Translator:	Author:	Original Source:
MJCross	Cat’s Glasses	SFACG

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Because all the teachers were busy grading exams, classes were just self-study sessions. Calling us to school at this point was nothing more than a formality to comply with the official holiday schedule.

After being caught with two sets of girls’ school uniforms at the school gate, Zhao Zhao was promptly detained by the student council. He didn’t return to class until the second period, looking dead internally, with nothing left to love in this world.

My seat was the second-to-last by the window—the fabled protagonist’s seat.

In anime and games, this is the prime spot for the protagonist to flirt with his harem, engage in heartfelt conversations, and cultivate relationships.

Normally, that would be the case. But my situation was… a little different.

Because this was Biyang Girls School Affiliated Boys High—aka a godforsaken all-boys school!

The only thing surrounding my golden seat wasn’t a harem of beautiful girls, but a bunch of sweaty dudes. The only real perk was being able to open the window for some fresh air.

Tch, reality is just a trash-tier game.

For reference, Zhao Zhao’s seat was directly behind mine—the “semi-protagonist seat” in the last row.

At the moment, however, he looked like a hamster that had just lost its entire winter food stash. His dreams were shattered. His mind had gone blank. He lay sprawled across his desk, looking like a flattened pancake.

Or maybe… a gorilla pancake?

Sensing my gaze, he weakly reached out, grabbed my sleeve, and whimpered, eyes brimming with tears.

“It’s all gone, Commander… My treasures… everything I saved up two months’ worth of part-time money for… all gone…”

“Come on, man, you’re still young. You can always earn more money—”

“But the school rules don’t say anything about banning girls’ school uniforms! And Tan Rinka wears them every day! Why did my treasures get confiscated? This is so unfair!”

Forget about the uniforms’ exorbitant price, the real nightmare was watching a full-grown man bawl his eyes out over them. It was getting kind of gross, and I was genuinely afraid he was about to wipe his tears on my sleeve, so I quickly yanked my arm away.

“Zhao Zhao, this summer break, let’s go play some basketball.”

He blinked, confused. “Huh? Where did that come from?”

“I want you to see that you can also be popular.”

“Popular? Me?”

“Think about it. If we were at a normal high school, you’d be tall, athletic, and a solid basketball player. Every time there was a match, girls would be lining up to watch. There’s no way you wouldn’t attract attention.”

Of course, this only works if you aren’t exuding pervert energy 24/7. No matter how well you try to hide it, an unrestrained, hormone-fueled brain like his would always give off that kind of vibe. Most girls’ instincts and sixth sense would tell them to stay far away.

Realization dawned on Zhao Zhao’s face. “Wait… you’re right! I would be popular! So it’s all the school’s fault I’m like this!”

“You’re only figuring this out now? This school is a soul-crushing hellhole.”

I said that to comfort him, but honestly, it depends on the person.

There were plenty of guys in this school, yet none of them had reached his level of shameless depravity by freshman year. He was just born different—an untamed jungle gorilla with testosterone levels through the roof.

Still, my words seemed to lift his mood. He drifted off into daydreams of being adored, while I, exhausted from this morning’s ordeal, rested my head on my desk, hoping to catch some sleep.

But just as I closed my eyes and was about to drift off, my phone buzzed in my pocket, completely ruining the mood.

Xiao Haitang: [Tangerine’s coming to pick me up at the girls’ school gate after class. You and Zhao Zhao come too—we’re throwing her a welcome party at Old Feng’s place!]

Old Feng was a street food stall owner in our town. Since our area had few city inspectors, his stall had basically become a permanent setup at a busy street corner. His food was fantastic, and more importantly, affordable for students like us, so we were regulars.

Tch. A welcome party, huh?

For me, this felt more like a farewell party.

Tangerine was supposed to be my little sister. That damn sister-snatcher Haitang stole her right from under my nose!

Chen Ju? No, she should be Chang Ju!

…Wait. That sounds kind of weird. Chang Ju…?

Never mind. Maybe it’s better this way…

So Down.

I want a little sister…

As a proper light novel protagonist, how could I not have one?

Drowning in these bittersweet thoughts, all I could bring myself to reply was:

[Got it.]

And as my sleep deprivation caught up to me, I slowly drifted off into unconsciousness.

“Hey, Commander, wake up.”

Someone was patting my face.

The hand was rough—calloused, even.

“Lunchtime.”

It was Zhao Zhao. His palm was so damn coarse it actually hurt. Annoyed, I smacked his hand away.

“Alright, alright, stop slapping me. Has no one ever told you your hands feel like sandpaper?”

“Basketball players’ hands are always like this. If anything, I’d say your skin is too soft.”

Too soft, huh? Not my fault—my only skincare routine is washing my face with hot water.

Ugh, being naturally good-looking is such a hassle.

“What’s the plan for lunch?”

I glanced at the classroom clock. It was almost noon.

“You sleep way too much. By now, the cafeteria line is probably a mile long.”

The school cafeteria was in a separate building, and while it could seat a few hundred students at once, the number of serving windows was ridiculously low. If you didn’t rush over first thing, it was a long and painful wait.

Not to mention… the cafeteria’s rice scoop guy had Parkinson’s. Every time he picked up a spoon, his hands shook like—

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

“Hey, I just woke up too.”

Zhao Zhao shrugged, completely unfazed.

“Wait a sec… I’m not like you. Is my social life really this bad? How come no one else woke me up?”

I mean, it’s not like I had enemies in this class. I wasn’t Zhao Zhao, a certified outcast due to his never-ending pervy antics.

“Oh, actually,” Zhao Zhao smirked, “you were talking in your sleep.”

My stomach dropped. “…What?”

“Yeah, you kept mumbling stuff like ‘Ahh, my little sister~’ ‘My adorable little sister~’ ‘Tangerine, don’t run, hehehe~’”

I nearly choked.

He continued, voice full of mock sympathy.

“I think the guys felt bad for you. They probably thought waking you up would shatter your fragile little dream. It was their way of showing kindness.”

Oh my god.

That explains why the entire class was looking at me weirdly.

Not mocking, not disgusted… but soft.

Like they were watching a broken man.

The last time they looked at me like this was when I confessed to Tan Rinka… and found out he was a dude.

…I don’t want to remember that.

“Forget it. I’ll just grab some bread from the convenience store. Haitang texted me—she wants us to meet at Old Feng’s for Juzi’s welcome party tonight.”

“Sounds good. I’ll go get the food. You go upstairs to the usual spot.”

He gave me a thumbs-up and casually walked off.

Wait.

Why was he being so… considerate?

Usually, we’d settle this with rock-paper-scissors.

What’s with this weird new power dynamic?

The “usual spot” Zhao Zhao mentioned was the top floor of the school building—but not the rooftop. The rooftop was securely locked, meaning we didn’t have the classic “only the protagonist can access it” scenario.

The fifth floor housed the science labs, music rooms, and the student council office, so hardly anyone came here to eat. That made it quiet—a rare commodity in this school.

If Zhao Zhao and I weren’t in the mood for the cafeteria, we’d buy some bread from the convenience store and eat it on the stairs leading up to the rooftop.

The fifth-floor restroom was also rarely used, making it cleaner and free from the usual unpleasant odors.

But for me, its biggest value was…

I could safely take off my glasses here.

No, I’m not being narcissistic.

It’s just… if my true face were ever revealed in this sexually repressed all-boys school, I might attract a horde of very strange individuals.

And if that happened, my life—and the content of this story—would take a very questionable turn.

For now, as someone who just woke up, what I needed most was a splash of cold water to wake me up properly.

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