And Thus, Today ②

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Author: Inukai Anzu Original Source: Kakuyomu Word Count: 4415 characters
Translator: Mui English Source: Re:Library Word Count: 1955 words
Editor(s): Fire
Project Yuri is an official initiative by Re:Library.
(Not Available)

Since meeting Iroha, this was the third time I’d been in a time loop.

This time, I was able to approach her more smoothly than before. It was June of our first year of high school. I went to school early that morning, and I became friends with Iroha once again.

And that’s when I noticed.

This Iroha, the Iroha in her first year, was different from the Iroha I knew.

She didn’t have that sleepy look on her face, and her eyes met mine often. She didn’t go to the burger place in the mornings, and most importantly, she didn’t carry that constant, subtle sadness in her expression.

Then, it hit me.

I remembered that she’d told me before—she had run away from home in the summer of her first year. Something must have happened then that shaped the Iroha I knew.

If I could take her in when she ran away, maybe something would change.

With that thought in mind, I prepared for her stay, and August arrived.

But things didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped. I didn’t even know her contact information, let alone where she lived.

There was so much I didn’t know.

Come to think of it, the Iroha I’d known had always been elusive, never revealing much about anything important.

Still, I loved her, so I couldn’t really complain.

“Iroha…”

I wanted to touch her.

I wanted to talk to her, to hear her call my name.

With these thoughts swirling in my mind, I wandered until I found myself on the rooftop of the university’s main building. The view from up here was no different from how it looked two years later. But the bench where Iroha used to sit was empty, and the rooftop felt hotter than back then.

What should I do now?

I sighed without meaning to, and then I heard footsteps. It was rare to find anyone at the university during summer vacation. I lifted my head, and my gaze locked with those brown eyes I’d been wanting to see.

“Inazuki?”
“…Huh? Iroha?”

Iroha stood there, carrying an oversized bag like she was going on a trip.

Was she planning a trip for summer break, or had she already been somewhere?

No, that’s not it.

No matter how you looked at it, she looked exactly like a runaway girl.

This was it. This was the moment. I couldn’t help myself and ran toward her.

“What are you doing here?”
“…Hmm. Who knows? Just drifting around?”
“Hey, don’t ask me.”

As always, Iroha seemed a little dazed. I knew that, despite appearances, she was actually thinking deeply about things. But still…

If I took my eyes off her for a second, I felt like she’d just float away, off to somewhere far.

That was… actually kind of cute.

No, no.

What am I even thinking?

“What? Did you run from home?”
“Well, yeah. Do you know about those 24-hour manga cafes? I was thinking of trying one tonight.”
“No, don’t. That’s no place for a high school girl to stay.”

Iroha looked at me, a little lost.

Even though it was summer vacation, she was wearing her school uniform.

Why? I wondered, and then I took her hand.

“Inazuki, what’s going on?”
“I’ll let you stay with me. I’d feel bad if I just left you like this.”
“Huh? That’s kind of sudden.”
“Well, you showed up out of nowhere, and I just decided to let you stay. So of course it’s sudden.”
“Heh, guess that’s true.”

Her hand felt the same as ever. It hadn’t changed, but it had been a while since I last held it. About half a year, I guess? I felt my excitement rising just from that small touch.

I could grow close to Iroha again.

Just that thought made my heart leap, but I also felt a hint of self-loathing, knowing that in the end, I’d likely erase it all from memory.

And yet, when her eyes met mine, I felt like I could forget everything else.

I lied to Iroha.

I told her that, in a previous timeline, we’d been a couple.

I wanted an excuse to do something out of the ordinary with her. A reason to say the kinds of unadorned words she would naturally say.

And, if I was lucky, maybe, by exchanging those honest words, we could actually become a couple.

If we could become lovers early on, maybe I could be certain we’d stay together even in college. No matter how tough things got, as long as Iroha was with me, it would be all right.

By the tenth loop, I’d learned so much more about Iroha.

The reasons she’d run away.

The face she showed to the people she lived with. The taste of her cooking. Her favorite furniture, and a bunch of other things.

Every day felt fresh and new. The Iroha I’d known before was worn down from drifting from house to house. But this Iroha—she was still pure, untouched by those hardships.

Because of that, she opened up to me more than ever, and I think this time, we became closer than we’d ever been.

And as our bond grew, my desire did too. I wanted to turn the memories from the previous timeline into memories in this one.

I wanted to share memories with Iroha.

I wanted the things that only I knew to be things she knew too.

That’s what I was thinking.

“Iroha, has something happened recently?”

Since around February, Iroha’s demeanor had started to change.

More and more often, she’d show this sorrowful look, and at times, it seemed like she was struggling to endure something.

Why? I wondered.

Was it because I didn’t kiss her when she asked me to?

No, that couldn’t be it. Iroha hadn’t been serious about it then. Besides…

I’d been afraid. To me, kissing was something that went hand-in-hand with separation. Though I’d pretended to be ready, deep down, I was never actually prepared to go through with it.

Could we even be lovers if I couldn’t bring myself to kiss her? That question circled in my mind constantly.

Our relationship had begun to feel awkward. Even though we’d been getting along so well, lately, it was like the air between us had become misaligned, slightly out of sync.

“Hmm? Nothing’s happened… Anyway, get the mugs, will you? I thought I’d try making royal milk tea today.”

I took matching mugs from the shelf.

Iroha poured the tea, and as the steam rose, a sweet aroma filled the air, tickling my nose.

Iroha’s face beyond the steam still had that faint sadness.

“Iroha, look over here.”

I placed a hand on her shoulder as she set the pot back on the stove. Her body tensed slightly. Why did she react like that?

I reached up and ran my fingers gently through her hair. It was as soft as ever and felt nice to touch.

With her standing a full head shorter than me, it was easy to reach her hair. But Iroha didn’t look even the slightest bit pleased.

“Your hair feels really nice, Iroha. It even smells good—even though we use the same shampoo.”
“Hm. I think yours smells better, Inazuki. I’ve always thought it was different from mine.”

My casual words were my attempt at copying her style, but Iroha’s words, pure and unfiltered, packed a different punch.

Were my words really reaching her? Iroha’s words, so direct and honest, always shot straight to my heart, leaving me struggling to cool down my blushing face.

I wanted this moment to last forever.

I knew that in two years, I’d have to choose again whether to reset time or not. But even so, right now, I just wanted to talk to Iroha, to be with her without worrying about anything.

That’s what I found myself wishing.

“Then maybe I should make you smell like me, too.”

I rested my head on her shoulder.

No matter what I did, Iroha rarely showed any resistance. She’d accepted my strange explanation about us being lovers in a previous timeline without hesitation and treated me as if it were true. In some ways, for better or worse, she was far from ordinary.

But I suppose that’s part of what drew me to her.

“Inazuki. The milk tea’s going to get cold.”
“Tea can be reheated, but this—this can only happen now.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yeah. So, let’s keep going. You should do it too, Iroha.”

I felt like a puppy or a kitten.

Isn’t this what they call “marking”?

Iroha being covered in my smell, and I would be covered in hers. The thought sent a thrill through me, though, in reality, what I was doing was a bit much.

We weren’t even a couple, yet here I was, holding her, pressing my scent onto her. Iroha’s unflinching acceptance of it all only made it harder for me to stop myself, and I couldn’t help doing these bold things.

Even in the previous timelines, we hadn’t gone this far.

Back then, we were technically just friends, and hand-holding was about as far as we went. Sure, we’d shared a goodbye kiss once, but nothing more.

So now, everything in this timeline felt thrilling and new.

The warmth when we embraced, the way her body tensed just a bit, her scent—all of it flooded into me, filling me with a sense of tenderness.

With each new discovery, I’d realize all over again how much I loved Iroha. But at the same time, a dull ache grew in my chest.

I wanted to move forward into the future with Iroha, just as we were now.

But I knew the day she’d reappear on that rooftop. I could relive these sweet days with her, again and again, as many times as I wanted.

Forever, just like this.

It was an intensely tempting thought.

If I could stay in this timeless state with Iroha, I was sure I’d be happy. Maybe I could throw the future away entirely.

…But was that truly what I wanted?

“Even if we mark each other with a scent, it’ll fade someday.”
“Then we’ll just reapply it each time it fades.”
“Will repeating the same thing each time it fades really be enough?”

Iroha rested her head against my chest, her warm breath seeping through my shirt and tickling my skin.

I stroked her hair.

“Yeah. That way, it’ll never really fade.”

I said it with a smile.

For just a moment—almost imperceptibly—she trembled, or at least, I thought she did.

“I see. That’s why…”
“Iroha?”

She lifted her head to look at me.

Her brown irises resembled the familiar depths of the ocean, something I’d come to know well.

“Inazuki… do you love me?”

It was a question with an obvious answer, yet she asked it anyway. I nodded.

“Yeah. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”
“…I see. Thank you.”

She said it with a smile.

It was beautiful, almost contrived—a smile I’d seen countless times across different timelines.

But it was a smile that didn’t quite belong to the Iroha of this timeline. The Iroha here, in this time, didn’t hide behind rehearsed smiles; she smiled openly, even clumsily, but it was genuine. So why was she putting on this expression that barely even resembled a real smile?

I felt like something was wrong, though I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Not knowing what else to do, I smiled back at her.



 

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