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Chapter 39: Reminiscence

“Their Majesties were having a good time. It’s all thanks to you, Ekaterina.”
“I did nothing at all. It was thanks to your guidance, Onii-sama, and everyone’s hard work in preparing.”

After the Emperor’s carriage departed through the ducal estate’s front gate, the siblings returned inside together, Ekaterina escorted by Aleksei, exchanging those words as they went.
Incidentally, the crowd that had gathered before the gate to see the Imperial Family off also cheered at the sight of the beautiful duke’s son and daughter. Yet neither of them noticed in the slightest. In that way, too, they were very much alike—completely oblivious to praise directed at themselves.

.

“Your Grace, my lady, I have prepared some tea. Please, take a short rest.”
“Ah. Thank you, Graham. You’ve done well.”
“Everything went perfectly. Truly splendid work.”

They offered kind words to the butler, Graham, and entered a small drawing room near the main entrance. There, the valet Yvan and the maid Mina awaited them and served each of their masters tea.

“As you said, Onii-sama, Their Majesties were most approachable. Looking back, it was quite a pleasant time.”
“You and Her Majesty the Empress seemed to be getting along quite well.”
“She shared many interesting stories. Her Majesty is such a lovely person. Perhaps because she is close in age to our mother, I felt an affection toward her.”
“I see.”

Aleksei smiled gently.

“His Majesty the Emperor also seemed quite pleased as he spoke.”
“Yes. He has always been kind to me. Back when he was still Crown Prince, he often came to visit Prince Mikhail, and would sometimes teach us lessons in academics and swordsmanship.”

So His Majesty was a good father, huh. No wonder his son grew up well.
Meanwhile, my own father was a lazy flirt, and even Lord Magna apparently left his son crying in the royal castle the first time they came—bad fathers everywhere…
When my brother was a child, did he ever think that it would be nice if the Crown Prince—well, His Majesty now—were his father instead? Maybe Vladimir had that thought too.

“I was surprised to hear what Lord Mikhail said about Lord Vladimir when he was young. I had heard before that he was not a very admirable person.”
“…”

Aleksei lowered his gaze, looking somewhat hesitant.

“Onii-sama, you need not to feel obliged to tell me.”
“No… it’s not that I can’t. When we first met, Vladimir was indeed a gentle child. He was shy, but he warmed up to me quickly. I thought—so this is what having a younger brother might be like. And he was remarkably bright, with an excellent memory. Even at seven or eight, he could recite Astraic classical poetry fluently. …But after our grandfather passed away, I didn’t see him for a while, and when we met again, he would walk away without answering when I spoke to him. Not long after that—”

Aleksei paused, his expression bitter.

“For some reason, Vladimir began to accompany Father frequently.”

What?

“Excuse me, by ‘Father,’ you mean…our father, Aleksandr Jurnova?”
“That’s right.”

Well, yes, obviously that’s who you meant, but still—
Why!?
I’m saying this again because it’s so absurd—why, Father!? You know you ignored your real son instead, right?!
And now you’re taking someone else’s child around instead? Even if Onii-sama was mature for his age, emotionally that must have hurt so much!

Wait a minute… our father was a notorious skirt-chaser, wasn’t he? The kind who frequented establishments with “professional ladies,” or casinos, or worse…?
Were those even places to bring a child!?

“I only heard this from others, but apparently they sometimes went to places inappropriate for children. Because of that, Vladimir began to attract bad rumors. The nature of those places is not something a lady should hear, so I won’t explain further.”
“If you believe so, Onii-sama, then I shall not ask.”

Sorry, I can already imagine well enough. Sorry again.
But seriously, Father… what were you doing? Dragging someone else’s kid along to your shady escapades because your own son would scold you for them? How old was that boy at the time…? If that’s true, that’s practically abuse.

“Grandmother was close to the previous head of the Magna family. After all, her mother—the late Dowager Empress—was from House Jurmagna. The late head of Jurmagna served both His Late Majesty and Grandmother with absolute devotion.”

So… the old hag’s grandfather—who was head of Jurmagna back then—spoiled her rotten.
That’s probably why she turned out the way she did…
Then again, the late Emperor was said to be gentle and mild, so I guess in the end, it’s all about individual nature. Yeah.

“That’s why Father was also long acquainted with Georgiy, the current head of Magna. For several years, until Father and Grandmother passed away, Georgiy often visited Grandmother. When Grandfather died, everything started to change—and that was one of those changes.”

Ah…
Onii-sama must have felt so lonely. The one person who truly loved him—Grandfather—was gone.
Then the old hag started running wild, strange men began showing up at their house, his childhood friend stopped speaking to him, and his father—who ignored him—was off taking that friend everywhere instead…
He must have felt utterly isolated. As though his home was no longer his own.
That’s unbearable. Unforgivable.
I’m sorry I ever thought about silly BL flags or anything like that. This goes way deeper than I imagined.

.

Without thinking, Ekaterina took her brother’s hand and clasped it tightly in both of hers.

“Onii-sama… it must have been so lonely for you. Yet even as a child, you fought to protect House Jurnova. How admirable you are. I am still inexperienced, but I swear that from now on, I will do all I can to support you. I promise.”

Aleksei’s eyes widened slightly, then he gently squeezed her hands in return.

“I am blessed, Ekaterina. Heaven has granted me the gift of you—beautiful, kind, my lady.”

…No, I’m really not that great, I swear. I’m just a fangirl who stalked you so much I reincarnated to chase after you, sorryy…

“Ekaterina.”
“Yes, Onii-sama?”
“What sort of person… was Mother?”

Ekaterina gasped.
It was the first time her brother had ever asked about their mother. He had once apologized for her death, but ever since then, he’d avoided the topic completely, as if it were too painful to speak of.

Yvan and Mina exchanged a brief glance, then silently bowed and withdrew from the room.

.

“Well, Mother was—”

Ekaterina summoned her childhood memories.

“She was beautiful, and graceful. Her Majesty the Empress once told me that my mother was the very model of a noble lady. Looking back now, she truly was. She was calm, gentle… Right, she loved embroidery. She was always sewing in the sunroom. She loved painting as well, and she was an excellent pianist. When I was little, she would often play the piano, and I would sing the songs she taught me along with her.”

Yes—when I was little.
The piano disappeared at some point.
Her embroidery… the threads, the needles, even the elegant sewing box she cherished—all vanished. So did her paints and brushes…
All her joys were stripped away, our life worsened more and more, and though Mother remained kind to her daughter, she grew gloomy, and before long, she fell ill and took to bed.

“Sometimes… she spoke about you, Onii-sama. She would say, *‘You have an older brother, you know. I’m sure he’s grown into a fine gentleman…’* Mother’s voice was always gentle and refined.”

It wasn’t a lie—Mother truly said that many times.
But what she said even more often to her young daughter was:

*“Your father is the most wonderful man. Handsome and dignified, tall, and gifted in both study and sport. Most of all, he is so kind, and he speaks such charming words that make you swoon. Back in the days at the Academy of Magic, there wasn’t a single lady who didn’t admire him. When I learned I was to marry him, I thought I must be dreaming. I can’t see him now, but if we wait patiently and behave well, he will surely come to take us home someday. —And you have an older brother too, you know. I’m sure he’s grown into a fine gentleman like your father.”*

I suppose she couldn’t quite picture the son who had been taken from her right after birth. Her heart was more deeply attached to the man she once adored.
Looking back now, I think Grandfather must have suggested that Mother live in the capital instead of the duchy. That way, others would have been watching, and Father wouldn’t have dared act so cruelly.
But Mother must have refused. As a wife, she wanted to remain near her husband and wait for the day he returned to her. Mother was both a maiden in love with her idol and the perfect image of a noblewoman who trusted and obeyed her husband.

…and that deadbeat of a father never came back to her.
After Mother became bedridden, she no longer spoke of him. Instead, she began to wish for her daughter to become an empress. And in the end, she mistook the brother she saw for the first time for her husband, and died.
It’s just like ‘The House in the Reeds’ from *Ugetsu Monogatari*¹: a wife waiting through war for her husband’s return; the husband, having lost everything, finally comes home to spend a night with her—only to awaken in a ruined house, his wife long buried in the grave.

If Mother hadn’t been the perfect noblewoman—if she had been a strong woman like the Empress—could she have stood up to Grandmother and lived together with her family?

But it’s easy to say, “If only she had been stronger.” …reality is always much crueler.
This isn’t modern Japan. Noblewomen here aren’t allowed to choose their husbands, nor can they earn a living on their own. That’s the kind of world this is. The Empress is a rare exception—a woman who must have faced relentless criticism, and yet never bent her will.

I understand that. But still…
I wish I had more to tell my brother.
I wish I could tell him, “Mother always had you in her mind.”
That her life, though modest, had moments of peace and joy, so he need not torment himself thinking she died in misery. I wish I could say that.
Even if it were a lie, I’d want to say it. But Onii-sama is too perceptive. He’d see through it. And then he’d force a smile and pretend to be comforted.
I can’t do that to him. I can’t lie to my brother. Somehow, I just know that.

“Ekaterina… forgive me. I shouldn’t have asked something so painful. That’s enough—please, don’t cry. It was my fault.”

I wasn’t crying… or so I thought.
But when he held me close, I realized tears were streaming down my face.

Ah… the fifteen-year-old Ekaterina is crying. It’s been a while since I’ve felt myself split like this.

“…This isn’t the pain. I’m happy. Because I have you, Onii-sama. I’m very, very happy.”
“Thank you. I’m happy too—because you’re here. My gentle goddess, my queen of the night. If you cry, even the stars will mourn and fall from the sky. So please, don’t cry.”

As her brother whispered, Ekaterina wrapped her arms around him and held him close.
Because hearing about their mother must have saddened him. Because no matter how mature he seems, he is still a child—a child who, from the age of ten, fought alone to protect what their grandfather left behind.

Seventeen and fifteen.
Two orphans bearing the weight of a vast duchy, enormous wealth, and four hundred years of history.

And from somewhere beyond them, separated from this life, the woman who had died at twenty-eight² quietly pitied the two siblings as they clung to each other for comfort.