sitting on my lap, and she had her nose right in front of my forehead. She then began sniffing.

「So go〜od. What shampoo are you using?」
「I don’t know, and you’re too close. Anyway, could you get off of me?」
「There’s no way you don’t know. Send it a pic of it later, then.」
「I get it, so get off already. You’re heavy.」

No matter what I say, she’s not getting off at all. Rion then scoops my hair towards her and begins fiddling with the bundle. And as if recalling something, she abruptly raised her head.

「Oh right, have you reconciled with Miyumiyu yet?」
「R-reconciled? What are you talking about? We didn’t get into a fight… or anything?」
「*Eh*～? But you did, though〜?」

Does she perhaps think that we got into a fight yesterday?
After all, we didn’t talk to each other and we didn’t eat together either.

「You know, Miyumiyu was super jealous when you were taken by someone else.」
「*Eh*? For real?」
「It was seriously scary. She looked like she was going to kill someone.」

*Oh?* Miyumiyu? This is my first time hearing this, though?
She looked like she wasn’t affected, but is the truth perhaps different?

「Anyway, there wasn’t a fight. We’re completely back to normal, no, even closer than before, actually.」
「What, that’s boring.」
「The hell you mean boring.」
「I me～an, people getting into fights is really fun to watch, you know!」

Pure-blooded psychopath s̲h̲i̲t̲.
It’s not like I don’t get it, but with my life being involved, it’s not really something I can enjoy.

「Oh, and Miyu apparently has a person she likes.」
「R-really? She said that? Did she, l-like, say who it was?」
「Nope. She was kinda like, *I’ll kill you if you ask*.」

I have no idea how their conversation went, but that’s so scary.
Still, she definitely means me, doesn’t she? It has to be me. It must be me.

「Sniff, sniff, *haa*, that’s the s̲h̲i̲t̲～」

Rion brought the bundle of my hair near her nose for a whiff and had an ecstatic look.
Her strange behavior has stood out for a while now, but in spite of that, she’s apparently popular.
Her impressive facial features do play a part, but she also has the cuteness of a pet animal.

Had I remained the introverted boy that I was, she might even get me going, ‘*Haa-haa, Riontan, so cute.*’
I don’t feel that way now, though.

「*Nom, nom, nom.*」
「Stop it, don’t eat it.」

How do I describe it? She’s like an annoyingly clingy little sister. Not that I have one.
If I had a real little sister, I’d like the, 「Onii turned into a girl!²」 thing to happen. What a life, being educated by my own little sister.

「If Miyumiyu ever abandons you, just tell me, okay? Rion will be sure to adopt you.」
「Who are you calling a pet?」
「I’m going to have your hair in a twin-tail and take good care of you〜」
「Don’t just arbitrarily convert me.」

So a life of being disciplined by a little sister is still possible?
No, no, stop thinking of ominous stuff; seriously.

By the way, this woman acts this way, but I wonder if she has a boyfriend. I wonder if she’s ever dated men before.

I haven’t consciously thought about things like this up until now, but I guess I’ve grown a bit more adult since yesterday.
And now I’m suddenly curious about other people’s, you know, so-and-so. It’s super awkward to ask about it, but I’ll still try.

「S-say, Rion-chan, like, have you ever… K-k-kissed someone?」
「I sure haveー I do it with pappy and mammy frequently, you know?」

Pappyyy!?
Is her family from the West, or something? That’s progressive in a way, I guess.

「What? You want to kiss Rion too, Misakin? I don’t mind it if it’s you. *Mwaaa*-」
「S-stop it, you fool!」

She pursed her lips, projecting it out. In a panic, I pushed her whole head away, but for a moment I felt her lips graze my cheek. Is this girl serious?
Rion cocked her head in confusion.

「Why so flustered, Misakin? Aren’t you surprisingly pure?」
「P-pure…? Me…?」

Of all people, this childlike girl is the one to call me pure.
How is she able to do this without any shame or embarrassment?
It must be her environment. If not her genes.

「*Hmn*〜 What a cutie you are. Is this perhaps your first time? There’s nothing to be afraid of〜」

She stubbornly tries to hug my face with the intent of rubbing cheek-to-cheek. Like some unscrupulous governor³. With an open palm to her cheek, I pushed her away.

「Eringi is staring at us with lewd eyes, so I guess I’ll stop.」

Rion flashes Eringi-kun a teasing expression.
I thought Rion was air-headed, but she’s surprisingly conscious of the people around her. There’s even a suspicion that she might be a schemer whose every action is planned and calculated. In my mind, that is.

While I have 255 points in Coolness, what Miyu wants from me is Cuteness⁴.
However, I genuinely have no idea how I should even start. The fastest way to gain cuteness would be to mimic girls like Rion. I guess I’ll try an apprenticeship then.

「Rion. I have a genuine favor to ask.」
「Hit me like you mean it!」
　
Every sentence leaving her mouth is so annoying. I’m having second thoughts.

「… You think you’re just the cutest person in the world, don’t you?」
「*Mn*? Not at all? I acknowledge Misakin’s cuteness.」
「… Well. thanks. Then what about Miyu?」
「Miyu’s cute but scary.」

What happened?
Rion then turns both of her pointing fingers to her own face.

「Well, Rion is an aspiring idol, after all.」
「*Ha?* Actually?」

First time I’ve ever heard that.
It’s not like this is an idol training school, after all. Well, I guess if it’s just aspiring, anyone can be one.

「Then Misakin, let’s form a unit together! Let’s sing and dance together at, like, the school festival or something!」
「Nope, wouldn’t do it even if it kills me.」
「Why though? That’s such a waste of your looks, Misakin. Why won’t you aim to be an idol?」

Please don’t speak with the assumption that every beautiful girl should aspire to be an idol.
I’m an introvert at heart, so I can’t do that at all. I’d just die.

「What about joining a beauty contest? Or becoming a model!」
「No, no, you say it like it’s easy, but those are tough work.」

I don’t have any desire to be active in front of a stage at all. I’m happy enough to see the people around me being happy. In the first place, I just don’t have the capacity for that.

Besides, I find girls who aren’t interested in that stuff more attractive.
I personally find, like, the pretty girl engrossed in sports or the pretty older lady with a normal job to be more of my preference.

「Then what about uploading videos on TikTok? That’s right, let’s do a video together.」
「Let’s not do a video together.」
「Oh, I got a great idea! Why don’t we make a video of us flirting together? Like the Business Yuri⁵ thing! With Misaki, it’d absolutely gain a lot of traction!」

The Schemer Rion theory is gaining more authenticity.
Maybe this is part of the reason why she often approaches me, too.

Still, Miyutan genuinely hates the scheming types.
So I guess no apprenticeship, huh.

「Well, anyway, find someone else to do that with.」
「*Eh*ー? Anyone else other than Misakin is impossible!」

Rion swings her clenched hand in a tantrum. The a̲s̲s̲ on my lap is so soft.
Suddenly, Rion stares at me with upturned eyes, peering into my eyes with her head cocked to the side.

「No way? Do you hate Rion?」

She’s obviously flaunting her most adorable angle.
I considered countering her with a Super Beauty Smile, but while I’m high in strength, I’m low ub defense.

So with her staring at me so close, I can’t look her straight in the eye; please stop it.
Like some introverted older brother pressed by a deviously cute little sister, I could only look away.

「I-I don’t hate you… But…」
「But…?」

She moved her face to my line of sight.
I instinctively leaned backwards, and the window hit the back of my head. With nowhere else to escape, Rion’s face slowly draws closer and closer.
And then, the school chime rang. Rion’s eyes went wide open and she loosened her lips.

「*Hmph*, saved by the bell you were, Misakin.」

After making a kissing noise right in front of my face, Rion displayed a satisfied smile and got off my lap. 「Let’s make a video sometime, then～」 And so the storm passed.
It seems like she didn’t listen to me at all.

「Haa…」

I pick up the smartphone that’s been sitting on top of my desk.
I was going to turn it off since I’d rather not have it confiscated again when I saw that there was a notification.
Another Line from Miyu came.

『Misaki, have you always been close with Rion??』
『Don’t you look like you’re having fun?』

Alright, Miyutan is checking on me once again.