Leave a comment

Graduation day.

I had called Amakawa to the back of the school building.

“Inazuki. You need something?”

She looked at me with her usual sleepy expression.

No tension at all.

No, honestly, it’d be awkward if she were tense.

But here I was, nervous.

“Well, um…”

I wanted to tell her I wanted to stay with her. But the words wouldn’t come.

Let’s face it. I liked Amakawa. When I was with her, I felt at ease. The words I said without pretense felt unbelievably comfortable, and before I knew it, I’d come to like her.

Though her off-the-wall remarks often caught me off guard, I didn’t mind.

There was no malice in her words. She always looked me in the eye and told me, straight and sincere, how she felt. That… yeah. I think that’s what I like about her.

My frustration with her, most likely, stemmed from my own inability to express my feelings honestly, combined with a hint of irritation toward her, who always kept a bit of distance between us.

I wanted to know her better.

I’ll admit it.

I love her.

I love Amakawa.

More intensely than I’ve ever felt for anyone else.

…But.

“Inazuki.”

Her voice pulled me back. When had I started looking down? She tilted my chin up with a gentle touch, smiling.

With the withered trees as her backdrop, her smile looked somehow dry. But it was beautiful, more than anything.

“Don’t bite me, okay?”
“Huh…”

Our lips met.

The glosses—two different colors—blended together. I felt Amakawa taking on my color, and I on hers. Her warmth, her scent, everything mixed together, a confusing blend that poured into me.

When our lips parted slowly, she gave me a slight, playful smile. The same exaggerated grin as always.

“Why?”
“Hmm. Because I wanted to? And it’s our last day.”

So… there’s no “maybe.”

She’s right. I do love Amakawa, but I can’t stop the time loop.

Even though I wanted to stay with her. I still couldn’t stop it.

Because moving forward was terrifying. If I went to college, we’d drift apart, and I wouldn’t be able to stay with her like I have.

And then Amakawa would gradually forget me, and I’d forget her too… I can’t bear that.

…Somehow, Amakawa has become my reason not to break free from this cycle.

I don’t want to be apart from her.

If it means forgetting her in some unfamiliar place, then—

Repeating things as they are would surely be better.

“Yeah. But from that kiss, I realized… I did like you, Inazuki.”

Amakawa said this, then started walking, brushing past me.

“I guess I’m the type who lies to herself about her own feelings. But to have it all break down over something so simple… I must’ve liked you a lot.”

She rested her hand on her school bag and smiled.

“Goodbye, Inazuki. I never quite figured out what you were looking at, but… I loved you. Don’t overthink things. Eat well, and be happy, okay?”

She couldn’t possibly know that I was looping through time. And yet, somehow, she had seen through me—that I had no intention of staying with her forever.

I couldn’t say anything.

Unable to say anything, unable to change my cowardice, I once again repeated time.

My ninth run through high school.

It wasn’t until I reached my second year that I managed to talk to Amakawa.

Everything we’d experienced together was gone for her. To her, I was just a classmate—a barely familiar one. I’d avoided her, unwilling to be spoken to like a stranger.

It was all my fault.

But I couldn’t keep going on like this.

I still wanted to be with her. I wanted to see her face. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted her to look at me.

Too little, too late.

I’d come to realize that I loved Amakawa more deeply than I’d ever admitted.

In June of my second year, I went to the classroom early in the morning again.

There was no smell of fast food this time, but sure enough, Amakawa was there.

“Inazuki? Here this early? That’s rare.”

She gave me a sleepy smile.

Light makeup on her face, soft hair—no inner color this time.

But Amakawa was still Amakawa. I felt a wave of emotion well up inside me, but I forced myself to smile as if everything was normal.

“Yeah. I thought I’d have breakfast here today.”

I pulled out a hash brown from the fast-food bag.

“Want one?”
“Aren’t they yours?”
“They are, but if you want one, I’ll share.”
“…Are they good?”
“Guaranteed.”
“Then… just one bite.”

If I was going to try to recreate memories like this, I probably should’ve just left time as it was. I knew that much. But I couldn’t stop.

Gently, I brought the hash brown to her mouth.

She looked a bit surprised but bit into it without a word.

Though we’d switched roles, it felt like Amakawa hadn’t changed. Normally, a classmate wouldn’t just eat from another’s hand.

She’s still far from ordinary.

Amakawa is… one of a kind.

Maybe it’s fate, this connection between Iroha and me.

That’s how giddy I’ve been feeling, enough to have thoughts like that pop into my head.

It had been a year since I first spoke to Iroha in this timeline. Over that year, we’d gone out together, eaten meals, and grown close, just like before. Now, we called each other by our first names.

I think this is probably the peak of happiness for me.

“Iroha, look, look! Isn’t this mug cute?”

I showed her a cat-themed mug. Over the past year, I’d learned she liked soft, pastel colors. So, I’d found a shop with lots of those kinds of things, and recently, we’d been going there together.

“Oh, it really is. Should we get it?”
“Let’s get matching ones! I’ll take this blue one.”
“Then I’ll go with the pink one.”

We’d started buying more and more things to match. Iroha seemed to enjoy spending time with me, too, and we’d been going out together more often.

I wanted to get to know Iroha even better. I wanted to be with her more.

Somehow, I’d come to like her even more than in the previous timeline. Just being with her gave me a sense of peace, comfort, and calm.

She’s the only one who makes my heart race just by holding my hand.

That doesn’t happen when I hold anyone else’s.

I felt certain that, no matter the timeline, Iroha and I were destined to grow close—that we’d always find a way to connect.

“Misora.”

We walked down the street, hand in hand.

I felt happy. Ignoring the fear lurking in the back of my mind, I smiled at her.

“Yeah?”
“I’m glad I met you, Misora.”
“O-Oh. What’s with that, all of a sudden?”
“Because you take me to so many places, every day is fun. So, I just wanted to say thanks.”

Iroha never hid her feelings. Whether she was a third-year or a second-year, she was always herself. The words that left her soft lips had an unwavering impact, and I couldn’t help but blush.

“Well, if we’re saying that… I, uh, I’m glad I got to meet you too, Iroha.”

When I was with Iroha, I was always blushing, stumbling over my words, acting out of character. And I didn’t mind it.

Her words were so warm that, even if they threw me off, I didn’t care.

“It’d be nice if we could stay together forever,” I said.

For a moment, I thought I saw Iroha’s body tense up.

“…Yeah. It’d be nice… if we could stay together forever.”

Her words carried no warmth, no feeling.

“Oh, right. Is there anywhere around here where we can hang out until nighttime? I’d love it if you could take me.”

Iroha smiled, and that smile put me at ease.

“Sure. I know a bunch of places. I’ll show you around.”

Iroha didn’t seem particularly close with her family, so she sometimes suggested staying out late like this. In these moments, all my time spent wandering around paid off, so I didn’t mind.

I took her hand and started walking.

The coolness of her hand against mine hadn’t changed from the last timeline. That familiar sensation brought me comfort, though I felt a bit of self-disgust for finding relief in it.

Two years passed in the blink of an eye.

Before I knew it, graduation day had arrived again. Unlike the previous timeline, this time Iroha had called me out behind the school building.

And then—

Once again, Iroha kissed me.

“Sorry about that. I stole a kiss from you,” she said with a playful grin, like a mischievous child. Her eyes still held that sleepy look, revealing hardly any emotion.

Even so, I could tell she was feeling lonely.

I instinctively reached out to her, but my hand never made it to her body.

“Goodbye, Misora. These past two years were fun.”

I turned down Iroha’s confession. But it was as if she knew I would, as she walked away from me just as usual.

My lips felt warm, yet my heart seemed to grow colder and colder.

If only I’d been able to say, “Don’t go.”

But no. It wasn’t Iroha who would end up leaving—it was me.

If I hadn’t kept rewinding time, I might have been able to spare her from saying goodbye.

It was all my fault, because I was too weak.

What am I going to do? Am I just going to keep rewinding time over and over, growing close to Iroha, only to part ways again?

Iroha from the previous timeline, Iroha from this one. They were the same person, so her personality hadn’t changed. But her memories were different. Last time, I was the one eating a hash brown in the morning, and now it was Iroha.

Little differences like these would keep building up, and eventually, I might lose sight of the present altogether.

Even so…

As long as Iroha was by my side, maybe that was enough.

“Iroha. I’m sorry. After all, I…”

I didn’t even know what I was trying to say.

I wanted to be with Iroha, to be her partner. But even if I accepted her confession and we became lovers—

Nothing would change if I didn’t stop this loop. And I couldn’t possibly accept her confession without any intention of breaking free from it.

I was sinking into self-loathing.

“Misora… You should always keep smiling. Even if… that smile isn’t for ‘me,’ I still want to see you happy.”

Iroha’s words hurt.

I tried to smile, but couldn’t.

Iroha gave me a wistful look, gradually widening the space between us.

“That’s all. See you, Inazuki!”

It felt as if the timelines had overlapped.

I reached out, but my hand never touched her retreating figure.

And once again, I rewound time.

Another three years—my tenth—began anew.

Support Us

Unlock Early Access ------- Select Project ------- Project Gender Bender Project Necro ∴ Support your favorite series and unlock chapters before the public release.