Chapter 21 – Contradicting Actions

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1 At this very moment, the castle’s garden had turned into a dueling arena.

Along the edge of the vicinity, torches were brightly lit and the joyful folks from the banquet expectantly gathered around to witness a duel between heroes. 2

Unfortunately, the outcome of this duel was already predetermined.

I, who ultimately dealt zero damage, versus the Spear Hero, Motoyasu.

A match between the parties of both the Shield Hero and the Spear Hero! …not! What was about to take place was a one-on-one duel between Motoyasu and I.

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It seemed that the proposal for a team battle was rejected by Motoyasu due to his overflowing pride, and thus we came to have our solo matchup.

Everyone already knew how the duel would turn out.

No sounds of people placing their bet could be heard.3

Although this event was taking place within the royal palace, among the varying mix of nobles were adventurers who aided in the wave-effort.4

Hence it was natural not to start a gambling circle here.5

Everyone unanimously believed that I would end up being defeated.

As spectators, Ren and Itsuki could be seen looking and laughing from within the castle terrace.

They seem to have pleasure in witnessing the moment when I have my slave stolen from me.

****. ****! ****! **** IT ALL!6

Every last one of them thought of nothing but to harass me.

For example, raining fire down on me amidst the battlefield confusion during the wave.7

In the eyes of the people in this world, I am nothing but the object of scorn and ridicule.

… That’s just great. Defeat might have been the only choice for me all along. But, I won’t be defeated without putting up a fight.

“Now then, let us commence the duel between the Spear Hero and the Shield Hero! The victor and the vanquished shall only be determined either before the finishing blow is directly dealt or when one of them accepts their defeat!”

I twisted my joints, cracked my fingers, and shifted into my battle stance.

“Who will fall first, the shield or the spear? Such a match… this will be a joke.”

Motoyasu spitefully stared at me and hissed with his nose.

Are you mocking me?

“Well then―――”

Motoyasu, I’ll show you that only knowing how to fight won’t defeat your opponent.

If one were to ask a merchant whether the sharpest weapon or the sturdiest shield is the ‘strongest’ equipment a person can have, then that merchant will just contradict themselves over the meaning of ‘strongest’. As a matter of fact, the word itself holds no meaning.

However, even if the word is a contradiction in and of itself, I will accept such a contradiction.

And to begin with, what elements decide the outcome of this duel?

Isn’t this just the same as Shogi and Go?8

Even if that’s the case, how would this affect the outcome of the duel?

The ultimate purpose of a spear is to kill your opponent.

The ultimate purpose of a shield is to act as your guardian.9

If one was to carefully analyze and think about it, the sturdiest shield will always triumph over the sharpest spear.

Their purposes were fundamentally different. The spear and shield that is.

“Begin!”

“Uwooooooooooooooooooo!”

“Hyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”10

I rushed at Motoyasu with a Falcon Punch while Motoyasu rushed at me with his spear leveled, preparing to pierce me.11

The distance was shortened in an instant. Motoyasu thrust his spear at me, utilizing our momentum to amplify the penetrative force.

There is no attack that cannot be blocked if one is able to see the direction it’s coming from.

“Chaos thrust!”12

Motoyasu flicked his arm and his spear instantly appeared to have multiplied several-fold.

A Skill! That certainly came at an unexpected moment.

But my rush was unstoppable.

I charged through while holding the shield over my head.

Clang!

Whoosh!

Arg… I could feel pain run through my shoulders and into my legs.

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Although they were only scratches, attacks from a hero sure were different as expected.13

However, Motoyasu’s Skill came to a sudden halt; it seemed to have entered its cooldown period.

“Eat this!”

But Motoyasu continued to thrust his spear at me.14

The spear, its weakness lies within its range.

Like any other polearm, it is specialized for mid-ranged combat. Once inside of this range, its difficulty of usage becomes apparent.

Usually this doesn’t matter as you only need to defeat your enemies before they have a chance to get close. Not for me though, my shield won’t collapse to a single blow.

I dodged Motoyasu’s thrust by a hair’s length and charged with my whole body weight, focusing everything on a single point.

And thus my fist dug splendidly into Motoyasu’s face.

Guh!

Tsk! It’s impossible for me to deal any damage after all.

However, my attacks won’t end with just that.

That ******* Motoyasu didn’t even seem to move an inch from my attack and just rolled his eyes.

Let’s see how long you’ll be able to keep that face, hmm?

I pulled a deadly weapon from within my mantle and threw it towards Motoyasu’s face.15

GABUUU!

“GO!”

My stockpile was completely wiped out earlier during the wave and the fiery rain, so I picked up a few along the way to the castle for negotiation usage.

“Wait? WHAT!?”

Kukuku… look at that idiot Motoyasu speaking in a confused and puzzled voice.

NOM NOM CHOM!

“Ouch, OUCH!”

Motoyasu writhed in agony from the pain of his oh-so-precious face being bitten.

Yep, my attacks aren’t just barehanded only.

There is also the existence of a convenient weapon invented by humanity’s experts, BALLOON!16

“ORA ORA ORA!”

Two on the face and an extra one to his crotch ensure that he’s unable to get back up.

“Wh-, WHY THE BALLOONS!?”17

The spectators shrieked.

Now you know!

I kept adding kicks with all of my weight to the balloon that was feasting upon his crotch.18

“Kuh… *******! What sort of move is this?!”

“I can’t win anyways so I’ll just harass you to the utmost of my abilities! The targets are: the face – a popular guy’s lifeline – and the crotch19 – the proof of your manhood! Inside those balls of yours are just gross otaku-substances!”

“WHAT!? STOP ETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!”20

“Don’t ask for the impossibleeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

I relentlessly knocked Motoyasu’s loins with one heavy kick after another.

Motoyasu managed to peel off the balloon on his face, but was unable to muster any of his impotent strength21 to lift his spear.

To buy even more time, I decided to throw the previously peeled off Balloons onto his face once again.

And of course the Balloons weren’t the only weapons I had, there were Eggies too. Motoyasu’s situation was like sitting on a throne of needles.

I’ll have my fill of harassing him this time around.

I will lose either way, so I’ll carve the utmost trauma onto his soul.22

“ORA ORA ORA!”

“ARG! DAMN YOUUUUUUUU!”

Motoyasu concentrated all of his power into lifting my weight off his body, but I continued with my malicious strikes.

FUFUFU!23

This is invigorating! Let me hear more of your tormented cries!

My laughter and smile naturally surfaced from deep inside me.

“GUAH..!”24

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Suddenly my back was forcefully pushed and I ended up staggering forward.

I looked back at the direction from where the staggering force came from.

What I found was that *****! 25

Mein was hiding within the crowd of people with her hand extended toward my direction.

Most likely, that was a type of wind magic.

To be more precise, Wind Blow is a spell that accumulates and fires a condensed, fist-sized mass of air.

Since the condensed mass of air is transparent, it wouldn’t be noticeable if not closely observed.

That ***** Mein smirked then pulled down one of her eyelids and provokingly stuck out her tongue.26

“Biiiiiiiiitch!”

I staggered again in mid-shout due to Motoyasu’s counterattack, having regained his stance thanks to the reduced weight on his body.

Motoyasu panted as he pushed me down, threateningly holding his pike at my neck. All of my Balloons were shaken off at this point.

“Haa… Haa… My, WIN!”

While holding his spear, Motoyasu declared with a tone ever more desperate than when he fought against the wave of calamity.



References


  1. for those that like to analyse chapter titles (like moi), this chapter [CHAPTER SPOILERS!!] title basically talks about the contradiction in Naofumi’s actions (a hero yet used monsters as a weapon, a hero yet used cheap tactics, the weakest hero yet he was able to traumatize Motoyasu), Motoyasu’s actions (big mouth but got r@ped hard), and Mein’s action (it was a one-on-one duel yet she interfered, not surprising though.) 
  2. imagine a donut ( O ) looking area with the lines being torches 
  3. i.e. no one even bothered to gamble their money here since the result is pretty obvious. 
  4. sounds pretty hilarious since it’s similar to war effort so I went with it 
  5. he could be referring that since there are a lot of nobles -> no gambling normally or it’s useless to do so. The sentence has 2 meanings. 
  6. or just input 4 swear words in a row or just plain ‘**** **** **** ****’ or ‘poop poop poop poop'(LOL) if you so desired. 
  7. reread last chap if you don’t know what that is 
  8. shogi = Japanese chess and Go is another type of chess (vusni: I would say it’s more a type of Draughts (British English) or checkers(American English))using black and white tiles, google it. I myself recommend mah-jong! Can’t get enough of those Rinshan Kaihou. 
  9. fixed and remix to make it cooler in English. 
  10. deriyaaaaaa 
  11. original: telephone punch. Jap’s version of falcon punch. 
  12. midare tsuki -> disorder pierce/thrust -> chaos= disorder. 
  13. this is the first time Naofumi “really” takes any damage. 
  14. it’s not very obvious but Motoyasu was using a “pike”. A variation of spears where its head doesn’t have just the “poking part” but also a sub bladed-side part, like a halberd is a sub pieces of a pike (and a pike is a sub species of a spear) 
  15. a.k.a balloon bombs 
  16. talking about narcissi 
  17. kind of ambiguous, might had been Motoyasu or the spectators 
  18. [Originally “OH LONG JOHNSON”] – I find the phrase hilarious so I’m using it, if you don’t understand: it’s his crotch, a.k.a D*** 
  19. [Originally “thine magnum”] again, one of my antics 
  20. E sound more hilarious compare to I 
  21. in jap the word strength that used here also meant potency- a man/woman’s sexual vigor. This is too big of a hilarious thing to not add 
  22. the danger of a man with nothing to lose 
  23. laugh sfx 
  24. more agonized cries 
  25. original in jap: landmine woman, which means next to nothing in eng but implies a sly, adulterous woman in jap. 
  26. あっかんべー google that 

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