Chapter 21 – From the Past to the Present (Part 1)

Leave a comment



Author: Torimaru Hiyoko Original Source: Syosetu
Translator: Mab English Source: Re:Library
Project GB is an official initiative by Re:Library.
Ko-fi

“Um, it was a square room, and Alice was sitting in front of a box doing something.”

What Sufi described from her dream matched perfectly with the memories I saw of my previous life.

“And then, a tall man came to call her…”

And apparently, she woke up at the same time I did.

That was the day my memories resurfaced. …For now, I explained everything under the assumption that something triggered the dormant memories of my past life to awaken.

From what I heard, it didn’t seem like Sufi had any direct connection to my past life, nor did she recover any memories of her own.

It was more like she had peeked into my dream from the side—she found herself floating in the air, looking down at me, and when she saw the boy in the center of her vision, she thought, “He looks kind of like Alice.”

I didn’t understand the logic behind it, but maybe it was something like a twin’s intuition.

“Was that the dream you saw, Alice?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”

What Sufi saw was only the part that I recalled as a dream. It seemed she didn’t know anything about the personal memories that resurfaced after my awakening.

I didn’t know why she could only peek into my dreams, but maybe it was one of those mystical twin things.

Since we’re identical twins, it’s common for us to sense each other’s feelings or thoughts when we’re close—if we’re sleeping side by side, maybe sharing dreams isn’t so strange either.

Now that I think about it… even back then, there were times when Sufi somehow knew what kind of dream I had, though I didn’t think much of it at the time.

After she finished explaining, I began to tell her about the dream I saw.

That I saw it while delirious with fever, that I “remembered” it by reliving that boy’s life, that the place where the boy had been sheltered contained various tools—like this room’s key and that gun.

That by being involved in the experiments there, I came to understand what those tools were used for.

“Isn’t that, um—”
“Memory from my past life, maybe?”

I paused to catch my breath. Noche hesitated on her comment, trying to find the words, and I finished her sentence myself.

At this point, I didn’t want to lie. Even if it was impulsive, it took courage to confess. Cold sweat trickled down my back as I tried to stay calm, afraid of being rejected.

For the record, the concept of reincarnation and the cycle of rebirth exists here too.

People believe that when living things die, they return to the stars as ether, and are eventually reborn as new lives. I wasn’t sure if they’d understand, but it seemed to get across.

“Ah…”
“I think I’ve heard of that before.”

Noche’s expression was hard to read, but Filia seemed to accept it easily enough.

“Um, it’s that story, right? When people die, they go back into the stars and are born again?”
“That’s the one.”

It seemed Filia had some knowledge of religious teachings, which helped my explanation go smoothly.

Then, in the quiet that followed, Sufi, who had been thinking with her arms crossed, looked straight at me.

“So, that means that boy was your past self, Alice?”
“Yeah…”

From Sufi’s perspective, my past self would have been a much older man, but since she’s always seen me as her little sister, she still treated me as younger than her. It made me feel… weirdly complicated.

“I see~”

I waited nervously for her reaction, feeling a bit relieved that I’d finally said it aloud.

“……”
“……”
“?”

I worried she’d reject me, or say I was creepy. But when our eyes met, Sufi just tilted her head with a puzzled look.

“What is it?”
“That’s all?”
“Yeah.”

…That’s all? I’d told her something I thought required serious resolve. Even if she hated me, even if she resented me for “taking” her sister, I still wanted to help her on this journey.

Honestly, I’d said it on impulse—to keep myself from freezing in fear. I’d been telling myself this was a new life, but deep down, I was scared that I’d somehow stolen Alice’s life, that I was an intruder in her existence.

And yet all she said was “I see~.”

“That’s your own sister, nya know? Is that all you’re gonna say, nya?”
“But Alice is Alice, right? Aren’t you?”

Her clear eyes pierced right through me, making me think again. The memories of my past life had come in halfway through, but Alice’s memories were still continuous and intact.

“Do you remember when we were little?”
“Yeah.”

I remember the days I spent with Sufi clearly. I’d been shocked and confused when my old memories came back, but now that I had my composure, I could recall everything vividly.

“And who was it that saved you when you fell into the river?”
“…That was when I got caught up in your magic accident, wasn’t it?”

It was a long time ago, and I knew it wasn’t on purpose, so I wasn’t mad—but I shot her a look that said, *That makes it sound like I’m the clumsy one.* Sufi giggled.

So it was a setup.

“Yeah, I accidentally made Alice fall in.”
“You cried so much after that, Sufi.”

She’d thought I might die because of her, and cried her eyes out.

“I was so scared thinking you might die, Alice.”

Her small, rough, scarred hand touched my cheek. “You remember things like that, right? Then you’re Alice… right?” Her eyes carried a quiet plea. I took her hand in both of mine, squeezing it tightly, and nodded.

“…Yeah. I’m Alice.”

Maybe she had sensed my uncertainty—that I was unsure of my own place.

The past is the past, the present is the present. Living as Alice isn’t difficult. Looking back, there isn’t much difference in our personalities or how we think. Even my goals haven’t changed. Maybe this is a good chance to move forward in my new life.

I’ll live as Alice.

“Yeah!”

Sufi beamed, and I smiled back.

Being accepted—and being able to say it out loud—filled me with a deep sense of relief. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d been worrying until now.



 

Support Us

Unlock Early Access

Ko-fi Button

∴ Support your favorite series and unlock chapters before the public release.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

1 Comment
Newest
Oldest Most Voted

Your Gateway to Gender Bender Novels