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Chise and Ayaka-chan’s room looked exactly the same as the last time I’d been here. Chise had me sit down on a cushion, facing her.

She stared at me in silence, making no move to start the conversation. I could feel the heaviness creeping into my chest, so I took out the toothbrush and toothpaste from the bag on the table.

“So? What’s been going on?” she asked, glancing down at her nails.

Her tone made it sound like there was no question that something had happened.

Inazuki had asked me about it before, too. Was I really that easy to read?

“What do you mean, ‘going on’?”
“Oh, come on. It’s obviously something with your roommate. You look more worn out every day. Seriously, it’s getting pretty bad.”

She kept saying “bad,” and… she was probably right.

Knowing time would just keep looping again and again made everything feel pointless. I’d been trying my best to show my gratitude to Inazuki in ways only this version of me could, but the weight in my heart was still there.

It felt like no matter what I did, things weren’t going well.

“You think so?”
“Why don’t you try talking about it? You’re the type to crush yourself under the weight of things if you hold them in.”
“Mm…”

If I were to share everything on my mind, she might think I’d lost it.

My struggle had started when I realized that Inazuki was seeing traces of the past version of me in the present me. Honestly, I wanted her to see only the “me” here and now, and I couldn’t stand that wistful expression that sometimes appeared on her face.

But then again, if it was all just going to repeat, maybe none of it mattered. That thought had crossed my mind more than once.

If it weren’t for the time loops, I probably wouldn’t have even been living with Inazuki like this.

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like… I thought it was my own special place, but now it feels like it’s not really mine at all and I hate it.”

Not just some version of “Amakawa Iroha” from past timelines—I wanted her to see me, here and now.

I wouldn’t even mind if she fell for someone else; that, I could understand. But to look at me and still see another version of me? I couldn’t handle that. I didn’t want to lose my place to some other version of myself.

If she liked one of those other versions so much, then why did she turn them down when they confessed?

It was exhausting.

I knew how complicated I was. Even if I understood that, I couldn’t stop my heart from feeling the way it did. So maybe it was inevitable.

“When I thought she was looking at me, she was really looking at someone else. I hated that. I want her to look at me.”

If everything was destined to reset, then… what could I really leave behind? What could I gain?

I didn’t know. But the urgency, that sense of needing to do something, still stabbed at my chest.

“And it’s not just that. If this keeps up, everything will disappear, and I have to stop it. But I don’t know what I can even do.”

Chise remained silent. I was starting to lose track of my own words. When I kept the previous timelines hidden, it was almost impossible to convey the real problem.

How was I supposed to explain it?

Maybe I was surprisingly—no, not surprisingly—terrible at expressing myself. Sure, I could lay my feelings bare when it came to affection, but showing what was truly in my heart felt like an almost impossible task.

“So basically,” Chise said, “you’re just jealous, saying ‘Look at me, not anyone else!’”
“…Ugh.”

Hearing her put it like that made me feel a little embarrassed.

Jealous of my past self?

And telling her to focus only on me… that’s a bit heavy, isn’t it? It’s probably way too much.

I knew it was silly, but I couldn’t stop feeling the way I did. I’d always been the type to want my own place, something special just for me.

“So what?” she shrugged. “Good for you.”
“Huh?”
“You used to be kinda aloof about stuff. I think this suits you better.”

Having her agree with me was… confusing.

Chise just nodded, looking at me with her usual calm expression.

“I think you should just let it out.”
“Let it out?”
“Yeah. You’ve probably never argued with her, right? Sometimes it’s good to fight and say what you really think.”

Calling it “fighting” might be a bit of a stretch, but…

Chise patted my shoulder with a few rough smacks.

It actually hurt a little.

“You’ve probably shown plenty of affection by now, haven’t you?” she said. “I mean, you’re definitely the type.”
“Well… yeah, but…”
“Everyone has frustrations and jealousy; that’s normal. If you’re only showing affection and never showing the negative side, that’s just messed up. Nobody only has good feelings; that’s just not human.”

She had a point.

I knew better than anyone that if you don’t communicate your emotions, nothing can change. But, I’d also learned that even if you do, sometimes nothing changes anyway.

I’d always believed in being open about my feelings—the good ones, at least. If you don’t express them, nobody understands.

Feelings only really exist once they’re spoken. But there were so many times when they just didn’t reach the other person.

I’d wanted praise from my parents. I’d wanted them to stroke my head, to hug me. I’d told them all those things, yet nothing ever changed. Eventually, I stopped saying what I wanted. I stopped voicing any feelings that seemed negative—needs, frustrations, complaints. I came to believe that only good feelings were worth sharing.

Maybe that was wrong.

“If she’s someone who’d stick by you no matter what, then she’ll handle whatever you say. So, just go for it.”
“…Yeah. I’ll try.”
“Alright! In that case, I’ll be your practice partner! Go ahead—tell me any complaints you’ve been bottling up about me.”
“Wait, really…?”

So that’s where this was going.

Chise was grinning, clearly enjoying herself.

Was that the face of someone about to hear complaints? She looked… oddly excited.

Complaints? About Chise? Nothing was really coming to mind.

“Well, if I had to pick one…”
“Go on?”
“You’re… a little too forceful sometimes. Like, you pull me along before even hearing me out. It’s a bit overwhelming?”
“Oh, yeah, I guess I do tend to do that.”

Chise stood up and plopped down beside me.

“Alright, my turn, then.”

Wait—her turn? Was that a thing?

I was caught off guard.

“You hold way too much inside. You’ve got things you want, things you’d like to happen, but you don’t say a word about them. Drives me nuts! Then you let it all pile up until you’re practically exploding inside, which isn’t great for anyone. Just spit it out already. I’m not gonna be weird about it, I promise.”

She ruffled my hair with one rough hand.

I didn’t really mind being petted so roughly. But my hair, already wavy to begin with, got even more tangled, which was… a little annoying.

“Also, stop pretending like your feelings don’t matter, alright? It’s totally obvious to anyone watching.”

Running from my own feelings… she was right. I did have a habit of doing that. Maybe, because facing my own emotions had become too painful, I’d unconsciously started avoiding them altogether.

Living like that made it hard to be honest with myself now, but if I was going to keep going, I knew I had to try.

If things continued like this, everything would eventually be erased.

At the very least, I needed to understand the reason for the time loop. Maybe Inazuki already knew?

“…Yeah. I’ll do my best.”
“Good answer. I don’t dislike that straightforward, hardworking side of yours, you know.”
“You sure know how to give a backhanded compliment.”
“I’m just telling it like it is. People are complicated—love and hate usually come as a package deal.”
“Heh, yeah, maybe.”

Maybe just “liking” someone wasn’t enough to build a healthy relationship.

As for Inazuki… there were parts of her I disliked, things I found hard to deal with. And I’m sure she had her own complaints about me too.

Maybe, unless we talked about those things, we wouldn’t be able to move forward.

Even if talking didn’t change anything, right now, I just wanted to have an honest conversation with her. I wanted to express the feelings I held in my heart right now.

That’s right.

Inazuki wasn’t like my parents. She had always been willing to face my words directly. She’d wanted to know both the good and the bad.

If that was the case, then I needed to tell her how I felt too. Nothing would change if I didn’t. Just thinking about it wasn’t enough.

I almost stood up, but Chise grabbed my hand.

“I’m going.”
“Hm? Nope.”

She grinned.

“People don’t change overnight. I’m making you stay here for a month so you can learn what a real argument looks like.”
“…? Wait, what? Why?”
“It’s been my plan from the start. I think you and your roommate need a little time apart… So, starting tomorrow, no contact is allowed.”
“That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”

I hadn’t expected Chise to be this forceful. She was usually the type to avoid meddling too much. That’s probably why we’d gotten along so well up until now.

Or so I thought.

But seeing the look on her face, I wondered if maybe I’d misjudged her all this time.

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