Chapter 22: Side Story – Katalina’s story

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Author: Starving Wind Original Source: Joara Word Count: 4799 characters
Translator: Anonymouss English Source: Re:Library Word Count: 2754 words
Editor(s): Silva

People always say, ‘Life isn’t fair’. I also believe that this is the truth of reality.

What is the probability of being born as a human among a near-infinite amount of male sperm fertilizing an egg on Earth?1 What’s the probability of being born in a developed country among hundreds of nations? And what’s the probability of being born into a rich family in that country?

Even putting aside the probability of being the upper class of those rich families and being born as the only daughter of the family. I feel that even before the starting line, people already have enormous differences in advantage between each other. Which leads to people saying that life is definitely not fair.

By that logic, I’ve been extremely blessed. I was born as the only daughter of a rich family in Britain, which is considered one of the most developed countries in the world2.

That’s right, I knew that I was superior to anyone else in all facets3, and had grown up that way. Just not considering that I had only gotten the blessings I have because of winning the lottery of life. Therefore, I think I grew up in this environment they have given me with a very snobbish personality. I’ve never experienced not having what I want and always lived with people praising me from all around‌4.

That’s right. If that incident didn’t happen, I would have still been blind with stubborn and snobbish behavior even now. But I may need to thank myself for being snobbish, which was the reason I could experience that incident.

The incident had happened ‌long ago now, but I still remember that moment‌. It was on a summer day when I was in the 2nd year of middle school where I had just entered puberty.

“I heard that the new girl that’s going to transfer in is the Kent family’s only daughter!”

A group of kids whispered to each other as they walked by me, while I felt several mixed feelings along with worry.

I had always led the female students of this school as if I was their leader. Therefore, I was ‌worried slightly as I wondered if I could ‌have a rival of some sort who would fight me for supreme control over the entire school.

With my anxiety building up each day, I felt like I was about to go crazy when the incident happened. The rumored girl that was transferred in had come into my class with the teacher.

“She’s Elizabeth, and she had just transferred in. Everyone please welcome her and ‌be friendly, okay?”

The teacher’s unusually flippant introduction of the girl got on my nerves a bit, but the entire class was ‌quiet. The reason ‌is probably because her appearance looked too much like a doll.

I’ve never met a girl that looked more like a doll in my entire life. Her skin was white as snow, and while beautiful, her dry eyes looked creepy to me. Even though I was young back then, I still noticed that her eyes lacked life somewhat.

“Let’s not be friends.”

A subdued voice came out of her mouth, and a flustered expression followed onto the teacher, but she ignored it as she went to whichever seat that was empty and sat down even though her seat wasn’t designated yet.

And so, the unique first day of her school that didn’t have a single clap of welcome from any of the students passed. And that shocking impression lasted for a long time on me.

Her reputation in school was close to the absolute worst. No matter how long passed, she never will humour anyone’s curiosity about her. Even though at first everyone was overwhelmingly curious about everything around her, her indifferent attitude towards them pushed them away, until after a while she had become practically an outsider.

But that didn’t mean that children outright ostracized her. It may have been different if it was just a normal girl, but she was the only daughter of the most prestigious family in Britain‌.

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I could continue ruling over the school like I was previously doing before she had come in. It was ‌better for me since everyone compared me to her. But I wasn’t satisfied with things going this way.

“Father, could you repeat what you said?”
“I’m asking how you feel about Elizabeth of the Kent family.”

While having a meal with the family in a formal environment, I heard shocking news from my father.

“You’re not saying you wish for a union between the two families, are you?”

I considered it as a half joke and hoped that he meant what I thought about her as a friend as I asked him.

“You’re quick to understand. I feel great knowing you’re just like me. Yes, that’s right.”
“!!!”

I was so shocked that I couldn’t produce an answer. My goodness, I heard about marriage of conveniences, but who would have guessed marriage of same sex for that? And I was very young back then‌.

“This is not the last word from my part. Your grandfather had already made this promise in the past. He probably didn’t expect that both families produced only a single daughter.”
“But still…”
“That’s right. I won’t force it on you if you don’t want it. It was the wish of your grandfather, but for my only darling daughter, I can cancel that for you. I wish for you to be married to someone that you love and truly want to be with instead.”

I could finally let out a small sigh of relief. Since I was young, my father was always overly generous towards me. Just how many fathers amongst rich families would ‌cancel the marriage of convenience of their daughter, anyway? He even promised to support me in my free will‌.

“Thank you, father.”
“No need. Shall I mark it down as you saying no for the marriage then?”
“… Please give me some time, I want to think over it.”

But ‌I hesitated at that moment.

“All right. I will inform your grandfather.”

Father patted my head with a proud-looking smile on his face as we finished having our meal. One could say that I was being considerate for not making my father immediately cancel the wishes of my grandfather, but my thought process was a little different.

For some strange reason, the peculiar beating of my heart that started when I first met her had continued even as I was having my meal with father. I’ve actually only ‌rarely had any talks with her, but I still felt that way every time I talked to her.

I needed some time to understand what this meant.

The next day. I walked over to Elizabeth, who was sitting as usual at the last row next to the window, looking out at the blue sky above with an absentminded look on her face.

Naturally, it was always quiet around her. Many other children came up to me to have a chat since it was a break time, but I quietly declined all of them before I stepped up to her.

I then sat next to the empty seat beside her.

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Suddenly the noisy classroom became deadly silent, and I felt the looks from everyone turn and become directed at me and the girl. I had a small amount of unease thinking I should just give up, but I barely held on as I thought I could finally summon up the courage like this, and it would be impossible if I gave up and tried next time.

“Hi.”

Even as I greeted her, I blamed myself for creating this awkward situation between me and her in my mind. There’re many ways to greet her. Why did I go with ‘Hi’? It ‌goes against the cool image I had built up in the school among the peers, actually.

“…”

The more surprising fact was that she didn’t even give any reply, not even turning her gaze towards me as she acted as if she didn’t hear what I said at all.

Murmur murmur.

Hearing the whispers amongst the children, my face became bright red. Anger, along with embarrassment. I also wanted to scream out loud immediately with another emotion brewing up inside me, but I was able to regain my rationality thanks to the feeling of my heart beating once again in the corner of my chest.

I couldn’t say anything at all. She also said nothing. And time passed. Before I realized it, I had gone back to my seat after apologizing for taking the seat from the other student.

I turned my body forward once again during class time, but from that day forward I started to always look towards her direction whenever there was a break time. Many others became tired from nothing happening between us, and one by one they went back to whatever they were doing as the classroom became noisy again.

Oh yeah. When I think about it now, I think it was because of my serious stubbornness. And so, the strange daily ritual began. Aside from whenever either ‌of us went to the toilet, Elizabeth would stare out the window, and I’d be looking towards her from my seat quietly. I noticed something interesting. The students that were always clamouring for my attention had drifted away from me and formed a group of their own. Slowly, I noticed that I was being alienated by them.

If it was like in the past, I would have tried my best to pull them to me again and assert my dominance over them with some kind of act, but I didn’t care either way anymore.

When I thought about it, it seemed like I had always paid for whatever wished in return. Instead of them supporting me and acknowledging me as a leader, they were simply uplifting me according to their needs.

“Heh.”

I let out a laugh, realizing how pathetic I was.

“Why are you laughing?”
“Hm?”

At that moment, I received a question from her for the first time in two weeks since I met her. As those bored eyes that only looked up to the skies turned towards me with interest, I became flustered.

But ‌I felt a strange sense of accomplishment. I had finally made her ask something, which no one else could ever achieve. The surrounding kids looked on with a surprised expression. Though it didn’t matter to me whether they were focusing on us by now…

“Have you always lived like this?”

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Hearing me question her back instead of answering, Elizabeth’s lips made a faint smile. I had definitely seen it with my two eyes, even though it was only for an instance.

“Hmm, funny.”

After saying that, her gaze turned towards the sky again, and only then I turned my gaze towards the sky as well following her. It was a very blue sky‌.

After that day, though we weren’t particularly close or anything, we still greeted each other whenever we met. There were some kids that spread nasty rumours about us saying that we intentionally ignore everyone else just to play with only each other, but since it didn’t ‌affect us‌, we could ignore it with no problems. And nowadays I would go up to the rooftop and enjoy lunch with her, with the key I had gotten from the principal, with the half threat that I had made to him.

She always looked annoyed every time we went, but seeing as how she never strictly rejected going up there, it didn’t seem like she particularly hated it.

“You’re different from normal people.”

Hearing her sudden words, I answered with a smile on my face.

“You as well.”
“Right.”

She looked as if she pondered what I said for a moment, before nodding her head in agreement. Feeling an immense amount of emotion that she looked so cute in that moment, I knew I was in danger of falling over her.

I wasn’t sure whether she noticed I was shaking my head side to side in my ‌mind, but ‌she stood up and leaned her body over a guardrail. As the blue sky and blinding sunlight shines over her body, it gave off the feeling as if I was looking at a goddess coming straight out of a Greek mythology. I think I have some kind of serious illness. Then I finally realized the reason ‌I had been having these strong heartbeats the whole time.

“Elizabeth. I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?”

I barely summoned the courage to call her. She turned to look at me with a thin smile.
It’s just a single word, yet it was hard for me to say it. My heartbeat that was in a regular rhythm was now beating rapidly out of control.

“Are you feeling okay? Your face is ‌red.”

Hearing her slightly worried words, I finally summoned the courage to say it.

“I love you.”5 “Yeah, I love you too.”

She smiled as she replied to me. Although she should have answered with happiness in her voice, it sounded more like she was exhausted. Maybe she didn’t realize what I really meant. I didn’t know what I should do in this situation where I felt like a bottle of coke that ran out of bubbles.

Then, I once again summoned my courage to say it again, yelling it this time.

“I said I love you!”
“…”

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Her expression became stiff. I then studied her lips as it moved. Please, please… Please say ‌you understand. Please.


I don’t remember how I had come back home on that day. By the time I was fully conscious of everything, I was crying into my pillows while lying on the bed of my room.

‘Thanks. I appreciate it, but my heart cannot love anyone. I’m sorry.’

What kind of irresponsible rejection is that? It was the very first personal affection that I had towards someone in my life, so the sense of loss I felt was even more devastating. Tears continued to stream down my face.

Knock, knock

“Sob… Don’t come in, whoever you are!”

I yelled out in annoyance as I heard a knock on the door.

“It’s your dad. Is it okay if I come in?”

… Right, if it’s father, he may give me some kind of advice. I lifted my body up from the bed and opened the room door.

“Goodness, my little princess. Your eyes are completely swollen.”6

Hearing his considerate words, I once again bursted into tears and cried again loudly in his warm embrace repeatedly. When I calmed down after a while, I told my father everything that had happened.

“Oho. So that’s what happened.”

Just as I thought, father’s expression was one of surprise. Was it the right thing for me to tell him of this?

“To think ‌you had met her in this way… So, what are your thoughts right now? Are you just going to give up on her now?”

I shook my head. Sorry, but as the only daughter spoiled to death in a rich family, my possessiveness is too strong for me to just give it up like this. It was the first time I ever wanted something so obsessively. I genuinely felt that if I can’t have this, I’d rather choose death instead.

“Then the answer is obvious. You just need to accept the marriage of convenience.”

My expression became bright immediately.

“Would that fix it? What if Elizabeth declines the suggestion?”

However, a planned marriage between families is ‌made ‌of group decisions rather than one person’s opinion.

“But my child, both heads of the families had already agreed to the making of this planned marriage, so you have the superiority in this case. When you think about what Elizabeth said, that she cannot accept you since she cannot love anyone, you could flip that around and think of it where if she can finally fall in love with someone, it could be you. But that’s just my opinion.”
“… Thank you, father!”

I once again buried myself in father’s embrace. After some time had passed, I could hear about the terrible things that had happened to her in the past from my father.

And so, my one-sided love towards her continued for 5 years. Inside the Blue Sky game, and even after hearing that she collapsed and I couldn’t find out whether she survived for a long time…

“I will let no one else take you, Elizabeth!”7 8



References

  1. Lilith: Infinite? Please. There’s around 7.8 billion people on earth and let’s assume half are male; the average sperm count for a guy should be let’s say 40-60 million. There would be around 234 pentillion or 2.34e+17 sperm in the world
    Robinxen: You heard it here first folks.
  2. Robinxen: Rule Britannia!
  3. Robinxen: Is this arrogance, self confidence or self awareness?
  4. Robinxen: Retrospective self awareness it is.
  5. Robinxen: HOLD THE PHONE! AUTHOR SLOW THE HELL DOWN?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
  6. Robinxen: Criiiinge
  7. Robinxen: Yan levels rising.
  8. Chapter 22 is some sort of notice from the author regarding less release, so there’s no actual chapter 22. We will adjust the chapter number accordingly when publishing it on the site.
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