Author: Inukai Anzu	Original Source: Kakuyomu	Word Count: 4634 characters
Translator: Mui	English Source: Re:Library	Word Count: 2035 words
Editor(s): Fire

Project Yuri is an official initiative by Re:Library.

(Not Available)

“Wow, that was really informative.”
“You’re such a liar. You were completely asleep.”
“I was learning while I slept.”

After class ended, the three of us headed to the university cafeteria.

Since there were fewer classes held on Saturdays, the cafeteria wasn’t crowded. We sat at a table and began eating lunch.

Inazuki sat beside me, and across from me was Chise.

“So, Inazuki-san, did you find it helpful?” Chise asked.
“Yeah. I guess this is what university is like,” Inazuki replied.

Still, Inazuki looked a little lonely.

For over twenty years, Inazuki had remained a high school student. Had she ever wanted to experience life as a university student during all that time?

No, wait. Was Inazuki even responsible for causing the time loop in the first place?

By now, I should probably treat the fact that time was repeating as confirmed. I decided to trust the feelings welling up inside me.

The anxiety, the sorrow—those belonged to the person I used to be.

“Are you planning to go to university through a recommendation too, Inazuki-san?”
“I haven’t decided yet. What about you, Iroha?”

I hesitated to answer.

Inazuki must already know where I would end up going.

I wonder where the previous version of me chose to go to university. I was curious, but I couldn’t ask.

“Yeah, I’m still figuring it out as well.”
“I guess I’m the only one with a clear vision for the future,” Chise chimed in.

Could we really call Chise’s vision a plan, though?

Inazuki smiled wryly at that.

After that, we chatted about nothing in particular. By the time we finished eating, Inazuki and Chise were talking, and I had settled into being the listener.

I’ve always liked listening to friends talk to each other. It’s fun hearing conversations I’m not a part of, and seeing sides of my friends they don’t show when they’re just talking to me.

I let out a small yawn. The drowsiness that had taken over the other two earlier was finally catching up to me. Still, unless something really extreme happens, I make it a point not to nap during the day.

“So, what now? Since we already did Amakawa’s makeup, why don’t we go out and do something fun?” Chise suggested.
“Sure, why not? How about we check out that new shop that opened in October? It’s a general store.”
“Sounds good.”

Now that I think about it…

I hadn’t been back to that shop since visiting it before its grand opening in September. I had a feeling that if I went now, it might jog some memories. At the same time, part of me didn’t want to see anything.

I couldn’t become the person I once was.

No matter what, I could only remain who I was now. Change comes slowly. It’s not like I could instantly revert to my past self.

Even if Inazuki had loved the old me, I couldn’t become that person again.

I wondered if there was anything I could do as the person I am now.

Inazuki once said she loved me because I was me, but I didn’t fully understand what that “me” was. It felt too vague, too unclear to trust.

If only I could confidently declare, “This is who I am.”

If I could fully accept Inazuki deep within myself, maybe we could have built an even deeper bond.

I sighed softly, lost in thought.

The pastel-colored roof of the shop hadn’t changed at all.

We had taken the train from school to get here. Even though some time had passed since its opening, the store remained quite popular, with many people inside.

The shelves were packed with adorable mugs, bags, and accessories. I picked up one of the items, a mug with a soft pink cat design.

It was Misora who had suggested we get matching ones.

After visiting the store several times, we had bought a few matching accessories. Eventually, we settled on these mugs…

“Iroha.”

I snapped back to reality.

Misora, I mean, Inazuki, was staring at me with a worried expression.

“You’re spacing out. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little sleepy,”
“If you say so… but, that mug…”

Even though there were plenty of identical mugs around, Inazuki reached out, taking my hand and staring intently at the one I was holding.

Her warmth hadn’t changed.

Was the old Inazuki just as warm?

“It’s cute, isn’t it?”
“Do you want to buy it?”
“No, I won’t.”

Her eyes seemed to ask, “Why not?”

Because there’s no point in doing the same things I did before.

I wanted to do things that could only be done now. Go to places Inazuki and I hadn’t been to yet, do things we hadn’t done before. And then…

And then what?

“Chise, are you thinking of buying something?” I asked, putting the mug back on the shelf.
“Hm, maybe this?” Chise said, holding up a wooden bear figurine.
“It’s cute, I guess. How much is it?”
“3,000 yen.”
“That’s kind of expensive.”
“Well, you know, it’s a necessary expense, so I’ll buy it. How about you, Amakawa?”
“Maybe I’ll get something too, since we’re here.”

Inazuki continued watching me. I couldn’t quite read the emotions in her eyes.

Maybe she wanted me to buy that mug. Maybe she wanted to turn it into a memory that connected me with the person I used to be.

But…

I wanted something from the present, from this timeline.

In the end, I browsed the store, but nothing else caught my eye, so I decided to just buy the wooden figurine.

After a while of looking around with Inazuki and Chise, commenting on different items, we left the store.

We went to a café afterward, but as the sun began to set, we decided to part ways. As usual, Inazuki and I walked home hand in hand. Once we got back, I immediately placed the wooden figurine on the table in the living room.

Yeah. It was certainly cute.

“Iroha, here.”

Inazuki placed a paper bag from the general store on the table.

It landed with a heavy thud.

A sinking feeling welled up inside me, and I couldn’t bring myself to touch the bag. I didn’t want to see what was inside. I didn’t want to know.

“I bought matching ones. Let’s use them together,” she said.

Sure enough, what Inazuki pulled out of the bag was the cat-themed mug that I had chosen not to buy.

It was something tied to memories of Misora and me—a memory that could never belong to just Inazuki and me. My chest grew heavy, weighed down by the realization.

“When did you get it?” I asked.
“I bought it while you were looking around. The pink one is yours, and the blue one is mine.”

Inazuki kept talking, as if everything was already decided.

I couldn’t find the words to make her stop.

If I hadn’t remembered anything, I might have been able to accept it as a memory between Inazuki and me. But the way I was now, I couldn’t. Not anymore.

In the past, there had been times when Inazuki seemed to be looking at something else through me. It must have been the version of me from before. Maybe she still thought I was the same person, both now and back then. But I couldn’t be that person anymore—I could only see myself as someone entirely different.

Did Inazuki… love the version of me who used to call her Misora, and was she trying to recreate those memories in this timeline?

But…

If that were the case, why didn’t she accept my confession in the previous timeline? If she loved me so much, she should’ve just accepted it. She could have stayed with the old me forever.

She rejected my confession back then, yet now she was trying to relive those moments from the past timeline. It felt like a contradiction.

It doesn’t make sense. I want to understand everything.

I want her to see the person I am right now.

“Inazuki…”

Maybe—just maybe—I’m jealous of my past self.

It’s stupid, even I know that. But my heart feels restless, squeezed tight with an aching pain. My mind is spinning with questions, swirling in confusion. I can’t make sense of anything anymore.

I’m lost. Confused by everything lately.

“You said it before, didn’t you?” I asked.
“Said what?” Inazuki replied, sitting on the chair, her gaze fixed on me.

I sat on her lap, staring intently into her eyes.

“You said if I told you I liked you and asked for a kiss, you’d kiss me right then and there.”
“…Did I?” she mumbled.

It was clear she remembered. She tried to look away, so I cupped her face with both hands, holding her still.

“I like you, Inazuki. Kiss me.”

Inazuki stayed silent.

That reaction alone told me her words had been a lie.

So many of Inazuki’s words were lies. The claim that we were lovers? A lie. Saying she’d kiss me? Another lie. So, what was the truth?

What Inazuki had done for me—that was real.

Her smiles, too, I believed those weren’t lies.

But that’s exactly why I couldn’t understand her. I didn’t understand Inazuki at all. If only she’d said from the start that she was just pretending to be my lover.

“…Just kidding.”

I tried to play it off, acting lighthearted.

Inazuki didn’t laugh. So, I reluctantly moved off her lap.

“I was lying. I do like you, Inazuki, but only as a friend. I don’t want to kiss you.”

Even I didn’t know if that was true or not.

But, I felt like I wouldn’t mind. If it were Inazuki, I wouldn’t mind being kissed. I wouldn’t mind if she did more than that, even.

As long as she was directing her feelings toward me.

As long as she was treating me, this version of me, as someone special—someone from this timeline, not any other.

But that’s just a foolish wish, isn’t it?

“Don’t make that face.”

Inazuki looked like the world was ending. The same Inazuki who had pushed so hard, claiming we were lovers in a past timeline, now seemed like a different person altogether. Yet, seeing this new side of her didn’t make me happy.

“I need to clear my head.”

Why was I getting so worked up?

…I didn’t need to think long to figure it out.

I’d been fooling myself into thinking I was someone special to Inazuki. But the truth was, she wasn’t in love with the me that existed right now—she was in love with some version of me from another timeline, and she was just projecting that onto me. The idea that she could love this version of me seemed impossible to believe.

I should have known from the start.

Once I became certain the past timelines were real, the fragile sense of security I’d built up crumbled away.

I wasn’t anyone’s special person. I had no place to truly belong. I felt that reality hit me hard.

Iroha is Iroha.

Iroha. Iroha. Iroha.

The past, unknown me, and the me standing here right now—we were different people shaped by different experiences.

And yet, here I was, given only the emotions of the previous me, shown fragments of her memories. What was I supposed to do with that?

I stormed out of Inazuki’s house and wandered aimlessly through the streets as night began to fall.

“Ugh, this is such a pain,” I muttered to myself.

That phrase—‘such a pain’—it was something the past me used to say often.

But I didn’t care about that. I didn’t know that version of myself. And this, all of this, was truly a pain.

“A pain, a pain. I’m a pain in the neck.”