“Qianxia! Lock the window, quick! Don’t let that big sis get inside!”

But Qiaojue’s phone camera was still facing herself, so Qianxia couldn’t tell where the voice came from. Instead of closing the window, she instinctively scanned left and right like a vigilant little meerkat.

“Chance!”

Qiaojue seized the moment, vaulting up onto the windowsill. With a powerful kick, she launched herself into the room while tackling Qianxia—though she twisted midair to make sure Qianxia landed safely on top of her.

“Okay! Entry secure! Target captured—one super adorable little cutie!”

A close-up of Qianxia’s face filled the TV screen, causing a chorus of gasps and groans around the meeting table… and more than a few judgmental looks.

Like Haitang, who smacked me over the head with her rolled-up newspaper baton and barked, “You b̲a̲s̲t̲a̲r̲d̲, you’re harboring a minor in your bedroom?! That’s illegal! ILLEGAL! What is she, some animal you transformed? Let me guess—is it a white bunny?”

“No! Qianxia’s just the neighbor’s kid! She’s totally normal!”

“Wah!”

A loud yelp came from the TV. Qiaojue had clearly just spotted my original body lying there.

Sure, Qianxia had distracted her for a moment, but a person sprawled out on the bed with a leg in a cast wasn’t exactly easy to miss—unless you were blind or a Starcraft player.

She shrieked into the camera, “Breaking news from your roving reporter—viewers, we have a huge discovery! Look! There’s a guy on the bed!”

Dead. I am so dead.

She turned the camera to focus on my real body—calmly asleep, cast on one leg, completely soulless. There was no chance he’d wake up right now. But just the fact that it existed… was already a bombshell. Even Haitang didn’t know about the bookmark.

Rinka looked between me and the figure on the screen, bewildered. “Then… who’s sitting in front of us right now? An evil alien impersonating Kai-chan?!”

“There are no aliens! I am Chang Kai!”

“But the real Kai-chan is asleep at home! Just admit it—you’re an evil boob alien in disguise. Look at those obscene things!”

She was definitely doing this on purpose. Jealousy is ugly, ironing board!

“Alright, everyone pause. Let me ask little Qianxia right here. She probably knows what’s going on.”

Qiaojue’s voice cut through the squabble. She turned the camera toward Qianxia… Why not just ask me?! Am I that untrustworthy?

Qianxia, naturally trusting thanks to her quiet upbringing, showed no hesitation. Paired with Qiaojue’s outgoing nature, the two of them were already chattering away like besties.

“So, little sis,” Qiaojue asked sweetly. “Can you tell big sis here why that brother on the bed is asleep?”

“Oh, that’s also big sis! That’s the sister with no breasts!”

“There’s another one with breasts?”

I yelled at the screen, “I’m right here!”

“Yep! When no-breasts big sis is asleep, the big-breasts big sis appears. When the big-breasts one disappears, the no-breasts one wakes up. They never exist at the same time!”

“Wow, is that so?” Qiaojue turned the camera back on herself. “So, Haitang, thoughts on the little sister’s intel?”

Seriously?! Qianxia promised to keep this secret!

But I guess the cat’s fully out of the bag now.

“Alright, enough stalling, Commander,” Haitang declared, folding her arms. “Let’s get this straight—if you don’t explain everything today, you’re not walking out that door. Isn’t that right, o Divine One?”

No build-up, no speculation—she went straight for the throat, even exposing my secret while at it. Thunderstruck, Meow Meow slammed the table and stood up, her ruby-red eyes wide with disbelief.

“Hold up, you’re saying Chang Kai is the God of Bishoujo?!”

Yep, she was pissed.

“That’s right. I’m guessing none of you knew that little nugget, huh?” Haitang said with a smile that was anything but friendly. “Xiao Lei over here was just a front as the divine emissary. I’m still not sure if Kai is the actual god, but she’s definitely the one who turned you all into girls.”

Sis Xi furrowed her brows. “So Xiao Lei is really…”

“Yep—Xiao Lei is Zhao Zhao.”

Haitang confirmed it. But the first to mentally implode was Xiao Lei herself. She curled into a ball on her chair, clutching her head and trembling, eyes shrinking in panic.

“Ahhh! Stop! Don’t say any more!”

The poor girl was clearly maxed out mentally. Looks like I’m not the only one having a cursed day.

This was an execution. For both of us.

Sis Xi and Meow Meow were now giving her the stink-eye like she was some repulsive stain. Even Rinka, who didn’t say anything, subtly scooted her chair closer to Fei—away from Xiao Lei.

As a student of Biyang, Zhao Zhao’s name was practically legendary—infamous on both campuses, spoken only in hushed tones like a boogeyman no one dared name.

“Don’t blame her, alright?” I said, even though I was barely holding my own position. “Sure, she is Zhao Zhao, but her mind and emotions as Xiao Lei are different. She’d never do lowly acts like sneaking into the girls’ locker room.”

Xiao Lei looked at me like I’d just pulled her out of hell. Totally pitiful.

“Long story short,” I continued, “this body of mine is from a divine tool my master gave me. It lets someone split into two independent selves. I’m using it temporarily while my leg heals, but originally, it was meant for Zhao Zhao and Xiao Lei. She’s seriously traumatized by her guy self, and keeps it hidden because she was scared you’d all reject her. Don’t you think that’s a little sad?”

On the TV, Qiaojue was poking my unconscious cheek. “Two independent selves, huh? But this side looks totally brain-dead. Is he a vegetable or something? Hey bro—oh wait, sis—your skin’s amazing. What do you use?”

Ignoring the off-topic skincare tangent, I sighed. “I’m a special case. My consciousness can only exist in one body at a time. When I switch to this form, the original goes into a deep sleep.”

Fei, who had stayed silent, turned to Xiao Lei and asked, “So, during that night at the Sichuan restaurant, you were using the bookmark?”

“That’s right. Could you tell the difference?”

“Mm. She seemed like a good kid.”

“Sis Fei!”

Overwhelmed with emotion, Xiao Lei stood and tried to throw herself into her arms—but got dodged.

“But no physical contact, alright?”

So even Fei was keeping her at arm’s length…

“Alright, that’s enough about Xiao Lei,” Rinka said, knocking on the table to refocus us. “Kai-chan, you mentioned a master. Who is that?”

At this point, everything was out in the open. No more use pretending. Time to lay it all out.

“My master is the current God of Bishoujo… but she only appears in my dreams.”

Rinka blinked. “Wait, so gods are real? I always thought you were just spewing nonsense.”

“They’re real. All of you are living proof.”

Rinka crossed her arms. “If this master chooses their successor from normal people, shouldn’t they have a real form somewhere out in the world?”

“Maybe? I’ve never met my master in person. She only comes to me in dreams.”

She knew all about trends and memes, so I doubt she’s some hidden sage living in the mountains. For all I know, she might even be that old man running the herbal shop on Mifeng Street.

The first time I met her, she looked like an old man… and now all I remember is the white-haired loli version, Halliluya. So if I ran into her on the street, I’d probably walk right past her.

So was the appearance at the start her real form? Then again, with her power to control dreams, changing her appearance might be trivial for her…

“So turning us into girls—that was under her orders?”

“Well… not exactly. I have a monthly quota. My task is to bring happiness to people who are unfortunate.”

Meow Meow shot up. “And turning people into girls is your idea of happiness?! What kind of messed-up logic is that?!”

“What’s wrong with becoming a girl? By turning into a girl, only can you receive the divine blessing! Compared to your old life as a delinquent with no future, aren’t you better off now? Don’t you love being an idol with a shining dream?”

Caught off guard by my sudden pushback, Meow Meow flinched and sat back down, sulking.

“Fine, fine! I’m happy now, okay?!”

“Honestly, if you hadn’t truly accepted it in your hearts, my quota wouldn’t have counted—so don’t pretend like you’re not okay with it now.”

“I’m super happy, Kai-chan!” Rinka chimed in, then whacked me on the head with a karate chop.

“But as grateful as I am, lying to us again and again is another issue entirely. We’re gonna talk about that later.”

Haitang clapped her hands. “So let’s tally it up. Since Tangerine moved into my house, it’s been three months. Month one was Lei Meow Meow, month two was Rinka, and this month… must be Huangfu Fei, right?”

“Exactly!”

She nodded, then narrowed her eyes. “And who gets to decide if you completed the quota?”